Chapter 5: The Invisible Man
"My name is Pond, Thames Pond."
Considering Isbrand's usual clientele, the smart suit worn by the man sitting opposite him in his office at that moment was rather unusual.
"Good to meet you, Mr.Pond," Isbrand held out a single grubby hand for Pond to shake.
A gloved fist shook his hand, "Let's cut to the chase, Mr.Venczel, I'm sure you are a man of business, as I am."
"Actually," Isbrand corrected, "I am a man of cheetos, lots and lots of cheetos."
"If we are discussing our business snacks, I would like a martini, shaken, not stirred." Pond dusted the biscuit crumbs,which had transferred over from Isbrand's hand, off his glove.
"No, no, far from it," Isbrand gestured to a corner of his small and untidy office, "Do you see that?"
"The shrine dedicated to the cartoon rainbow cat?"
"My god, Pond, that's my god."
Isbrand smirked on the inside.
He burped on the outside.
He could see that he was beginning to get Pond riled up. He cracked his knuckles loudly and said, "So what can I do for you, Lake?"
"Pond," Pond corrected.
"Bond," Isbrand shot back.
A gloved hand smacked down onto that table, "How dare you compare me to that fake!"
Isbrand patted his bald head, leaving orange traces of cheeto-dust where his hand touched the man.
"I thought you wanted to cut to the chase, Seine, why are you the one dawdling… if you need your lips loosened, I have a little friend who can help with that." Isbrand said menacingly.
Pond clearly felt more used to the veiled threats than he had to the cheetos, and he was able to calm himself down, cool in the face of the menacing villain of this mission.
The villain wearing a waifu area 51 t-shirt.
A vein bulged in Pond's head.
"Yes, Venczel, business. Now I'm sure you must be wondering what a suave gentleman of the secret service could possibly want with you." he spat out the last word of his sentence as if Isbrand's very existence was the worst thing that he could possibly imagine in the world.
"Not really," Isbrand crunched down on his doritos with his mouth wide open, spittle and itty bitty bits of dorito flying everywhere.
Pond yelped as a half-eaten dorito landed squarely on his nose.
Isbrand picked his nose and then reached a hand out to shake Pond's, "Whatever you want, I'm your guy! Whether you need a fence fixed or some pence picked from a pocket, I'm your mildly disgusting man for the job!"
Pond stared, "Why do you think people hire you?" he asked.
"For my charming personality and stunning looks?" Isbrand said, before wiggling his eyebrows at Pond.
"Because you can turn INVISIBLE, you miserable excuse of a human being!" Pond snapped back, "And CLEARLY that is the only reason why any normal human being would ever interact with your miserable lifeless existence!"
"Now now, there is NO need to yell," Isbrand raised his hands in the classic sign of a surrender.
"This is the man I want you to trace, the money will be in your account by tomorrow, now GOODNIGHT, and GOODBYE… kind sir," Pond gritted out, before getting up so violently, his chair was thrown back into the wall behind him, causing a small burst of plaster from the cheap wall.
Pond spun around and slammed the door open, intending to leave.
That was when he was hit with the tazer and the elbow to the jaw. The agent collapsed ungracefully, as a true villain appeared out of thin air. Suit-clad, debonair, everything that Pond had hoped for from Isbrand Venczel.
"Well done Joe," the real Isbrand said to the fat man munching on doritos, before tossing him a rolled up hundred dollar bill.
"Buy yourself another bag of chips or something."
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone