"Hindi ako mamamatay tao, Lite."
Paulite rose up on the bed. Urgently, he closed their distance. His palm covered her face, gently wiping her tears. "Hush. I believe you, J. I know you won't do that."
Her chin is shivering. She is scared. Why would Ana turn the table with her? What is her reason for pointing everything with her? She has been nice to Ana. She listened to her. To everything. Then why would she blame her?
"Bakit pakiramdam ko, hindi magagawa ni Ana na ituro sa akin ang lahat? Na tinatakot siya para sa akin ituro ang sisi."
Hinapit siya ni Paulite upang yakapin. Huminga ito nang malalim. Tahimik sila nang ilan pang sandali bago ito muling huminga nang malalim. "I can't invite my friend over here. I needed to secure your safety. J, we will postpone our wedding." He gently caressed her shoulder. "You understand me, right?"
Nanlamig ang tiyan niya. Tila ba may nakakabinging katahimikan ang pumailanlang sa kanyang sistema bago bigong tumango. Nalulungkot siya sa sitwasyon nila. Naiinis siya sa sariling kapabayaan. Naiinis siya sa mga nangyayari sa kanya. She already lost her father. And now Paulite marked her heart with his name. She only had him on her side. She won't let him leave her.
"J?"
Tumingala siya upang masdan ang nahahabag na mga titig ng binata. Hindi niya alam kung ano ang naglalaro sa isip ni Paulite. Maybe he is partially frightened to get married to her because she's a murderer. The brim of her eyes filled with unshed tears. Suddenly her heart tightened and it was painful. He is her only hope now.
"I have to go back in the Owl City," he said.
Lalong nanikip ang dibdib niya. Pumalupot ang kanyang mga braso sa baywang nito at yumakap nang mahigpit. Umiling siya. "No!" Hindi siya papayag na mawala ito sa tabi niya.
"J, kailangan kong personal na imbestigahan ito. Hindi ako papayag na madungisan ang pangalan mo." He held her both shoulder so he can take a look on her teary eyes. "I have to do something before it gets too late."
Muli ay rumagasa ang mga luha sa kanyang pisngi. Sa tana ng buhay niya, sanay siyang mag-isa. Pero ngayong aalis si Paulite, bigla ay hindi niya kaya. Tila ba muling nauulit ang pangyayari kahapon. She will lost him again. Pero sa pagkakataong ito, si Paulite ang bibitaw.
"Buo kitang pinakawalan, kaya buo ka ring babalik sa akin."
"I will definitely coming back, J. I will leave you my heart. It is just my body who will go, but my heart and soul is in your hands." Siniil siya nito nang halik. Halik na alam niyang pagpapaalam. Gaano katagal? Gaano siya katagal na maghihintay sa pagbabalik niya?
Nakayakap siya kay Paulite nang makatulog. At sa paggising niya ay wala na ito. Napuno ng takot, pangamba at pagkabalisa ang dibdib niya. Ang bigat ng pakiramdam niya. Tila may batong nakadagan sa kanyang puso at hindi siya makahiga ng maayos.
Gretta and Martin accommodate her for almost five days. She doesn't know how she survived but she did. Tumutulong siya sa trabaho ni Gretta sa umaga. Sa tanghali naman ay sinusundo siya ni Martin para magluto ng tanghalian nila. Kung minsan ay gumagawa sila ng miryenda at sumasama sa pangingisda. Nasanay siyang magtanim at mangisda.
Kasabay noon ang pangungulila kay Paulite. Wala siyang nabalitaan dito. Dinala kasi nito ang cellphone at laptop, wala siyang paraan para matawagan manlang ang kanyang mga kaibigan.
Kinalimutan mo na ba ako? Tanong niya sa sarili habang tinatanaw ang pagbabagong kulay ng dagat mula sa papalubog na araw. Ika-anim na araw na at wala pa rin siyang balita. Batong-bato na siya rito. Nagawa niya na ang lahat ng maaaring libangan. Surfing, skateboarding, biking at Jet Ski.
Huminga siya nang malalim. Kahit anong pilit kong maging masaya, mahirap talaga kapag mag-isa. Naalala niya ang pangalang Jessie Imperial. Sino ka? Kamukha ba talaga kita? Lumingon siya sa likuran nang makarinig ng yabag.
Si Gretta na palapit sa kanya. May kausap sa cellphone. "Okay. Eto, ibibigay ko na sa kanya."
Kinuha niya ang cellphone noong iabot nito. Pagsilip niya sa screen ay agad siyang napaipit ng hibla ng buhok sa tainga. "Lite?"
"Nabalitaan kong tumubo na ang tinanim mong mani. Congratulations, baby." He sounded tired, but the smile on his face covered it. The first three of his white button-down shirt unbuttoned and the checkered green bow-tie was lazily hanging on his neck. It made him hotter especially while lying on his bed. His hair is messy but it's fine. He is still hot. It will never fade.
She smiled. "I miss you."
The smile on his faded away. "I miss you too. I will call Gretta so I can speak with you every day."
"Why I can't have my own phone so you won't bother her."
"J, you know your case, right? Many people are hunting you down and I can't afford to lose you. Your safety is my priority."
Malungkot siyang tumango. "Kailan ka pupunta rito?"
Huminga ito nang malalim. "As long as I don't have a heavy proof that will clear your name, I am... I will send someone so you will not be bored. Is there anything you wanted me to buy for you?"
Saglit siyang natahimik. Naguguluhan kung bakit hindi masabi ng binata kung kailan ito makakabalik doon. "I don't need anything except you, Lite. Mag-iingat ka rin diyan."
Inilayo nito ang cellphone. She heard him groaned and muttered curses. She understood that he was struggling too. Just like her, he wants to stay on her side. But there were more important things to prioritize than to be together. This is fine, right? As long as they had this little conversation that justified their safety and longingness with one another. It's fine. She will wait for him until everything is clear. Until her name is clear from all the false accusation.
"I love you, J."
"I love you too," she almost breathes out.
He lazily stared at her on the screen. She's the same, she just savored that moment to memorize every corner of his face. Until his forehead creased.
"What are you wearing, J?"
"Bikini. I got bored... so, I do surfing," she answered.
He looked problematic. The scowl that never drew on his face for the first time etched. But then he heaved a sigh. Giving up, that this is the only hubby that she can do.
"Just be careful on the water, please, J."
"Opo."