funniest statements ever

Ye Qiu transmigrated to a world of barren wastelands. He obtained the 10,000 Fold Return System. By teaching or giving his disciples something, he could obtain high critical chance returns. [Ding! You gave your disciple a Marrow Cleansing Pill. You activated a 1000 fold critical chance. You obtained a God Marrow Pill.] [Ding! You passed on ten years of cultivation to your disciple. You activated a 100 fold critical chance. You obtained 1,000 years of cultivation.] [Ding! You gave your disciple a superb grade treasure, the Zixia sword. You activated a 10,000 fold critical chance. You obtained a Deity Sword Cloud.] His disciples praised, “Master, you are so generous. You always give us everything you have.”

[What is the method to distinguish the gender of the Thunder Rat?] [What is the attribute of the Thorn Seahorse?] [What is the superpower trick that the Lipstick Magnet Monster can learn?] The last science subject of the college entrance exam suddenly became the basic knowledge of Phantom Beasts! Chen Qiyue, who was sitting behind the desk, had a bewildered face. Well... well... Looking at the contents of this test paper and the surrounding students who had their heads buried in their books, the corners of Chen Qiyue's mouth twitched. He must be dreaming. Or else this world was crazy! ... Inside the Phantom Beast Feeding House "Sir, which one do you really want to buy?" the female receptionist asked weakly. Chen Qiyue pointed at one of the Phantom Beast eggs. "I'll take it!" "Okay, I'll take it down for you." "Wait! I'll take this one!" Chen Qiyue pointed to another egg. "Okay, do you still want to change it?" "Wait!" The female receptionist was speechless. Half an hour later Chen Qiyue happily walked away holding the black, unattractive egg with a few blue spots in his arms. The female receptionist suddenly turned pale, her legs went weak, and she fell to the ground, crying. "He was such a bad person. He deliberately pointed out all these Phantom Beast eggs." Chen Qiyue spread his hands. "Well, I had to make better use of my cheats." "Ahem, I'm a decent person!"

This is the story of De Longjun, a cold and stoic man and Zan Guiying, a cheerful and innocent girl. The story shows the development of their love and how they cut through all the obstacles and find their happiness together.

[FREE] A small town. A girl with a dangerous destiny. And a war between creatures that refuse to stay hidden. In the Kserton Trilogy, seventeen-year-old Asya Chernaia is thrust into a supernatural underworld of vampires, werewolves, and ancient curses. Each choice she makes pulls her deeper into a conflict that threatens her family, her first love, and her very humanity. From the thrill of forbidden romance to the terror of betrayal, this trilogy is a pulse-pounding journey through love, loss, and the razor’s edge between survival and surrender. First love. First heartbreak. First taste of blood. Love triangle and slowburn included.

[Mass release November 1st] Kim Min-jae thought he was just borrowing his sister’s new gothic romance novel. Instead, he wakes up as Kaizar Amagi, the man who ruins everything for the novel’s beloved heroine. In the original story, Kaizar is a ruthless schemer who marries Duke Meical Vukasin, the heroine’s destined partner, purely to destroy her. He dies hated and alone. But Min-jae isn’t planning to die for anyone’s plot. If he’s stuck as the homewrecker, he’s going to be the best damn homewrecker this world has ever seen. He plays his part flawlessly: charming Meical, dismantling the heroine’s plans, and smiling sweetly as she loses everything she holds dear. What he doesn’t expect is for Meical to fall for him for real or for the story to reveal a hidden BL route that was never in the book his sister read. Now, in a world of revenge, lies, and dangerous passion, Kaizar isn’t just ruining the heroine’s fairytale ending… he’s rewriting the entire story as his own. Weekly Challenge: 60 PS = 1 Bonus Chapter 110 PS = 2 Bonus Chapters 150 PS = 3 Bonus Chapters 200 PS = 5 Bonus Chapters Gifts: Luxury Car = 1 Extra Chapter Dragon = 2 Extra Chapters Magic Castle = 5 Extra Chapters Monthly: 100 GT = 2 Bonus Chapters 200 GT = 5 Bonus Chapters More tags #Mpreg #MarriedForRevengeStayedForLove #TooGayToDiePlot #WifumaterialWithViolence #HesGotABigBick #TouchHimAndDieEnergy #GayAndPlotting

Crops will wilt, animals will die to unknown causes and wells will dry up. After angering the heavens, the humans were taught a lesson to never overstep their boundaries. Sacrifices were made, and what humans’ thought was gone, has returned. Five hundred years of peace and prosperity is about to come crumbling down. Someone must rise from this and put an end to this curse once and for all. Who will it be? Ying Yue thought she was just an imperial general. Doing her duty to defend the kingdom, who would've thought that after being wronged by her own sister she would end up being destined for something greater. ***Writer notes: Novice writer, no proper education or prior writing lessons. Yes, there will be grammar errors. *** This story is completely fiction, so before you read it, make sure to throw all logic out. (Lol)

16 fighters come together in a tournament to see wich one is the strongest the rest will die one from each continent following shinya our main character

Die siebzehnjährige Anastasia (Asya) Tschernaja hätte niemals gedacht, dass ihr Umzug nach Kserton, um bei ihrem Vater zu leben, ihr Leben so grundlegend verändern würde. Was eigentlich nur ein gewöhnliches Abschlussjahr an der Schule werden sollte, verwandelt sich schnell in etwas viel Dunkleres: Die Stadt birgt Geheimnisse – Nachbarn, die nicht sind, was sie zu sein scheinen, Vampire, Werwölfe und andere Wesen, die sich nur knapp unter der Oberfläche verbergen. Asyas alltägliche Sorgen um den Schulabschluss verblassen, als eine Entführung sie mitten in eine gefährliche Welt hineinzieht. Familiengeheimnisse kommen ans Licht und stellen alles infrage, was sie über ihre Vergangenheit, ihre Stadt und sogar über die Menschen zu wissen glaubte, die sie liebt. Eine verbotene Liebe zu ihrem Mitschüler Nik zieht sie noch tiefer in diese übernatürliche Schattenwelt hinein – doch das Begehren ist untrennbar mit Gefahr verbunden, und das Überleben hat seinen Preis. Gefangen zwischen Freundschaft, Liebe und Verrat muss Asya ihren eigenen Weg finden, die Grenzen zwischen Mensch und Monster erkennen – und den Mut aufbringen, den Wahrheiten ins Auge zu sehen, die ihr Schicksal für immer verändern könnten. Eine Coming-of-Age-Geschichte voller Geheimnisse, Romantik und Legenden – über das Erwachsenwerden in einer Welt, die alles andere als gewöhnlich ist.

For each of us, things and events present themselves differently. We cannot afford to be envious of the happiness of others. Happiness comes in different forms; we need to be attentive and know our needs to seize the opportunity when it arises. Do we know what it's like to love and be loved when we are young? Are our choices considered? We will never know if we never try it, and love does not wait for age. It falls on you. And fate? Does that mean anything to you? So no matter how hard you try to change it, it remains unchanged. What is written cannot be undone. At Woodhill, a private high school located in the heart of New York, the elites of this society come together to receive the best academic training of all time. All these teenagers are descendants of responsible and prosperous families. But as it is written, there are always exceptions when there are rules enacted somewhere. Among the rotten-spoiled petty-bourgeois, a few children from the small society are accepted as little geniuses. They all have brilliant brains; that's the only thing they have in common with New York City's future leaders. Again, there are a few exceptions among those who can afford academic training worthy of their social rank but do not have the required level. But as they say, between friends, we support each other. Money makes the law. Of course, you can be brilliant but can't afford to access Woodhill. On the other hand, if you are part of this bourgeois elite, you are unlikely to be denied access. There is a boy with the most interesting personality in this category, who is intelligent but does not have sufficient means. Some say that he is bipolar, others say that he has schizophrenia, and so many stories circulate about him, but no one really knows who he is. Howie is the name of this mysterious boy who is being chatted up in Woodhill. A god-sand-beautiful, intelligent, and talented boy who, unfortunately, is poor and disturbed. Some see him as a waste because of that.

Shaped by a future that has yet to pass, Aureum finds herself in the life she longed to return to. Yet, even this miracle comes with imperfections. Fifteen years back in time isn't enough to erase all her problems. The Nix family, her ex-inlaws who own her home city-state of the same name, are still as much eyesores as before. Even worse, her ability to deal any meaningful blow to them is crippled. In this version of her life, even Aureum wonders what she'll decide to achieve. But it's a certainty she'll overthrow anything for her own happiness. Join Aureum in her adventures across Aeternitus, a land of magic with a bloodied past, and see her grow in power, relationships, and experiences. Updates Wednesdays and Sundays. Uploads on: royalroad.com webnovel.com tapas.io inkitt.com