Chapter 2: Xiao Ren of the Xiao Clan
Xiao Ren didn't leave after Xiao Su ran off. Instead he practiced in the courtyard like he usually did. Actually, he practiced much harder than he usually did, too hard. His usual pace was nowhere to be seen as he kept repeating the same skill over and over again in a frenzy, pouring all his raw emotions into the act. In an hour he was kneeling on the floor, heaving from overexertion.
His was filled with frustration and helplessness. He didn't possess [Vigor], so he tired as quickly as a regular cultivator, his comprehension wasn't anything special, so he couldn't learn skills or techniques quickly, he was from a small branch family and had basically no support in the main family, so he couldn't cultivate fast, he had nothing. Everything pointed out that, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much effort he put in, he was fated to live the life of an average person.
In his village his hard work and willingness to suffer was able to overcome the difference in talent and make him the strongest of his age group, but when he came here on recommendation, he discovered that it was only because the so-called talents of his home were mediocre, in the face of true talent his efforts amounted to nothing. This was the truth of reality, there'd been many who'd succeeded without an ancient ability, great comprehension or a strong background, but they all had something else they could rely on, on talent they could make work, there was no such thing as a truly mediocre person reaching the top. Xiao Ren understood this, but he couldn't accept it.
He wanted to be strong, he wanted to help those he cared for, he never wanted to be forced to do anything, he wanted to be able to command respect, he wanted to never have to worry about aging, he wanted to reach the pinnacle of cultivation, he wanted to become the strongest, his heart was filled with an uncontrollable desire for strength! No matter how unreasonable and delusional it was, he refused to accept he couldn't make that desire a reality, even though the truth was knocking at his hearts door.
As he despaired over the disparity between his ambitions and ability, he couldn't help but think back to Xiao Su and grit his teeth while his eyes showed a mix of guilt and envy. Xiao Su hadn't done anything wrong, but he'd still snapped and took out his frustrations on her. He regretted it, he regretted showing such a pathetic side of himself and, more than that, he regretted making her cry. For the last two years, Xiao Su was a faithful companion, a fun sparring partner, and a wise teacher for him, all things he should only be grateful for. However, if he was being honest, the more he learned about her, the more a feeling of resentment grew in him.
He knew about Xiao Su's predicament after spending so much time with her, she was looked disdained by the inner-court disciples and elders, but, unlike anyone else, he also knew that she had the ability to solve it if she wished to. Xiao Su is talented, after being with her so long he could only conclude this. She also had an abundance of resources, she frequently offers him high quality resources, trying to goad him into taking it since she doesn't use them anyway. He'd thought she was just saying that to make him take it, but, considering that she doesn't enter any competitions despite having a certain level of accomplishment, it's quite possible she just has no interest in cultivating.
To him, who desired to cultivate to the extreme, it was insulting and aggravating to think someone was blessed so much but chose not to use it. It's like everything he aspired for was rejected and tossed aside like trash. He knew that wasn't the case, he knew it had nothing to do with him, he knew he shouldn't try to enforce what he thinks is right unto others, but, deep in his heart, dark feelings of envy and anger kept building uncontrollably. He couldn't help thinking, "It's fine if you want to live normally, it's fine if you have more interest in being a scholar than in cultivating, but if that's the case, can't you give that talent to me?" deep inside.
Xiao Ren stood up shakily. He didn't want to think anymore, he didn't want to face his situation. He had nothing, so the only thing he could do to improve is work harder than anyone. He once again began practicing, but not even twenty minutes later he was once again gulping air in exhaustion. Tears began to leak out his eyes as he was faced with reality. It's no good, I'll never make it at this rate, he despaired. The rules for the annual youth competition had changed, if he couldn't place well, he'd be sent back to his village as a failure. His parents would lose the comfortable life they'd grown accustomed to in the last three years. Even though he tried to stay firm, tried to keep the belief he could become an expert if he worked hard enough steady in his heart, reality was forcefully crashing in.
Sorry Xiao Su, you didn't do anything wrong, it's all uncontrollable fate, but I can't help but resent you, I can't help but envy you, I can't help but curse you for squandering what I desire so much. He loathed himself, he felt he was a disgusting person for thinking such a way about someone who'd helped him so much, but he couldn't repress these dark feelings any longer. "Xiao Su, sorry, but I think I might hate you." He whispered to himself as he sobbed.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone