Chapter 2: The Chaos In My Head
Damn, I overslept again, stupid alarm clock!
Hopefully the bossain't at the company today.
Otherwise, I can listen to his stupid teachings again.
As if you really will respect me. To you, I'm the coffee boy who takes care of all the little things for everybody.
Maybe I should have found another job after all. . .
But then I would have needed the help of my parents, and I'll never take that. It's too late for them to have anything to do with me. If the tax account had wouldn't exist they would not even know my mobile phone number let alone my adress.
Of course, that also had to go wrong.
What's the matter now? Stop bothering me, I won't take your calls. Give it up, the only thing I owe you is my birth. And who's calling at 7:00 in the morning, you're completely lost. Shit, I'm gonna have to hurry or my train leaves without me. No more time to shower, guess I'm gonna do it this evening.
Hah, just barely made it. Now it's time to walk through that Gates of Hell again and get tortured for 10 hours. I heard a new snack bar opened around the corner. I'll have to try it out during the break.
What's this mess? How can you put a printer together with a TV set in one category? What kind of brainless idiots were at work there? Well, at least the price and serial number are right. Then all I have to do is upload the software update and unlock it for everyone. Hopefully it's works this time, I don't want to hear the programmers yelling at themselves again.
...aaand THAT IS IT!"
Damn, just after 12:00, NOO my precious lunch break. The lost 10 minutes, I have to get them back somehow.
So, where exactly is the snack bar. . . oh there!
Thank God the queue is short, time is precious and food at work is forbidden.
What's on the menu for sandwiches? Chicken-Pastrami?. . . ok, I'll take that.
Who's calling now, Oh man, my super sister wants to know how her loser brother is doing. Don't get on my nerves and win another ten awards,competitions or whatever. I just don't care what she does anymore, so just leave me alone.
Almost finished...5 minutes then I am finally free. I did the shopping yesterday, so I can still go to the park.
Haah, finally arrived. Looks like yesterday's lady isn't coming in today.
But of course the two loudest dogs in the world had to come here again. That the owner doesn't even realize they're bothering everyone here. Probably he just doesn't care. . . carefree he walks around here again and sits down on the bench back there. Huh, I don't even know that sign yet. Looks like a children's playground's gonna be built here next year. Where's it supposed to go?
Don't you dare to remove the pond in front, the fish always fight for their food which looks quite interesting and funny.
Oh, what is it now? A text from an unknown number.
" - I haven't seen you in a while. Where'd you disappear to? Your parents and I are worried about you. We can eat ice cream again at the stand in front of our old school if you want. Soon there will be a summer party for all new graduates. The whole class is coming over, so you have to come aswell, it'll be fun. So let me hear from you or I'll send Aaron over and he'll drag you here. LOL -
<3 Lena <3
You got to be kidding me. Yet again another problem just came up...great!
After one year you want to have something to do with me again although you treated me like air before. Was it really about keeping your idiotic status as an icon.
"I can't hang out with the loser anymore or the girls will gossip behind my back."
It didn't bother you before, but suddenly I'm your only problem. How dare you write me something like that. You think you're better than anybody else? Fuck that stupid summer party, I was never really part of the class anyway. You should have known that, but you're mocking me. And the worst of all is Aaron. Every fucking time I was allowed to take punches for your sake and then you go out with him without even realizing what kind of person he really is?
Damn it, if I'd never been friends with you, I wouldn't have had to experience all this shit. Although I must thank you. Through you my eyes were opened again that the world is the biggest garbage heap. And you're part of this garbage, bitch!"
Actually, it would do me good to get rid of it, but it would just lead to more problems. Besides, it feels best to say it face to face.
Ah shit my mobile phone...nonono, dont lock yourself down."
It's getting dark. I still have to shower and make dinner.
Nice, this time I've done well with the casserole. Last time it was a disaster, I don't even want to think about it. Time to go to bed. Tomorrow I have to bring all the books back to the library otherwise there will be a reminder fee again. Wow, it seems like I totally forgot my birthday tomorrow. Well, I don't care anyway.
Haha, when I think about it, it's pretty ironic. At first you don't mean anything to them, but when you are suddenly no longer there, they worry about you and worry about you more. It's too late to make amends. My only wish is to be able to stay here alone undisturbed even if it is not the best life. Today it is raining calls and messages to care about me although in the past there was only silence at the dining table. Live your lives for yourselves and I live mine for myself. Going separate ways is probably the best thing for all. . .
