Chapter 21: I Was A Child
Many days had passed since I had freed Loki, and I hadn't seen him since.
I expected this, but at the same time, I couldn't accept it. Everywhere I went, I looked for him, every time I experienced something new, I would call out to him. But he was not there. Not anymore. And this created an hole in my heart which grew wider by the day.
Looking at my school uniform, a dress that stopped a little bellow the knees with leggings underneath and ridding boots, in the mirror only one thought crossed my mind...
"Hey Loki, what do you think?" I said turning around as if to face him.
When I saw that he wasn't there's I sighed and said, "not again..."
I turned back to the mirror to observe myself, but this time, my expression was grim.
I didn't want to go to school.
But thinking this in itself made me feel as if I was a child.
Here, going to school was a privilege for girls. Boys started school when they were young, getting taught politics, sciences, maths, etc. but girls had to wait until they got their abilities.
That in itself annoyed me to no end, considering how school was in my other world, but on the other hand, I knew that this was only for the nobles. Commoners didn't even get the chance to go to school. Instead, they just inherited their family trade, if they had one. Meanwhile the children of the slums became thrives, mercenaries or beggars.
Loki didn't go to school. He was around 12 when he had taken him in. Well passed the age boys usually went to school but Gerald educated him in many things.
I was sure Loki had once craved to go to school as normal. He was born nobility. A bastard but still nobility.
Loki...
I shook my head and frowned. Everything that passed through my head was Loki this, Loki that. I couldn't take it anymore.
Then, something crossed my mind. I slowly began to bring my hand to my forehead. But before I could put my hand on it, there was a knock at the door.
I immediately put my hand down.
"Who is it?" I asked simply.
"It's me darling," Shahira's voice came to my ears.
I walked over to the door, and unlocked it.
I didn't usually lock my door but after Loki had left I just wanted some alone time.
As soon as I had unlocked the door, Shahira walked in, a curious and slightly worried expression on her face but she masked it quickly as she looked at the uniform.
"You're very beautiful, my darling." Shahira said as she touched my shoulder gently.
"Thanks." I said softly.
"You don't need to thank me darling, it's true." Shahira said with a low voice, not knowing what else to say to me. Ever since Loki had left, she didn't want to mention him to me at all.
A long pause followed. Feeling quite awkward and knowing I was the one causing this awkwardness I plucked up some confidence and spoke.
"I'm going to finish packing soon
For most nobles, packing and tedious things were left to the maids and other servants but when it came down to the Ashington family, Shahira had forced upon both me and Kyril a certain ethic. As the daughter of a general, Shahira was raised doing everything herself and she found satisfaction in this. Though knowing she was in a different land with different customs she had made me and Kyril do things on our own but with help.
Thinking of this I found it a bit strange. Shahira seemed so modern. Were all Anwarian's the same? If I got a chance to meet someone else from Anwar I would made sure to investigate.
Maybe if I survived these few years, after Kyril takes his position as Duke Ashington and Ellie becomes Queen, I would move there and have a simple happy life.
For now that was all I wished for...
As I thought this I was spaced out and Shahira had already spoken but I hadn't heard her.
The last thing I head her say was, "...I'll be going."
Hearing this, I swiftly said, "Wait, I'm sorry. Can you say that again?"
Shahira: "Hilda will be over to help you pack, I said. I'll be going now."
I nodded this time.
Before leaving, Shahira stopped at the door and said, "Chin up my darling, even if Loki isn't here for now, I'm sure he'll come back to you..."
Her sentence ended in a way where I knew she wanted to say more to me. Much more but she stopped herself.
But frankly, even if she did, I knew that she wanted to her.
Loki would come back because he loved me.
I knew this. Even if Loki had never specified this himself.
Would he ever tell me this himself? He probably wouldn't. I was engaged to be married now. And he was no longer a noble. He probably thought we belong to two worlds...
My heart aches at the though.
***
Hilda was one of two maids who tended to me personally. She was kind and sweet but she never spoke to me. Sometimes I wondered if she could speak.
As I watched her grab dresses from my dresser and lay them upon my bed, I half concentrated on packing and half wondered if I should start a conversation with her.
I had never been around either Hilda or my other maid for long. And if they were with me, Loki would be here and his presence would overshadow everyone's.
But now I had to deal with life without him and now, being alone with Hilda, made me realize how awkward I could be.
It was different when I was at the ball. There, I had an objective so there was no time to be shy but now, I was just experiencing real life and a dread began to grow from the pit of my stomach.
"Young Miss," I suddenly heard a airy voice call my name.
With obvious shock on my face, I looked towards Hilda who held up two extremely fancy dresses.
"Which would you like to bring?" Hilda said calmly, almost ignored my shock.
I paused for a second. It was strange but I felt as if her voice was coming from my head. But realizing I was being rude I said, "The dark red one."
Hilda packed it gently into my suitcase.
For the most part I would need to wear the uniform to class but there would be society parties and dances there which were mandatory to attend so I needed a few classy dresses.
It didn't take long until we were done packing. Hilda spoke a bit, but probably only to ease my mood.
When we were done, Hilda bowed to me and she was about to leave but I stopped her.
"Uh... who will be coming with me to the academy?" I asked a bit awkwardly, still unsure if I should speak or not.
"Probably Merida." Hilda said calmly. "She would be best suited to work as your personal maid."
Right when she said that I noticed something strange. Hilda's voice really was coming from my head. But not only that, but her mouth movements were a bit out of sink with the words.
I paused for a moment.
"Ah..." I said accident.
She's a telepath... those words shot through my mind.
A part of me though she was going to hear me but Hilda didn't react at all, this made me frown. But with my sudden change of mood, Hilda looked up to me and said,
"Is something wrong, Young Miss." She said continuing to move her mouth as best as she could.
"Hilda... can we have a talk." I said simply. A small smile on my lips.
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