ydoBoN - Profile

Loving the resolution and the progression of the story.

The section of the Russian force user was kinda corce don't you think. He just happens to steal a holographic journal, that happenda to have the information of a GREY JEDI, that happens to come from the same insignificant planet the Mc comes from.

That battle was a dance. I loved every aspect and detailed of it. Truly you are incredible when it comes to action

Why is he acting like a child?

Finally mate. I love your style of writing.

Living the story so much.

I'm enjoying the direction the story is taking. I appreciate the route you have taken with your Mc. His powerful in the physical aspect but his biggest strength lies in his brain, his political mind and his relationship with others

I understand that certain sections of the story may seem less engaging, but it's important to power through them. Skipping entire sections simply because they're perceived as 'boring' can become a detrimental habit. Instead, you could have utilized those six months to delve into world-building or provide further explanation about Godrick.

Sword? Kinda predictable, it's the typical cliché weapon for every story.

Sense of progression. You story is progressing well, the plot and character developing are more than fine. But the issue lie in the sense of progresskon of your OC power. He feels stagnant. You can fix this in different ways. - One can be giving him a power up - You can make the fights more brutal. Mention how he brakes bones, rip skin, tore flesh. (Like in Mortal combat) - Give him a weapon.

That's so messed up; Harmony needed an element of laughter, so it rewired her brain to fit its mold, sealing away the old personality to make space for the new one. Confronted with the reality that everyone liked the new her more than the old, the old personality literally felt depressed and finally decided to let herself fade away. It's so dark.... I love it

Hey, slow down the relationship pace. Fixations and crushes are normal occurrences, but having everyone fall for him in just 2 or 3 chapters is nonsense. You have the time; build the relationships gradually. If I can't sense the relationship evolving and you have to explicitly tell me about it, then it's a narrative failure. Even though the relationship in Twilight had little development, at least it was somewhat obvious from the beginning. Additionally, I recommend giving more time and point of view to the other characters. They feel somewhat flat. It's okay to focus on your OC, but the world shouldn't revolve solely around him. Try to avoid the NPC pitfall; each character should react uniquely. Other than that, the story is quite good. I love the little details such as the SCP diaries and the magic development.

The romance in this chapter was poorly executed. When it comes to character development, avoid using bullet points and time skips. You failed to convey his emotions effectively; instead, you simply stated that he's in love. There was no foreshadowing of this development in the story, despite the obvious imagery of the fiction. This aspect was never mentioned or developed before. Besides that I am really enjoying the story.

Amazing last chapter, one tends to forget that outside adventures, the power level of the average person is extremely low.

I am loving this new attitude

I am loving the story mate but I would recommend you using Chat gpt to point out the grammatical mistakes. That's the only issue I see with the chapter.

Hey, I really enjoy the story, but I've noticed a small issue. To create a compelling narrative, try infusing your unique perspective. Don't merely insert your character into existing anime or manga chapters; occasionally craft your own chapters beyond the predetermined storyline.