undercontrol - Profile

honestly you just screwed it up , its like you are closing your eyes and imagining scenarios in your head then writing them , none linear , really out of place , no plot , like a kids fantasy cuz there is no way in hell that Elena would wake up then go '' you are single ? you are mine'' that just doesn't happen , if you really want to write an actual story at least think logically and build up the plot u cant jump from day 1 at school into killing originals and being op because that not what a story is man that's just you throwing scenes and ideas of a childish fantasy that the reader cant really enjoy or even appreciate and I'm not trying to be an ass about it but if you want to '' write a story'' u need a lot of work and a lot of planning and time u cant just throw things together and say this is a story , any case good luck in life and stay safe

im lost .... so u jumped from his first day at school t having scott and malia in his pack?... the guy didnt even meet them for gods sake smh , also why the hell would stefan call him then want to kill him? wth is going on with your story man

nice story altho a bit too fast paced , would be better if you slow it dwn a bit for example he should have checked the house first and the cars not just straight out go to school , also he just took out the gun in public? i mean its not something someone who just reincarnated will do or any one sane for that matter , also stefan didnt even know who klaus is at that point . anyway not really nagging just giving an opinion great story tho so keep it up and maybe make the chapters longer and steady after all haste makes waste