Chapter 3: Tau’s Original Logic
"As a shepherd of the Shadow Tree, it is our duty to protect and guide young gods like you so that you can better understand yourself and learn how to use your domain to maintain your own existence."
"I'm not sure I understand..."
"It's okay. You'll get it in time. Everyone starts out confused and frightened, and then they learn. It's no big deal."
Tau nodded.
"Anyway, all gods technically used to be mortal. Don't worry about the details. The takeaway here is that because of this, all gods have an original logic that they most resonate with: the world logic of the world they lived in as mortals. Finding this original logic is the first step in understanding yourself."
"And that's what this test is about?"
"Yep. That's exactly right. We'll start by determining which branch you're from and narrow it down from there."
Four held out an open hand with the palm facing up.
"Look at my hand and let me know when you see something."
At first, Tau saw nothing; There was nothing in Four's hand but empty air. Slowly, Tau became aware of a fuzzy outline taking form. It was similar to the censured figure Tau encountered when she first arrived at the Borderlands. If she looked directly at it, it seemed to disappear, but when she observed it through the corner of her eye, there was definitely something.
"I think there's something..."
"Ah... so it's starting. Okay. Let me know when you have a clear image."
The object then faded into nothingness again for a while. When it returned, Tau could make out a sort of color accompanied by a dull droning, but the form remained elusive. After a few more cycles of fading and appearing, the object took the form of a pure white sphere. It was unbelievably smooth; Tau could see the lights of the ceiling reflected in the sphere. In comparison to the previous instances, the sheer clarity of this image made Tau gasp in surprise.
"You see it?"
"A white sphere."
"I see. Well, I'll just run through the rest and we'll see if that's the best we can do."
So, the sphere disappeared and the cycles returned. Although Tau caught a vague wisp of form several more times, nothing could compare with the clarity of the sphere.
"I see. Turns out we're from the same branch," Four smiled, "Spatial and temporal containment, causality delay, randomized initial value, with finite elementary interaction pathways. Now, it's just a matter of finding the particular parameters."
"...um… so… what are you talking about?"
"We'll be proceeding to the next stage of the test. This is going to get a lot more interactive."
Four rubbed his hands together. His domain expanded to fill the entire cavern, engulfing Tau.
"I'm going to quickly apply some of the common parameters found in world generation. If the parameters I test are different from your original logic, your existence will naturally resist my application, and I'll know that it's a miss. This will feel a little unsettling, but do not worry. If we're lucky, we can finish this quite quickly."
The cavern disappeared, and Tau was dropped into darkness. It did feel rather startling, but with Four's explanation, Tau managed not to panic. The darkness shifted endlessly, bearing down on Tau over and over again; Tau, correctly, interpreted this to be Four constantly applying new parameters.
For a while, things were fine. Tau gradually grew used to the constantly changing darkness. After a while, however, she began to develop a mild headache. As the test continued, the headache steadily grew worse.
Then, for just a moment, Tau found herself back in the cavern, with the lights of the ceiling breaking the darkness. But, at the same time, she was still in the darkness. The image of the ceiling lights had come from something within herself; it seemed like a sporadically recalled memory or some sort of illusion. Yet, she could tell: while she rejected the parameters that had just been applied, there was some other conscious part within her that accepted them.
This, she could not understand, and, now with a mind-splitting headache, she began to feel the panic rising, bubbling to the surface. Tau did her best to suppress it.
Then, she was once again in the cavern, except this time it felt real. But the other consciousness within her could not accept it. It writhed and swirled against the currently applied parameters. This conflict broke Tau's resistance, and the panic broke free.
And then, the burn of cold steel in motion. Tau's panic was cleaved from her, and Four's domain shattered, replaced by a familiar sharp coolness.
"That was careless of you, Four," Kant had returned.
Tau could tell she was back in the cavern, but her splitting headache had brought her to her knees. The lights of the ceiling blurred and faded as she curled into a ball on the ground, holding her head.
"Are you alright?"
Tau could barely hear Phi. She was falling deeper and deeper within herself to escape the pain. Phi watched as Tau's body began to disintegrate. Phi hugged her, trying desperately to hold her together, but to no avail, and soon, Tau's body had completely disappeared.
"Kant..."
Phi turned to Kant with a panicked expression on her face. I'm sure she would have cried if she could.
"Unfortunately, I lack the ability to resolve this situation. Her fate is in her hands."
Kant walked over to the distressed Phi and hugged her, patting her head, comforting her.
"My apologies to you as well, Four. The situation was urgent. My display of ability lacked the appropriate control. I hope you would forgive me."
Four had been shattered into a glimmering pile of bright green shards of crystal. The shards quickly reassembled themselves, and soon, Four was back, brushing off his suit and adjusting his tie.
"No, that was my bad. I shouldn't have forgotten something so basic. As a shepherd, I screwed up big time."
"Indeed, this is rather unlike you… Regardless, I believe the results have been obtained."
"Yeah… sort of. First off, her domain stamina was significantly below average. It saves time, so I generally only start worrying about and observing the condition of their domain after testing a certain number of parameter sets."
"It would appear that your experience betrayed you… But what of her logic?"
"Her original logic is of my branch, but as for her specific parameters… I've never had results like these before..."
"Elaborate."
"It's really hard to explain. Before you forcibly ended the test, I had achieved two partial resonances. Both felt really close to her original logic, too close for it to be just some other world, but both were rejected in the end. It's almost like..."
Four's voice trailed off.
"Intriguing," Kant agreed, stroking his beard, "Unfortunately, I can offer no insight upon this enigma."
"Yeah, well, I don't think it's anything too important. Even if it's not perfect, it's enough to give her some direction. I should get back to work. Let me know how it turns out."
Four reverted to crystal form and floated past Kant out of the cavern.
"Sure," Kant nodded at his departure, "Thanks again."
Four flashed kindly in response, "No problem. I owe you at least this much."
And Kant was left in the cavern, with Phi in his arms, both of them waiting, hoping that Tau would see this through.
-
Tau felt like she was floating in a droplet of water. Threads of light outline the edges of this tiny world. Inside, tiny specks of light dotted the world like glitter, swaying back and forth with the current. The light was all very faint, and the thought of it all flickering out flashed through her mind as a possibility, only to be quickly dismissed. The light was slowly growing stronger.
The outside of the world felt so unreachable and distant. But, at least here in this bubble of light, the pain of the headache faded, drowned out by the gentle sway of the current.
After indulging in the peaceful bliss of it all for a while, Tau decided to investigate the conflict that had been slowly becoming more obvious with the recovery of the light. For there were two strains of light. One belonged to her, but the other belonged to that mysterious force within her that had nearly destroyed her during the test.
In the center of this bubble, there were two stars. The main star at the center was Tau's; She could tell. But, the other star was of foreign light. She could tell that the other presence had also awoken and was observing her.
{Who are you?}
Tau's thoughts reverberated throughout the bubble, creating new currents of light in its wake. The other being responded.
[I am Tau.]
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