printable funny farm stories

If he wanted to boss around, he could do whatever he wanted. I would continue to farm, but if he tried to attack me, then he would not live to see another day. Zhao Hai was a shut-in until he was transmigrated to another world with a farm and taken over the body of a fallen noble. The land that the noble had was one that could not grow anything. He also had a fiance who was the heir to a principality. To make matters even worse, he was talentless in martial arts and magic where he couldn’t even learn both. “So what if I can’t do magic? I have my farm. Let’s see you try and attack me! I’ll let my bugs out to devour all of your military rations! I’ll put pesticides in your water source and grow weeds on your land! Let’s see you try and attack me after that!” “What? You’ll hire assassins to kill me? Try and do that when I’m hiding inside my farmhouse. Once that is over, I’ll rid your country of all your food sources! Your citizens will come after you instead of you coming after me!” The shut-in had a slightly foul personality. This is a story of how he, and his farm, became a nightmare to the people of a world of swords and magic.

At a low point in his life, Xia Ruofei discovered that a scroll that was passed down in his family had a hidden secret: it contained its own independent world. In the space, there was a spiritual pond that enhanced the growth of plants. There were mysterious spiritual flowers that could cure illnesses. Time in the independent world flowed at a pace ten times that of the outside world. Everything he planted there was of supreme grade and grew at a rapid pace. Everything he raised gained sentience. From that day forth, Xia Ruofei began a different, brilliant life of planting succulent plants and vegetables, raising animals and flirting with beauties.

Suddenly finding herself in a rural setting, Lin Caisang became the village's renowned 'Star of Wealth and Honor'. Surrounded by unique relatives, they treated her as if she were a rare panda—held preciously in their palms for fear she would fall and gently kept in their mouths lest she dissolved. Meet the exceptional relatives: The Powerhouse Father, who declared, "You want Sangsang to get married? You'll have to get past me first." The Stingy Mother, questioning, "What does she need a husband for? She can have all the fine food and a carefree life with me!" The Sly Grandfather, suggesting, "Girls shouldn’t have to do the dirty, tiring work. Quick, call over your brother!" The Majestic Grandmother, fiercely proclaiming, "Who dares to bully Sangsang? Let them face a fight to the death with me!" The Protective Brother, assuring, "Little sister, all the good food is for you. I am not hungry!" Holding her flabby flesh, Lin Caisang wept without tears: "Let me go! I need to lose weight!" Meanwhile, the strikingly handsome, icy man next door not only protected and spoiled her in secret but also had a not-so-simple identity.....

The new novel "Rebirth Space: Charm of the '80s" has been released~ As the eldest daughter of the Yang Family's main branch, Yang Ruxin's pleasure was building the family fortune and supporting her younger siblings. But why was that blind and lame guy such a Relentless Spirit? When she cooked, he would come to light the fire; When she set up her stall, he would follow to hawk her goods... "I say, Mr. Gu, do you have to help with everything I do?" Yang Ruxin asked with a hint of annoyance. "Yes," Mr. Gu nodded earnestly. "Then right now I want to..." "Wife." Mr. Gu hurriedly stood up from his wheelchair, "as long as we don't part, I'll give you anything you want."

The future is grim, with a fantastic and unpredictable high-quality super system produced by immortals and Buddhas. The missions are crazier than ever, with man-eating ogres, murderers, face-cutting madmen, schemes of great families, tomb raiding, apocalyptic crises, and so on. Qin Yu: That's because I have the divine skill of being a drama queen. Jiaojiao: The issue is that your cultivation path shouldn't be farming. Qin Yu: It's just a phase, and what's wrong with farming, anyway? Jiaojiao: Have you ever heard of anyone who became an immortal through farming? Qin Yu: No? Jiaojiao: Yes, the Earth God and Earth Goddess. Qin Yu: ... Actually, there's another name that sounds pretty cool - the Immortal Mercenary, known as the cannon fodder of the great battle between good and evil immortals, demons, east and west forces on the Battlefield. Official group: Enter with one thousand fans (5906,534,83), and enter the VIP group with ten thousand fans. PS: This story can be used to tease both girls and gods, with mostly ambiguity and no CP (couple pairing). It's copy protected, so we hope readers are psychologically prepared for this beforehand. Please don't demand CP or protest the copy protection. Thank you for your support.

An Jing had transmigrated into the body of an ancient farm girl whom everyone could bully. On the day she crossed over, she was sold. Alright, seizing the servitude contract, stepping on her good-for-nothing parents, she held her freedom in her grasp, she was in charge of her marriage, she called the shots for her future—nobody could point fingers at her! An Jing assertively slapped her servitude contract onto the man beside her, "Keep it safe, from now on I belong to you." The man: "......" The man doted on her. Whatever she wanted to do, she did, and they even teamed up to torment all sorts of scum. The couple's life was incredibly satisfying. It's just that the man's identity... (A gratifying story, with both strong male and female leads, 1v1 pampering)

Mum ran away, dad's crippled, and I'm about to be sold to a brothel. Qiao Xiaomai rolled up her sleeves in anger: If you've taken from me, regurgitate it. If you've seized what's mine, return it. All scumbags, clear off. A certain man finished tidying up the mess, rolled up his sleeves and pulled Qiao Xiaomai into a light laugh: "My lady, if you're this fiery and domineering at night, your husband..." Qiao Xiaomai raised an eyebrow, patted the spot next to her: "My dear, come warm the bed~"

I've been reborn! I'm handicapped! Raising a tiger cub is so hard! And there's this sulky Silver Wolf trying to seduce me, what do I do! If you say anything wrong, the cub gets fat. It keeps asking for pats, grooming, paw pinches, belly rubs—it's too much! Speak inaccurately and the wolf's eyes narrow, it laughs in a low, magnetic voice, making my heart race. How do I deal with this! Mysterious flora and fauna have me dazzled, what do I do! Stop thinking! Come with me on an easy-going farming life journey in Beast World! (This story is 1v1 oh~ Hoping for a sweet romance, extend your little paw, come on in without hesitation!) (Our reader interaction, banter, bragging group: 1059700117)

Su Yu, who was idly passing his days in a third-tier university, ended up in a terrifying unknown forest due to the "Sinkhole" incident. His school collapsed into the "sinkhole". The forest was filled with various terrifying mutations, which started, right in his hands.

[Farming]+[Space]+[Heartwarming]+[Prosperity]+[Defeating Scum] Mo Yan, reduced to ashes by an explosion, was reborn in ancient times, becoming a little farm girl on the run from famine! Above her, a kind and handsome Scholar father - not bad! Below her, a lively and adorable pair of younger siblings - very good! But really, she felt like dying all over again, you know? On the run, going without food, drink, or shelter was one thing, but to always guard against bad guys who might capture her to fill their bellies was another! Luckily, her upgradable Space from the previous life followed her, but what the heck - that amazing Space with mountains, water, and meat to eat had been formatted! Faced with a desperate situation, Mo Yan reignited her fighting spirit: So what if it's formatted, I'll still make a fortune and build my wealth right at the foot of the Imperial City! Carving out mountains, planting orchards, buying shops, building houses... not one less! But... there are so many green-eyed troublemakers! Your farm is yours? Here, I'll trap you to death without discussion! Want to be my stepmom? Fine, I'll send you a bunch of widowers! Mother looking for you? Here, take the divorce papers, keep them, don't thank me! ... What? A handsome man is proposing? Uh, this... should I throw myself at him? PS: 1. Insist on farming without wavering + atypical domestic skirmish + no palace intrigue 2. The writing style is fairly serious, and values are normal (not excluding the occasional whimsy of the author) Links to completed works: [Abandoned Farm Girl: A Beautiful Countryside] Link: http://read.xxsy.net/info/527965.html [The General's Legitimate Daughter Not to be Messed With] Link: http://read.xxsy.net/info/473776.html