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Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Adam

I was here before men were men. I was here before words were words. I existed before humankind knew he was above the dog and before he conceived the notion or need of a god. I walked upright as others crouched and scurried and for this I became a king, of sorts. But I, too, hid from the light in the sky that shown in the dark. I ate as your "John the Baptist" did, but I did so because it was the only way I knew. I saw fire but did not know what it was or how to make it. I knew many women and sired many young.

I died in the jaws of terrible beast and came to this land of endless wakefulness. Eventually others came. We existed, silently, for years beyond reckoning. Then a new kind of spirit came. A loud and chaotic spirit. His thoughts pierced the silence with sounds I did not recognize but came to understand over the decades, then centuries, then millennia.

I can speak as a man, but I am not a man. They call me Adam, but that is only a name given to me by tiresome men who must name all things they see. My mother spoke my true name with her hands. I could hear it as she groomed me when I was a young one or as she pulled me out of harm's way when my father sought to kill me. My father spoke my true name with his contempt. I heard it as he strove to tear me apart because I was not like his other offspring. My enemies spoke my true name through fear and respect. I heard it as I towered above many a cowering foe in attack or mere warning. My women spoke my true name through obedience. I never needed words, but only a look to convey my desires.

I am nameless to those who use words, but I know my true name, spoken without words. I can speak as a man, but I am not a man. A man is noise, chaos, smoke with no fire. Sound for the sake of sound. His creations have clogged the earth with refuse and now the din of his kind's thoughts and words clog this place. I find words to be useless. My kind thrived without them. But now one word is repeated behind my eyes, day and night. Oblivion. Oblivion. Oblivion.


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