Chapter 3: Memory Siphon
I had trouble sleeping after the fiasco at the book signing. After taking care of the Weasleys, I managed to slip away unnoticed for the most part. Luckily Lockhart had dreamless sleep potion on hand.
I sat at the table enjoying breakfast and tea. Some people think food tastes better after they make it themselves. I definitely think food tastes better when someone else makes it.
That might just be because I suck at cooking.
Having a house-elf is kind of awesome though.
Actually, I might not suck at cooking anymore. I mentally navigate my system menus reviewing yesterday's gains.
A book now floated in my mindscape. Wandering with Werewolves. I only seemed to have unlocked three chapters. I equated chapters to levels. The book was at level three.
With the chapters of the book I obviously gained new stats and skills that seems to correspond with the contents of the books. This means that I don't have to be a total sham. I can be the Lockhart that Gilderoy actually claimed to be. I will just need more SBP.
There is something more interesting. I examine a specific set of changes in my menu.
+8 Cooking
(+10 when making corned-beef sandwiches)
+7 Knitting
+9 Household Spells
These skills don't match the rugged outdoorsman wizard skills of Wandering with Werewolves. However, the dog eared book belonged to Mrs. Weasley. The system message said specifically Siphoning Memories.
Memories, memories...
So, I have a theory. But I will need other people's old crap to test it.
I am incognito right now. Sunglasses and a ball cap. It's a bit muggle, but I don't want to be recognized. I'm hitting up a second-hand wizarding shop.
I first go to the bin of one galleon wands. They're piled in haphazardly. I see bits of unicorn hair or phoenix feathers sticking out of a few.
I grab a wand. No menu pops up. I grab another. There's nothing. Is my assumption wrong?
I full-on rummage through the wands.
Memories detected. Siphon? 100 SBP
I clutch the wand in my hand carefully inspecting it. The wand is so old the finish is almost all peeled away. The wand itself is even littered with scars with a crack running the length of the wood.
"Yes," I whisper.
Uncommon Memories Unlocked: Winston Lubberford the Defender
+7 Protego
"YEEEEESS!" I shout at the top of my lungs causing an old woman to shout in fear.
Ding
+1 Shameless Bastard Points
---------------------------------------------
Miranda appears, angry as usual. She throws a paper in my face.
"I've been trying to floo you all day," she snaps.
"And what's this?" I say lifting the paper from my face.
"The afternoon edition of the Daily Prophet," she says between clenched teeth.
Lockhart Deranged in Second-hand Shop! Wealth in Ruins!?
There is a photo of me in my ball cap and sunglasses rummaging through the bins, shiftily looking from side to side.
"That wasn't me," I say.
She crosses her arm again. "Then where pray tell, did all of this come from?"
She gestures to the load of crap I bought and have strewn across the kitchen table. "Just a bit of spring cleaning," I say.
She smiles sarcastically. "At the start of fall, yes? And, I'm sure with all this time to clean, you've finished the first draft for your manuscript?"
"I haven't even started teaching yet," I say. "You know my next book will be all about exploring Hogwarts. I've been to Africa, to Transylvania, and now I will uncover the secrets of our very own Hogwarts."
"You missed the last three deadlines. And scandals aren't the way to get attention," she says losing steam.
"How about the duel? It's one thing to read about the Lockhart prowess in books. It's another thing to see it live in action. Where's the paper for that?"
Mollified somewhat she sits at the table trying flipping through some of the books. "It was in the morning paper."
I am starting to wonder just how many times a day they release this paper. "What was that yesterday?" she asks. "Did you really do the things he said?"
"Of course not," I say with complete seriousness and no hesitation. Lockhart did it!
She seems relieved. "You're looking stressed Miranda. Here have some biscuits and tea," I say bringing over a variety of biscuits. Currant, shortcake, ginger, chocolate, strawberry, and every other kind of biscuit I've never heard of.
"My, what's the occasion? Poppy's certainly been busy."
I smiled. "Not Poppy, no. I decided to make them myself. I gave the old girl a little vacation cleaning the attic."
"No," she says taking a bite of biscuit. Her eyes widen and pupils dilate.
I have gotten a few new skills. "Yes, really. It's quite dusty up there." She gives me a look. "I made them yes. It's not all sword fights and wand duels for me. I like to get up to creative things as well. Very sensitive."
"Don't worry about the manuscript Miranda. At Hogwarts I'm certain I'll have all kinds of new material," I say. "Just relax for now," I say leaning over to massage her shoulders. She lets out a soft moan.
Lots of new skills.
She jumps to her feet whacking me in the face with her skull and knocking the chair to the floor. "Ohhh, I'm on to you Lockhart," she shouts. "Don't even get a-any ideas in that head of yours," she stutters backing up toward the fireplace only to whirl around and escaping back through the floo.
"I think that went well," I say looking over my items.
Lockhart made a career from stealing memories. How appropriate that my system can do the same. It doesn't work for every item. My theory is the stronger the feelings or memories associated with the items, the more likely I can siphon from them.
Even visiting every second-hand shop and antique store for miles, I hardly found any items containing anything worthwhile.
If I got my hands on Gryffindor's sword...
There's no telling what kind of skills or even new ability points I could get. I was lucky when I first arrived to get as many shameless bastard points as I did. Lockhart's works seem to be more special than regular items, but the cost is too steep for now. I'm sure there rarer the grade of the items, the cost will also increase.
Wandering with Werewolves was actually the cheapest of Lockhart's books.
Skill points, spells, ability points. I need them all.
Maybe I should just streak through Diagon Alley and London while I'm at it?
But Miranda wouldn't be happy...
"Alrighty then. Time to grind."
Cue montage:
Quality Quidditch Supplies - test ride every broom in the store but don't buy anything.
Flourish and Blotts - stand in the corner and read an entire book without buying it.
Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor - insist on taste-testing every ice cream flavor, and once again buy absolutely nothing.
Slug and Jiggers Apothecary - sneeze on ingredients, walk away.
Madam Malkins - sully robes, apparate to safety.
Eeylops Owl Emporium - ask to cuddle a kneazle but then scream in terror and throw it at the clerk.
And for good measure, drink far too much prune juice, and wander through muggle London wearing an invisibility cloak and letting out rancid farts.
Ding Ding Ding Ding..............................
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Miranda?" I say.
"I'm quite certain," she says giving me a shove. "There are only a few days until you leave for Hogwarts, and this is the foremost teacher's conference in all of Britain."
Isn't there only one magical school anyway? It's probably also the only magical teacher's conference...
"I'm Gilderoy Lockhart. I've got the skills to back up the theory," I say in protest.
"Lord Malfoy himself will be there, and many experts in their respective fields. There will be cameras," she says in a sing-song voice. "Lord Malfoy is even auctioning some antiques to raise money for Hogwarts quidditch supplies. I know you've been interested in old things lately."
I roll my eyes. "Fine, fine, I'm going," I say.
It's just a teacher's conference after all. What could possibly go wrong?
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DaoOfSystems I used to wish there were more HP fan-fics on this site...but now there may actually be too many. I'm making things up as I go... I'm sure I'll come up with something
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