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Chapter 4: Chapter 4

It was Saturday, and I didn't have any extra class as I usually had, so I stayed at home. Mom was gone with her friends for a sudden meeting, and she would come home by midnight since the meeting was held next town. All that I did at home was cleaning the house. You know, it's good to practice being a mother. Doing all that cleaning stuffs. But not cooking. I didn't feel like cooking at the moment, though actually I could do it.

As I finished cleaning the house, I opened my German book. I studied hard to understand German grammar. I looked up my dictionary as well when it came to a really confusing lesson. There was a thesaurus in the dictionary. Well, I loved this book. Mom suggested me to buy it and yeah, she was right for choosing this dictionary.

While I was studying, my phone rang. But it wasn't a call but a message.

----

Do you have some free time today, Cass?

Cody.

----

'What does he want to do with me? Will he come over and teach me German?' I thought inside my heart.

I texted him back and told him that I was free. Then he didn't text me back.

Not long after that, I heard my house bell rang. It was a dog-barking bell. Well, when strangers came, they would think that there was a dog inside the house.

I ran down the stairs and went to the front room of my house. I almost tumbled but I held on the wall and got back straight.

"Yes?" I opened the door and saw the one who just texted me. "Cody? How could you be here so fast?"

"Because I was already here when I texted you," he told me.

"And you're coming to.." I didn't finish my words deliberately.

"To visit you," he replied.

"Visit me? Why?"

"Cass, I've been standing here for about ten minutes and the sun has burned my skin, so--"

"Oh," I giggled. "I'm sorry. Come in." I opened the door wider and gave him a space to walk in.

He was wearing a red jumper and blue denims that made him look bright. His blond hair was neat as always. Well, I could see he had applied some hair gel.

He sat on a couch facing south and I sat across.

"I just want to check if you need my help," he answered my unanswered question.

"Need your help?" I frowned.

"I'm your partner in German class, remember?" he reminded me.

"But, you said that I should go with the flow--"

"That's why I'm here," a cheerful tone was heard from his mouth.

I shook my head. "I don't understand," I said.

He only smiled. "Where's your mom?" he asked.

It was not the response I wanted to hear from him. "She has a meeting with her friends out of town," I answered.

He nodded.

Even though Cody was my ex, and he was a partner of mine in this German assignment, at the moment I truly didn't want to be with him – not because I hated him, but just because I wanted to focus on German. Nonetheless, he was still a guest. I had to treat him well.

"Wait here. I'll be right back," I left him alone in the living rome and rushed to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and poured an apple juice that I made this morning into it – well, it was his luck – then I put it on a tray and went back to the living room. I put the glass together with the tray on the table.

"What's this?" he asked.

"An apple juice," I replied.

"Looks delicious," then he took the glass and sipped it. "Who made it?"

"I did," I replied.

"Cool. You'll be a great mother," he said, and he sipped again. Then he put the glass back on the table. "Cassy,"

I turned to him again after I checked the wall clock and realized that it was only ten in the morning. "Yeah?" I responded.

"I'm doing you a favor," he looked deep into my eyes,

"Yeah?"

"so, would you do me a favor too?" he looked deeper into my eyes.

"And what favor is that?"

He didn't answer. He was only looking at me.

"Cody, now you're creeping me out," I leaned my back against the couch. "Stop it now."

He stopped staring at me and burst into laughter. "Sorry," he said. "It was so funny looking you are scared like that. Sorry."

I didn't laugh. I didn't understand why he did that 'funny' thing to me. Yeah, at least he said it was funny.

However, despite his behaving weird at the moment, I could see him just like the way I used to when I was his girlfriend. He was so gentle, but he was so funny too. He was warm and so caring.

"Cass, Cassy," he woke me up from musing.

"Okay, so I was thinking of the real reason why you're visiting me," I hid the fact that I had been musing about him.

"Well, let me just go straightforward," he said. "I want you to sing for me."

"Sing for you?" it became weirder than before.

He moved forward but still sitting on the couch. "Here," he started, "I'm joining a competition. It is a music video competition. I'm doing a cover of a song 'Have Your Way' by Britt Nicole, do you know the song?"

I nodded.

"and I know I'm not that good at singing, but you are, so please, help me by singing for me?"

I was thinking for a while. Cody was doing me a favor in German. He even took the class he should not take. Was there any reason for me to refuse to help him? He had been so good to me.

"So, how could I help you?" I asked.

"You want to help me? Oh, thank you, Cass!" he cried joyfully. His dimples appeared. I liked to see them adorned his face.

"Okay, no prob," I responded with a shrug. "And when will we start?"

He snapped his fingers. "I have a mini studio in my house, and we can record your voice there," he told me.

"A mini studio? You mean like the musical instruments, recording app, and the else? Oh that's really cool!" I burst into joyful noise.

