Chapter 3: God! More like a Dog!
I typed in a speed similar to hurricane thinking how cool I would look while typing so fast.
Still why gay.
Not me but the hero of this novel.
Not this novel that you're reading but the one I'm translating.
We're doing a project of some French novel where protagonist is gay and fell for a guy who is not gay at all. That what I wanted to believe till I translated this chapter. Sigh.
"Babe you look so gorgeous in everything you wear" came a masculine voice from 10 meter behind me.
"Hehe, you're so cheeky. Don't you have anything to say other than that." Replied a cute feminine voice while unbelievably belongs to my mate Barkha.
"You look even more gorgeous with any dress. " said the boyfriend of my friend in a red-rosed voice.
" Bad boy", said girlfriend of the boyfriend with such coquettish sound that my hair uprooted from goosebumps.
"Cough...cough" , Dammit there are other people here specifically virgin like me and that guy beside me.
Oh, that Just me in mirror though.. Still my virgin reflection in mirror feels so uncomfortable.
"You guys get a room. There are people working here and which includes innocent people. So, don't dirty our holy workplace."I found the guy in mirror was quite irate when he said that.
"Well only you're free enough to snoop in our conversation and there is no such person known as innocent exists here. Well virgin might be a possibility but innocent huh... hell no.", said the girl whose voice turned malicious as soon as she talked to me.
"Right darling?", my face contorted hearing the obvious change and vocal cords.
"Arghaat when will you be free?", said Ronit.
If you're wondering who is Ronit then the answer would be Barkha's 2nd boyfriend.
Just kidding.
It's the same guy.
I just didn't know his name.
Still what a sexy name.
Whereas look at my name sounds like some chronic diseases.
"Yeah in a while",was muttered back as a reply.
----
After 15 minutes 10pm
""Cheers!!! "", voices re-sounded in a apartment.
"Yeah cheers", including a flat voice.
"Get some energy man, that's why you're always a virgin", said fake loli who gulped down her beer like flavored soda.
"You know it's not flavored soda", a boy couldn't help but worry for a dense woman (not).
"Don't worry, that will be-
*thud
her last drink", Is what Ronit said with twitching brows.
"Wow, she passed out with just one can of beer", astonishment was apparent in my question.
"You never had drinks with her?", asked Ronit with obvious change in his attitude.
Woah!, this guy's tolerance is weak as fuck. As expected from birds of feather flock.
"Well you're not much better than her but still what kinda relation do you think I have with barkha ?", I asked for references only.
May be not.
"Well, um I thought you had some history. "
"Woah! stop right there", I stopped him from going towards the abyss.
"It never happened in 10 years and won't happen after 10 or 20 years, hell I can't even get a boner even if she's dancing naked in front of me.", I assured him thinking about his never ending Paranoia.
"Umm, I didn't know you're gay", he said with distancing himself from me.
"You're gay! your mom gay!", I screamed in reflex.
"Oh sorry then...", he said hesitatingly.
"She is like my kin or you can say family. I'm unable to she her in romantic way."
Not with that dick hanging between those slender legs.
"Well I should go. Gonna take this bottle with me", I picked up the half empty bottles of reserved whiskey.
"You're not going to take her with you? ", Ronit ask in confusion.
" Well she wouldn't want me to. Also, there is no way she'll let her guard down and get dead drunk if she didn't trust you and I'm pretty sure you have done all the things that needed to be done."
"No I haven't.",he lowered his head as replied.
Yeah I know you haven't otherwise instead of this Blush what your face would show probably be paleness or terror.
"And she's heavy", remembering some disturbing memories I said.
"Really?", a imaginary question mark popped up beside his head.
"Well you wouldn't understand", staring at those biceps I replied.
"Bye"
"Yeah bye, sorry for the misunderstanding."
"Don't worry, I don't mind.", not that I either care.
....
*crash
Sigh
Ah I'm finally drunk.
How pathetic I am.
To think I would get depressed after seeing my friend happiness and prosperous future. I always thought that I would always be her priority but after seeing them. I felt like I was left behind.
In reality I just stopped moving forward while she didn't and I had nerve to even think of it's as a Betrayal.
A drunk guy looked at sky with reflected that pure darkness similar to his heart.
"lowly human what nonsense are you thinking, woof", and was wide awake from self mocking journey hearing a ridicule filled voice coming from a huge dog standing in front of him.
"Sigh, I'm drunk indeed." said while trying to find my Center of gravity.
"You're not drunk!, just sad after knowing that you'll be lonely again.",Replied the Saint Bernard dog with haughty human voice.
"Oh is that right?", I grinned in amusement.
How fucked up I am, even my subconscious conjured a fictional being to let me know my despair.
"Fuck off lowly human, your pathetic conscience is unable to manifest a majestic being like me.", ah mind reading or in cheap words thought sharing between similar entities.
Though, Why this arrogant dog looks so familiar?
Huh, trashy mortal didn't you saw me in the morning. As expected of a inferior being whose cognition is lower than lowest primal species.", dog clicked his tongue.
"What the fuck, just because you're a Saint Bernard don't think you're some hot shit.", yeah don't lose arghaat that's just your inferior version.
"Fack your mother! , You lowly Vermin had audacity to call this God something like Saint Bernard. By the way what's a Saint Bernard?" a golden dog with his Shitty saliva flying all over the place barked.
Finally understood how being dumbfounded felt like.
"Hahaha... God!"
Hmm seems like my soul has grown to fast and leaked out of my body forming a corporeal form. To make it disappear only thing I can do is let him have his piece that's how delusional entity operates.
"You lowly human should be able to tell that I can read your mind", replied the god with rolling his dog eyes.
"Yeah, after all you're part of my soul", someone explicitly showed his despise.
"Whatever, lowly human open your dog ear and listen well this is a once in a lifetime opportunity",
ME? Dog ear? It seems this God has taste dysfunction that may be why he can't taste the Irony in his words.
"What once-in-a-lifetime opportunity this mortal has received from your excellency", I humbly bowed down and pulled up hem of my imaginary skirt.
"After watching your miserable way of living life, goddess of compassion has shown benevolence. Mortal, you're allowed to choose any thing you want. Except for right of godhood and immortality.",said godly doggie bursting with proud.
Hmm that's interesting.
Though I know this is a figment of my imagination. still, what wrong with indulging in delusion.
"Anything! except for these two.", makeup of naive boy was applied on my face.
"Yeah", said puffing his chest. Not that he actually have one.
"Okay, I want evil God profound vei", before I could say anything.
"Not possible", I was denied.
"Why", question mark pops up on my head with angry emoji surrounding me.
"Copyright issue, This power has been issued to some else. ", said a self proclaimed rabies God with matter-of-fact tone.
What the hell.
"Then give a godly artifact or haven defying treasure", I spread my hand like a homeless bigger.
"Well most of the artifacts has been given to other people and nothing is available at this moment.", replied a being wagging his tail without feeling an ounce of shame.
"Okay give me a ghost grandpa or super strong spirit loli or anything." well beggars can't be choosers.
"I am not allowed to do that", flatly rejected a certain someone.
"Can't do this, can't do that. What the hell can you do.", I can feel myself surrounded by angry emojies.
"I have a cheat system just tailor-made for you, by our beloved goddess. You should feel honored. A lot of people from our realm are extremely jealous because of sheer favoritism shown to you.", all I saw yellow teeth with foam.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Astrayed
Astrayed After getting hit by a car and admitted at hospital., I'm back, not that anyone cares
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