Chapter 22: The Pain (4)

How can I live with this guilt that sneaks into my heart?

Even you brought me into your world

Then crave your name in my bone.

Cheng Sheng Lin

***

The heavy rain and thick haze is covering an area of the borderline. Cheng Sheng Lin feels something wrong like there is empty space in his heart. All this time, Cheng Sheng Lin knew that no one can survive after falling from the guardrail because there is a cliff over there so it is impossible for Li Jun Jie to still be alive. There is something that Cheng Sheng Lin can see about Li Jun Jie now. That stupid man has sacrifice his life just for fulfilled his promise to someone who had betrayed him. Is that stupid, right? But why that stupid man makes a hole in his heart together with the unknown pain. Cheng Sheng Lin's sword is still nestled on Li Jun Jie's body and Cheng Sheng Lin's sword will accompany that man forever.

Actually, Cheng Sheng Lin had tried his best to catch Li Jun Jie's body but he failed. Cheng Sheng Lin doesn't understand why this kind of pain can pierce his heart so deeply. He had killed a lot of people in his life. His hand is full of blood but now he killed Li Jun Jie who is a criminal and then why doesn't he feel right for the first time in his life? He did a good deed for the king's sake indeed but why can't this pain leave him? He witnessed when Li Jun Jie fell from the guardrail into the deep valley. Li Jun Jie's smile contains Cheng Sheng Lin's heart with the same pain when he gives orders to his armies to stop harm Yu Wen and Jia Ming Yue after they had killed his younger brother.

"Search his body now!" Chen Sheng Lin shouted as he gave order to his army. Deep down in his heart, Cheng Sheng Lin still hopes Li Jun Jie can survive but Cheng Sheng Lin knows it seems impossible.

Cheng Sheng Lin stepped forward in Yu Wen's direction. Yu Wen is kneeling after seeing Li Jun Jie fallen. His legs are trembling. He never thought if his young master would sacrifice his own life to save him and his sister. He never thought if Li Jun Jie fulfilled his promise to protect them.

All this time, Yu Wen know if Li Jun Jie is always fall in love with her sister but He never said anything to Li Jun Jie because he never trust Li Jun Jie as a man can protect Jia Ming Yue beside Jia Ming Yue is get close with Li Jun Jie just to manipulate him.

"Yu Wen, I will forget everything for his sake and both of you can go whatever you want! If I meet both of you in the future. I will make you pay for what you have done!" Cheng Sheng Lin said fiercely.

"Cheng Sheng Lin, you can kill me right now if you want and I will not go against you. ", Yu Wen said with his broken heart. All this time he never thought if Li Jun Jie would make him feel this feeling full of guilt.

Cheng Sheng Lin just smirking in front of Yu Wen. He can see what Yu Wen feel is not different from him. The word of guilty will be their punishment from now on.

"Yu Wen, I don't want to kill you and don't try to suicide because Li Jun Jie had given his own life for you and your sister. Look, your sister is waiting for you over there." Cheng Sheng Lin said while pointing at Jia Ming Yue who was waiting for her brother.

Cheng Sheng Lin doesn't know what happened but his heart is full of pain. His chest is so hurt for unknown reasons.

"Leave them! Red armies we will be coming back to the capital city!", He shouted at his armies.

"Yes, General!" His armies respond to his order.

"Cheng Sheng Lin, why don't you punish me right now!" Yu Wen shouted as he cried. Now he is begging for a big punishment but Chen Sheng Lin just stands in front of him and does nothing.

"Didn't I say that Li Jun Jie gave his life as a change for my brother's life? Don't you understand what it means? So now let your guilt be your everlasting punishment."

Yu Wen stayed there while kneeling in heavy rain. His guilt seized his heart after Li Jun Jie was his shield and when Jia Ming Yue came closer to help him to stand up, Yu Wen refused her. His tears mixed with the rain as if nature delivered the pain in his heart.

"Brother, don't become like this! Li Jun Jie had died. Why do you have to shed a tear for someone like him?!" Jia Ming Yue said in heavy rain as she kneels beside Yu Wen because she is worrying about his brother.

"Ming Yue, leave me alone! The hatred between our family and Li family had ended. So let me alone right now. I cannot go with you anymore." Yu Wen said as the tears still flowed together with the rain and the pain that he felt in his heart.

"Brother! Why do you have to do this?!" Jia Ming Yue shouted at her brother.

"Go! Leave me now!" Yu Wen said as he stared at his sister with a sharp gaze and made Jia Ming Yue so startled to see his brother had been changed along with Li Jun Jie's death. She doesn't have a choice except letting his brother be alone because she knows her brother will never go with her anymore.

As Cheng Sheng Lin decided to coming back to capital city with hole in his heart. He know Yu Wen still kneeling when he leaves them. Cheng Sheng Lin still insists on looking for Li Jun Jie's body but he knows there's no chance for Li Jun Jie to still be alive with severe injuries after he sacrificed himself to save him a few days ago.

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