Chương 1: If You Were Mine (1)
"If it was me, this would never happen. If only I wasn't too late, you wouldn't have to die like this."
The tears that spilled from his eyes shocked Su Xiaofei. She hadn't expected that in her last moment, he would suddenly show up. Lu Qingfeng, the little boy who used to follow her around when they were younger, was now a handsome young man.
Su Xiaofei lifted a hand and cupped the side of his face. She could feel her eyes stung with tears now. She thought that she would die a lonely death, without seeing anyone, but as she looked at Lu Qingfeng's teary eyes, she felt a warmth that she hadn't felt for such a long time.
"If you were mine, I'd protect you from everyone." Lu Qingfeng continued.
These were the words she had longed to hear from her wretched husband. And yet, here's another man saying the exact words her heart yearned to hear.
"Don't cry, Lu Qingfeng." She told the young man. "It's big sister's own fault that she ended up like this."
He was a man and yet he was shedding tears for someone like her. However, Su Xiaofei never thought that it was a weakness on his part. Lu Qingfeng might be a man, but he was still a human who knew how to feel hurt and sad.
Su Xiaofei's heart ached as she looked at him. Here she was, on her deathbed, abandoned by her own husband as he took everything from her while he cheated on her with her father's real daughter.
In the first year of their marriage, she thought that she and Mo Yuchen got along perfectly well. However, in the end, all of it was just his perfect scheming to get her mother's wealth and her inheritance.
Five years of marriage, and all of it was for nothing. She fell into the intricate trap and schemes of the man she thought loved her dearly and Ye Mingyu, her father's real daughter.
If only she could turn back time, she vowed not to make the same mistakes again. Alas, there was nothing else for her to do but to accept her end. If only she hadn't been blinded by love, she wouldn't end up like this.
"Su Xiaofei, I beg you don't die on me." Lu Qingfeng begged with tears flowing down his handsome face. "I wouldn't have any reason to live if I lost you too." He said as he lowered his head, his grasp on her hand tightening as he continued to cry.
"It's so unfair." He continued, "if only I was born a little earlier than you. If only I wasn't too young to stand next to you."
"Lu Qingfeng, what does your age have to do with all of this?" She asked softly, not sure what her childhood friend meant by his words.
"Everything." Lu Qingfeng lifted his head and stared at her pale face. "You wouldn't have fallen into Mo Yuchen's scheme and marry him, if only I was born a little earlier. The place beside you should be mine, not his."
"You…" Su Xiaofei stared at him in confusion. Why was he saying this?
As if knowing what was going on in her mind, Lu Qingfeng smiled bitterly.
"Because I love you."
The moment Su Xiaofei heard those words, she felt like all her remaining defenses collapsed at that very instant. Tears began to roll down her cheeks uncontrollably as she continued to stare at him.
Next to her, Lu Qingfeng felt pain as he saw tears fall from her eyes. He placed his hand on top of her hand and shook his head. He spoke to her in a gentle voice, telling her that none of this was her fault.
The same voice that reminded Su Xiaofei of the times when Lu Qingfeng would drop everything he was doing, no matter how important it was, to come and accompany her, assuring her like what he was doing today.
She had been a fool to believe that what she and Lu Qingfeng had was only an affection between siblings. She had been a damn fool not to notice that he cared deeply about her, making him feel helpless and miserable at the same time.
"Why? Why didn't you tell me?"
Lu Qingfeng only smiled. He didn't answer her. She should know the answer to her question anyway. Because of her obsession with Mo Yuchen, she had been blinded and had ignored the things that had nothing to do with Mo Yuchen.
Su Xiaofei understood his silence and it only made her cry more.
'You're such a Goddamn fool, Su Xiaofei.' She scolded herself inwardly.
"It doesn't matter. What's important now is for you to recover, okay?"
She shook her head. The doctors told her that she wouldn't be able to live much longer. Her days were already numbered. The poison that Ye Mingyu had fed her for years had caused irreversible damage to her body. Even if she survived, she would forever suffer chronic pain that would never go away.
"It's already too late now, Lu Qingfeng. There's no hope for me, but you still have your whole life ahead of you."
"No. No. No." Lu Qingfeng refused to let her go. "Xiaofei…"
"I cannot be by your side anymore, so you must take good care of yourself. Don't cause your grandfather any more troubles in the future, okay?"
Lu Qingfeng nodded absentmindedly as he continued to cry next to her. She was lecturing him once again, but he'd already tuned out her words. She would never understand that he cannot be without her.
"In the future, find a woman who will truly love you. Who'll never hurt you like I did and would cherish your feelings. When you find her, be good to her and live a good life with her, understand?"
If only she could return to the past, she would do everything in her power to not only to protect herself and her mother, but also Lu Qingfeng's heart.
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