摘要
WHAT! ?, were am i ?, and why is every thing so F*cking BIG?
*ding*
[system stabilization in progress .........20%.......50%.......99%.....100% , system stabilized host may check status]
Lucy; what the F*ck?
*ding*
[*Danger Danger Danger * threat detected ]
lucy: what?
_________________
The picture is not mine so credit to the creator
標籤
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
9評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
the story and character development is a work in progress, but i like how it is currently going, plus i hope to add more action and love seen soon in the novel..
finally a yuri scene the novel is good the update stability is kinda slow but i can wait there is some typos but is okay for me cuz i am here for yuri hehe
First of all the story is really great and has a lot of potential. The MC is funny and a little dumb but this is okay at the beginning I think, let her just be aware of the danger of the world she is in and she should become a little bit more careful and thoughtful and please more Updates
4/4 the grammar is just so bad and spelling is bad too every sentence and the names are just so bad too and other things. The spelling mistakes are obvious too smsjsjkkskkaksk
Really good story line please keep this project moving forward[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update]
I have to first say that the story has potential. But There is a lot of grammatical errors, like Gacha becomes Guchi, Active skills becomes skills active and many others which can be fixed with a spellcheck system. Also some of the skill names feels uninspired and plain borning. Other than that it’s Difficult to say anything else until the grammar has improved.