ele_phant - Profile

story was actually good and well-written. ....until the protaganist exposed the matter to both families. you would have had the chance for Rosalina to stay in that world/coming home choice if you hadn't done that. the story lost its fun after that. Now it feels like the family is jointly watching a action film. Besides watching how the lone protaganist provides as the system would have been cooler too. Now the protaganist doesn't seem like a protaganist. i don't have qualms with the characters or world building. Rosalina who is built as a traditional hero character along with party building is good too. I don't care about the world building too. Most don't. but more than 80% of the readers will probably after seeing the above problem. i don't know how you are going to rectify it or develop it.