I did love singing. I did love everything about music. I had this from my dad. He was so into it. He was the best singer and pianist in his time. Well, it's just, I couldn't spend much time with him to jam since he worked in a faraway land.

After Cody sipped the juice to the last drop, I headed towards his house. I didn't want anyone that I didn't know break into this lovely house of ours.

I arrived at Cody's house. His parents greeted me as I showed up in front of them. They still considered me as his girlfriend too, just like Mom did. Well, not Dad. He didn't know that much. He only knew once I had boyfriend. I asked why Cody didn't tell them, and he answered that it was because he had no time to tell them. That didn't make sense to me. I thought I had a better reason, since Mom was burderned with lots of things.

With the permission of his parents, I came into his room. It was the first time. When I had been his girl, I had never stepped into this room.

There were two parts in his room. Though it didn't look like originally parted, but yeah, it still looked quite wide. One side was his bedroom, with the whole boy stuffs hanging on the wall and laid on the bed -- I couldn't tell what they were -- and the other side was a mini studio.

The studio was nice. The wall was covered with some red thick carpets as the sound silencer. It felt so cozy being there. If I had had this in my house, I would have stayed longer at my room and perhaps not even gone out. Except for campus, of course.

"Since when did you have all this?" I asked. I was still amazed by the room.

"You like it?" he asked me back.

I nodded.

"The day after we broke up "

I turned to him as I heard the phrase 'broke up' which was rather sensitive.

"I started to save money," he explained. "I've been dreaming of being a successful musician."

"You didn't tell me anything about it when we were," I paused a while before saying the next word, "together."

He was doing something with his computer which I guessed would be used for the recording. "I wanted to do it, but before I did it, we broke up," he said without looking at me.

"Yeah," was the only respond that I could give.

"It's ready," he turned to me. "Get the microphone. Make yourself comfortable there and put on the headphone."

I did what he said. I settled myself on a high glossy armless chair, put on the headphones and set the microphone right before my mouth.

He gave me a sheet of paper where the lyrics of Have Your Way written, in case I forgot the lyrics. He told me to get ready after he raised his thumb up.

I was listening to the music he had arranged. It was an acoustic one but it is so beautiful.

Feels like I've been here forever

Why can't You just intervene?

Do You see the tears keep falling

And I'm falling apart at the seams

But You never said the road would be easy

But You said that you would never leave

And You never promised that this life wasn't hard

But You promised you take care of me

So I stop searching for the answers

I'll stop praying for an escape

And I'll trust You God with where I am

And believe that You will have Your way

Just have You way...

"Just have Your way, yeaaah," I ended my singing. I didn't realize that tears were streaming down my cheeks at the end of the song.

Cody approached me and he gave me a ply of tissue.

"Sorry, I couldn't hold it," I said. "Did I make the recording bad?"

He shook his head. "I love it. It sounds really natural. It comes from your heart," he convinced me. "I was expecting such emotion, and then you did it."

I smiled and held the wet tissue.

"Thank you, Cassy," he gently touched my shoulder. "You're great."

"It's me who should thank you," I wiped my tears.

He moved a chair, similar to the one I was sitting on, and sat in front of me. "What's the matter, Cass?" he asked. "You can tell me anything."

I nodded and broke into tears again. "Cody," I wanted to tell him, but then I couldn't. I was crying. "I miss my dad."

He didn't say a word. He caressed my left shoulder. He tried to comfort me.

I managed my breath. I tried to tell him. "I miss the life that I used to have when my dad was still here. I miss the fun and joy spending my time with him and mom together. I miss seeing them caressing each other," finally I can say it.

"Cassy," he called my name gently. "God has His way. You only need to believe." He held my hands.

I nodded repeatedly and said to him, "Thank you so much."

"Anytime, Cassy," he said.

It was the moment when I was so encouraged. I was so upset, because the burdens inside my heart were piling up higher each time but I didn't tell Mom about it. I didn't dare to. It was hard enough to see her looking at dad's pictures and sometimes weeping. It felt like Dad wouldn't come back, but he could do it. It's just, I didn't know when. I prayed to God that there would be a way to make him back again to us.

My mind recalled the memory when Dad argued with Mom over a little thing. I didn't know what it was. Day by day, the argument became bigger and bigger and in one of those days, they fought. It was a really big one. I was watching them from the upper floor and I couldn't do anything. I saw Dad left with a big suitcase and never came back ever since. A year later, I heard Dad lived in Detroit and he had a great job. I felt glad for him, but at the same time, sad.

Cody was such a great friend, and would always be. I was so grateful to have him. I thanked God for this.

"Feeling better?" he asked me.

I nodded.

"Now, let me drive you home," he stood up. "I think you might need a rest."

I nodded again.

I left his house without his parents knowing. I didn't want them to see that I had been crying. Cody drove me home and left me there alone waiting for Mom to go back home.

//IABOG//


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