Well, don't worry about it too much, it's wasted time anyway. Oh, I have an idea. To celebrate my birthday, I'll change my cell phone number tomorrow. That's a great plan, now I've even found something to look forward to. Now it's time for sleep, no desire to be overtired tomorrow.
What's the matter now? Where am I? I've never seen a completely white room before. But I can move freely. Finally I have dreams and lucid dreams on top of it. I've read a lot about them, but I never thought I'd ever get to see one. My efforts have paid off.
Oh, who is she and what does she look like? What's the matter with her face, does she have a genetic defect?
My hand? What does she want with my Han-- what the hell is that? Since when do I have a tattoo? What the hell's going on?
Where is she taking me now? Where did the door go and why is everything all black now? I don't get all this. Where did that gate come from?
Who the hell are these guys? I'm a general? It's a joke, all this is a fake. My mind is playing a trick on me.
Huh, how did he know what I was thinking?
What am I supposed to do now? If what he says is true is that I can make my life more exciting, should I get involved?
Fuck it, I got nothing to lose anyway. I do not know where this path will lead me, but I know that it is an opportunity that I must take.
What's going on now? I'm getting dizzy, they drugged me. My body's not doing what it's supposed to. Why does everything turn black now?
There's a voice behind me.
Who's that?
Was I imagining hit?
Somebody's sitting back there. . . why is he tied up and wearing a blindfold?
"Hello, at least say something. Can you understand me?"
After he didn't react, I took off his shackles. He turned around and took off the blindfold. When I looked into his eyes, I froze like I was the prisoner. Hundreds of pictures were racing past my head. Although I had never seen them before, they looked very familiar to me.
After this show was over, he took a knife and rammed it into my stomach. I couldn't believe what just happened. I looked anxiously at my belly which was still holding the knife. Shortly after he pulled it out, my blood splattered on the ground and formed a puddle.
"It is normal for human nature to fear death. In these moments, most people shine with their selfishness. Their own welfare comes first, only a few would sacrifice themselves for the person next to them. Whether madness or empathy, sacrificing oneself requires courage. And not only that: It also requires one's mind to be suppressed, at this moment everything works against human nature. These people are superhuman if only for a brief moment. "
"But you don't necessarily have to fear death or come to terms with it. You yourself are the best example of this. For an eternity we have studied death and practiced it ourself to eventually die on the inside. But don't worry, now I can finally fix us both. I'm a part of you that can show you that living isn't what it looks like. It may sound a bit crazy, but we're gonna die soon. "
I slowly lost consciousness, too much blood was flowing from the wound. I started coughing it up. But something forced me to stay awake.
"That's why you have to decide quickly. Shall your death be final or shall you become a part of death itself? All you have to do is accept me and free ourself."
I wanted to take his offer, it was the only way I could stay alive. I couldn't take the chance that it was all just a dream.
"All right, I accept you. Now, how do I stop the bleeding and stay alive?"
"By completing your work."
Suddenly I was filled with an incredible iron will and fighting spirit. It was like my whole body was made up of adrenaline. I got up without any problems although I was still bleeding heavily. Everything happened unconsciously and so fast that I couldn't follow. The next moment I picked up the bloody knife and rammed it right into his heart.
Very good...
Now watch and marvel, at last we are awakened from our sleep. Dreams shall become extinct as we unite."
Suddenly everything collapsed. The void shattered into individual glass fragments that fell to the floor. I opened my eyes at the sound of the impact.
Everything was different, I knew exactly what to do. Too much time had passed and our return was imminent.
I was back in the white room. Everything felt familiar and with every second more and more memories flowed into my head until after a short time I could think clearly for the first time.
The synchronization was complete and I experienced a truth that no one had ever thought possible.
My actual appearance showed itself. Black and white hair, red-yellow pupils and black full-body armor. That's my real self.
It felt so good, I recognized the power that I could access anytime I wanted to. Neither pride nor madness should befall me. My mind completely faded out, it acted like a shield. I was now one of the most dangerous creatures that ever existed. Unpredictable, powerful and free of any morals or laws.
The anticipation almost killed me, I wanted to test myself to the absolute limit.
My turn has finally come, I shall leave the whole world in shock.
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