funniest things to say

Having crossed into the Immortal Cultivation World and finding himself at the very bottom, struggling to survive, Xu Yang discovered he possessed a special golden finger. As long as he persisted in any single activity, he could gain the power to transform the decayed into the miraculous. Eating: Stabilize the Foundation and Cultivate Essence, strengthen the body, extend lifespan… Sleeping: Nourish and accumulate energy, be as vigorous as a dragon or a tiger, Eternal Youth… Breathing: Turtle breathing technique, a tide of vitality, Qi Moves Mountains and Rivers… Walking: Travel a thousand miles in a day, shrink the land beneath you, rival mountains in your speed… No matter if it was the common myriad activities or the Hundred Arts of Cultivation, as long as one was persistent, they could reach the pinnacle of refinement. With this, Xu Yang evolved from a humble fisherman into the strongest ever known, revered as the Ten Mile Sword God!

Reborn into the body of a poor young boy in an unknown village in another world, Lu Qing felt quite helpless. Fortunately, he awakened an ability to see through the information of objects, which gave him a bit of capital to survive. He looked at a weed by the road. [Cow bone grass, average quality, medicinal, highly effective in treating bone injuries.] He looked at a red carp in the river. [Red moon carp, excellent quality, delicious meat, a top-grade nourishing food.] He looked at a wild rabbit in the mountains. [Gray rabbit, ordinary wild rabbit, edible.] ... With his innate ability, Lu Qing gradually established himself in the village, able to survive. Just when he thought he would lead a peaceful life in this ancient world with low productivity, one day, he suddenly saw a figure sweeping across the sky...

At age 3, she knew who she wanted to marry. At age 10, she gave away her first kiss. At age 20, she became his personal bodyguard. For her childhood best friend to still run away after all this, what was the point of her learning marital art all these years? The saddest thing to come out of all this was the fact that she was the one feeling burdened all this time… Five years later. “Mommy! How come I am so cute but I do not have a daddy?” “How should I know? Go ask your daddy!” Xia Yuxun watched the newly married couple through the TV screen and answered without looking back. Half an hour later, at the live wedding that was being broadcasted, a crying child was grabbing onto the groom’s leg and screaming “daddy”. The man stared at the miniature version of himself and asked, “Where’s your mommy?” Xia Yuxun, who was watching this live show gulped, “You brat, you are digging your mom a hole!”

Su Yang was an average university student in Shanghai when he received a system that allowed him to add points to things. The point system provided him with missions and by clearing them, he would gain points. Add a point into an object, the object will receive a special ability; add a point into a plant, the plant will come alive; add points on himself, he will get talents or superpowers. With the mysterious point system in hand, Su Yang aimed to become rich and alter his fate. On his path towards success, he encountered many interesting matters and people, including famous actresses and business tycoons. Fueled by determination, Su Yang set his sight on adding points into all things to help him achieve his goal.

Bei Ran lay on the operating table, Gu Qingchen was her surgeon. His eyes, deep as the Aegean Sea, gazed at her: "Honey, it's been four years since we got married, and you're still afraid of me?" Honey? Last night he already threw a divorce agreement at her, what right does he have to call her that? In City A, Gu Qingchen is a long-lasting legend. He is a leading figure in the medical field and a major shareholder in a Fortune 500 company, capable of great influence in the business world. He only needed an obedient wife. Bei Ran was so 'obedient' that he never had to worry. The four-year marriage was just a matter of agreement, but who is the one lingering endlessly after the divorce? She accidentally fell into water at a wedding she was hosting, he said: "Beg me, you know I'm always responsive to your demands!" "Gu Qingchen, we're divorced!" Bei Ran couldn't stand it anymore! He laughed coldly: "Bei Ran, we've been married for four years, you have a five-year-old daughter, do you really want to die here?" Bei Ran was shocked, he knew? Would he fight her for her daughter? Gu Qingchen could never have imagined that the chubby little bun in front of him was actually his biological daughter! "Bei Ran, you hid it from me for five years, always flawlessly obedient before me, tell me, how should I punish you?" Gu Qingchen raised a bloodthirsty smile. Could she possibly not tell him there is also a son who looks just like him! Theater Version: The teacher informed Bei Ran that her son had used a scalpel in school to investigate the cause of death of poisoned small animals. Her daughter was causing a stir in school with her stock trading. In her anger, she said, "No one to take you to school today, take the bus yourselves." The daughter sought help from Gu Qingchen but got no response, so she said: "Yesterday, a pretty aunt stayed in Dad's office for an hour, and her skirt was super short." The twins truly had a shared understanding; the son said: "The station manager hugged Mom yesterday, even kissed her cheek, and said he would never let go!" Bei Ran and Gu Qingchen spoke in unison: "Trying to sow discord, you're still too naive, go to school yourselves!" The siblings shouldered their backpacks and went to take the bus, while the couple returned to the bedroom, closing the door behind them. She leapt onto him, her fiery temper on full display: "You actually stayed with that woman for an entire hour?" He was overbearingly domineering: "Damn it, which part of you did he kiss, I will seal his mouth with a scalpel!"

《Decisive Killing》，《He stood there asking me to kill, I don't kill him, it's an insult to him》，《If he doesn't go to die, am I going to die?》，《I'm too lazy to talk, you're not worth listening to》，《I don't think they're in pain》，《We're all trying to live》 Crossing into the ancient martial arts world where danger and opportunity coexisted, Fang Yuan held the "Book of Good People", as long as he did good deeds, he could become stronger, so he embarked on a path of doing good deeds and accumulating virtue

"Sir, we have an appointment with Mr Jones within fifteen minutes," Amy Miller said "Cancel it, I don't want to be late for my own marriage," Andy Francis said "Wait? What? Are you getting married? With whom? Why we are not informed?" Amy asked anxiously "I think I'm the boss," Andy said "Sorry sir," Amy said and lowered her head "Okay fine, let's go," Andy said before holding her wrist "where?" "How can I marry without a bride?" Andy said while moving out of the office with Amy ..... Well, Do you ever have a crush on anyone? If YES, then to what extent you went for him? Amy Miller who was smart, intelligent, hardworking women has a hard crush on arrogant, overbearing, cold and aloof CEO Andy Francis since childhood but has no guts to express to him. Will Amy proposes him? What if they both got married? Will Andy loves her? Ps:- This cover doesn't belongs to me.

In a quiet world, Adam lived his life peacefully but it all changed when he woke up in an hospital bed with the ability..... Creation Of All Things Armed with this Overpowered ability, watch how Adam would uncover the truth of his world and beyond..

They said that he's a robot - cold and emotionless. Some women find it cool and some find it annoying. In Hana's case... "Isn't it your day off today? Why are you here?" Jacob was glaring at her but she ignored him and just looked for a seat where she can see him from afar. "Are you here to sketch me again?" "Of course. Isn't it obvious? Are you becoming dumb now?" she retorted back while arranging her art materials on the table. Among all the cafe staff, she's the only one who's got the courage and guts to talk to their boss. Jacob crossed his arms on his chest while watching her helplessly. "I don't care about you sketching, drawing or painting me. But don't you fall in love with me." "Heh! Are you serious? Did you think this is some kind of novel plot where a CEO makes a contract with his girl? Seriously?" Hana rolled her eyes and started flipping through the pages of her sketchpad. "Don't worry, I can assure you that it won't happen." "I'm holding you accountable with your words." Jacob said before he left her alone and continued to do his work. "As if I'd tell you that I've fallen in love already." Hana smirked at the thought. MEANWHILE... "Your Majesty, aren't you sorry for your own daughter? What if the Queen, her highness, comes back and finds out that you've banished your daughter?" the small wind diety Airiaj, asked with concern while looking at the huge water mirror in front of them. "Hmp! It would be better if she really comes back." The Cerulean King sneered without any care that his daughter was going through difficult times. If her mother didn't ran off somewhere, Hana wouldn't have a hard time in the mortal world. She would've gotten married already! **** cover isn't mine ORIGNAL PHOTO WAS TAKEN FROM: "Holy Chef, Crazy Empress" -a comic owned by LINKSURE it's edited by a friend https://discord.gg/XkurxZGR

Qin Mu had been reborn and awakened a system. When he saw people and things without principles, Qin Mu decided not to ignore them anymore. "DING! Congratulations, Host, for making choice 3. Take the scam call seriously, making the scammer initiate a police report and fall into their own trap, and activating the Seriousness System!" "DING! Congratulations, Host, for obtaining the Advanced Voice Disguise skill!"