Hello Passerby Here, A good start from the novelist. The author is quite good at keeping flow smooth and not getting stuck on too many details, keeping the reader interested in the process. Punctuation and strange adjectives do take away from the experience. Also the mc doesn't seem quite likable on first glance. I hope this goes well.
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He seems nice.
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
wha- I was just getting attached to that one.
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
shes smart this one.
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
she needs it
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
stop right there criminal scum
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
'Making a smoothie'
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
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Fantasy · The_Sweet_Sparrow
Thank you so much for taking a chance and your kind words as well!
One of my people!
Hello, passerby here, Wow this was a surprise, an extraordinarily gripping chapter 1, well written and sharp imagery. The quality of the writing doesn't let up either, its truly a marvelous work. I do have a few nitpicks though as I always do: the tone slows down quite a bit during chapter two, which is to be expected, but I believe in a writing style like this should keep up the momentum, after all you really had it going there. The paragraphs are quite long for isekai/reincarnation stuff I usually read, which isn't a bad thing but can slow down the reading a bit much, so far, the writing has been good enough that it doesn't matter but do keep this in mind. Overall, quite a surprise! A real gem in the rough here, give it a whirl folks it won't disappoint.
Heroes to Hunted
Fantasy · Sir_Killington