That day long after Juliana broke up with me was the hardest. For me when I received that long text, well it caused for a pain in my chest. My phone made that typical chiming sound whenever she had sent me a message. I was doing something at that moment in my room when I went to see her message. I certainly wanted to pull my black hair out as I slowly read her message. I regretted not investing more time in our relationship and making her more of a priority. I chose not to talk to her after that text...that was for about four months. My chocolate brown eyes started to become more hooded and dimmed. I could hardly eat, drink, or sleep properly. I started to experience a tingling sensation in my fingers and numbing cloudiness when thinking. I tried to live life without her. I missed her smile, her hazel eyes, and most of all her happiness when she laughed. I started to make horrible decisions that made my mother cry. She told me to stop or I would regret all my mistakes...but being strong willed, I didn't heed the counsel of her. I started to see a new woman who had dark hair, who had a smoking and drinking addiction. Not long later I started to fall under her influence. It was like I was possessed by her familial spirits. One day I woke up and realized I needed to reform. I picked up my nephew and we drove to Taco Bell. When we came up to the drive-thru window, I felt nervous and tried to get the courage to talk to Juliana. I still had the hots by looking at her. I felt disappointed when she avoided my eye contact as she took my payment and handed me the paper bag that contained the few items I ordered. I really wanted to ask if she was doing okay but in the end I was left with asking for some hot sauce. My heart felt heavy as I drove away.
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