I am a college student who likes anime, games, and books. I am writing historical fiction for fun. My goals for the future 1. Get my Master's degree in counseling. 2. Finish writing my book series.
2018-09-13 Joined United Kingdom
I think you meant to write she instead of he
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Realistic · Elijah_weiss
I would suggest you put a period after questioning and capitalize the I in if it might be easier to read the paragraph
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Realistic · Elijah_weiss
need a sperate line for I merely nodded because it sounds like the mc is saying it instead of the police
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Realistic · Elijah_weiss
this has a lot of commas I would suggest maybe rewrite
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Realistic · Elijah_weiss
Thank you i will keep that in mind
lovely story. i like the concept. keep working on it..........................................................................................................................................
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thank you. yes, I will update as soon as I can
Thank you
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History · Panqiuyan
You have a potentially good story. I would suggest you write a bit of world-building because I am confused about the setting of the story. is it in China or somewhere else? I would like to see descriptions of places and characters. I also would advise you to look up how to write in the active tone of voice instead of passive. this story has some grammar issues. other than that keep up the good work.
DO YOU TRUST ME?
Realistic · Elijah_weiss