Chapter 11: CHAPTER 11
FIVE YEARS LATER
THE INCIDENT WITH KEN CHANGED MY LIFE.
It changed the way I saw life, how I saw my family, it changed everything.
I managed to convince myself over the years that only the weak felt and 'to hell with me if I embraced weakness a second time! I blocked all feelings, I stopped believing in love, I stopped believing in life. I stopped feeling.
There was a time a guy I admired in school then asked me out and I had bluntly told him that I didn't believe in love or anything like it. I even tried convincing him that love did not exist. He looked at me like I was insane.
We were classmates in our senior year. I felt pity for him, he fell in love with a heartless Human. When he didn't want to listen to the obvious sense I was trying to make I walked out on him_ while whispering something along the lines of I'm sorry, forgive me.
It was not Like I cared if he forgave me or not though. Maybe I did_a tiny little care. It hurt me, saying that to him, watching him get hurt over something that was clearly not his fault, but I knew that there was no other truth than what I had told him.
He had been the head boy of my high school and girls loved him and flocked around him like bees to honey. I would have had the perfect highschool love story had I accepted him, but, I was too broken for it.
He wasn't the only guy that tried to date me, but he was the only one I paid attention to_only to chicken out just at the time I should have embraced him. I did lead him on.
I was a coward, but I would rather be one than to lie to myself that love exists only to get hurt in the end_ all I wanted was to believe that love did not exist. That's the only truth I wanted to accept.
It soon became harder to believe it as every day came to an end with me only existing not living. But I reminded myself over again that if my father didn't love me how much more another boy who wasn't my blood. My parents, they had too much hate between them.
I guess there was a time they loved each other and the love faded. Love was fickle. My brothers loved me, yes, but it wasn't enough to fill me, I still felt empty and void of love_they were only little so it was not like they had any other choice than to love me.
Believing love didn't exist seemed to be the only thing that could save me from people like Ken. The only thing I wasn't sure of was if I wanted to be saved.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone