Chapter 41: Going through grief
Gold sat there frozen at the sight of Gaia and Alaya bowing towards him. Gilgamesh sat on the side, watching with a bit of amusement. For the two girls who were still bowing their heads, it was a tense moment as they were actually afraid of the being in front of them.
"Ughh." Gold finally groaned out a sigh while palming his face. "You don't have to worry, I did not come here with the intention of destroying the world or wiping out humanity." He finally stated. While the two girls didn't outwardly react, they were inwardly relieved.
"Could you please return our authority?" Alaya asked first much to Gold's confusion.
"What do you mean?" He asked, unaware of what he had done.
"You took away our power over everything." Gaia explained.
Gold seemed to be in deep thought for a moment as Gaia and Alaya were afraid he would refuse. In reality he was sifting through extra part of his older memories of his past self that bled through last night, trying to understand what he had done.
Each Aversis are not the same person. The 280 Aversis in the multiverse were originally separate people from another omniverse that survived The Final Calamity, which caused the end of their own omniverse. Each soul that was able to survive were incredibly powerful cultivators, unfortunately their souls were dying after being ripped through the divide between realms. So all of them had merged with a piece of the Will of Aversis like a symbiotic bond to continue existing.
The only side effects that came with carrying on Aversis's Will was being forced to have Aversis in their names, some odd traits like being bias towards ice magic and cat girls. Sometimes they would get an odd itch to dance out of nowhere and their bodies would convert to Aversis blood. Small things that weren't so bad, but the main thing Aversis were afraid of was their past selves. The reincarnated Aversis consider themselves different people from their past selves, making them hesitant of merging in fear of losing their current selves.
In Gold's time of sifting through some memories of his own past life, he became afraid of himself. He was an insane prick who took over realms and remade them into his own 'Golden' image. The amount of people he's killed and the amount of worlds he ended made him a little sick. Granted he wasn't exactly a good guy himself, but it was still a bit much for him.
So he drank and got high out of his mind to forget. Unfortunately since last night, a large portion of the memories had been showing up in his mind again.
"Hold on a moment." Gold raised a hand as he took puff from his elder blunt. Then he widened his eyes and looked down. He didn't feel anything, normally he'd get at least a little buzzed from that but nothing happened.
Before panic could set in, he took a bottle from the gate and downed it. HE FELT NOTHING.
As a last resort, a syringe dropped from the gate into his palm. The others in the room looked oddly at the blonde's attempt to make himself high out of his mind. As if he had done it hundreds of times in the past, Gold expertly jammed the syringe right into his vein.
Seconds passed.
"HUANGJIN YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Gold roared out the name of his past self with pure hatred as his eyes flashed golden rays in response to his rage.
The two formerly strongest beings in the nasuverse actually became afraid and hid behind Gilgamesh's comfy chair like children during one of their parent's outbursts.
"I take it you are no longer capable of inebriating yourself." Gilgamesh calmly observed as he noticed Gold failing to get drunk or high.
Gold didn't respond to him as he dropped everything he was carrying. He shakily fell back on the bed, staring at his arms in disbelief. "FUCK FUCK FUCK..." he repeated the curse like it was going out of style.
Gilgamesh silently watched Gold as he went through several stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression. However he didn't seem to get to acceptance yet.
∞
Why does this have to happen to me.
I don't want to remember. All the indignant voices of the people that I've slaughtered, cursing me.
I don't want to remember. All the pain and regrets that I've accumulated over the epochs.
I don't want to remember. My ultimate failure to stand against the end.
All I've done, all the good and evil. All the power and enlightenment. Meaningless.
"Have you not wallowed in your own despair long enough?" I raised my dry eyes to glare at Caster for a moment. However before lashing out, I held my tongue, what's the point of even trying?
"I believe that I've pieced together enough to make my own conjectures." Gilgamesh continued speaking as I didn't look at him and brought my head back down to my knees.
"As the benevolent and wise King of Uruk, I shall be generous and offer some of my own wisdom should you desire it."
"I don't need a therapist." My muffled voice sounded out as I didn't move from my curled up position.
For a moment I felt two gauntlets grip my shoulders. I moved my head up again to glare at Gilgamesh, only to freeze as my gray eyes came into contact with Rong's. It was hard to say anything as they both looked at me with concern.
"If not for yourself, then I suggest you think of those who would be forced to waste time worrying over your unsightly appearance." Gilgamesh spoke again as I stopped to think about it. There's nothing I can change about the fact that my past self took away my ability to get high or drunk.
I don't want the people I'm close to back in DXD to see me like this. The way both Rongs are looking at me sort of makes my heart ache.
"Maybe just a bit then." I relented.
HOURS OF THERAPY LATER
"How do you feel now?" Gilgamesh asked as we wrapped up our session.
"Like shit. But thanks for listening." I sincerely thanked him for listening to my hours of ranting.
"What will you do from now on?" he asked curiously
"I guess I'll just find some other ways to distract myself for now." If I can't repress myself with my old methods, then I'll find another. Maybe I'll ask some of my alternates for tips and insights on how they repress their past selves.
"Anyway Gaia, Alaya. Come over here." I called out to the two girls that had been hiding behind Gilgamesh's couch this whole time.
They slowly made their way to me, I guess they were still hesitant because in this universe I was technically all powerful at the moment. My past self had overwritten the world by accident last night and put me in charge instead of these two.
I placed my palms over their heads, as I focused on the five words that I hated. "All things return to gold." My eyes turned golden for a moment as I returned their authority. I really hate those words.
"Be good now." I told the two girls who bowed to me again in thanks.
"Bye." they departed as their bodies disappeared.
"Fuahahaha, to think that you would simply relinquish your control just like that." Gilgamesh shook his head.
"Well actually, I still basically have admin priviledges in this world." I clarified as I actually didn't relinquish control over the nasuverse, just allowed the two to have their authority back.
"Oh?"
"Yep, as of right now. I am the rules!" I pointed to the sky as I unconsciously posed.
"Now let's go mess with people." It was time to find other hobbies.
∞
Zouken didn't understand what was going on. One moment he was in his bedroom, and the next he was in his workshop within the basement. However nothing was where it was supposed to be, he had been slowly manuevering through the maze-like basement. A maze that was not here before.
He could still feel his connection to his worms, but he could not pin-point exactly where they were. Nor could he control them, it was as if someone had overridden his command over them.
After what felt like hours of traversing through the maze, he had finally found the stairs leading out of his basement. Zouken looked up with his dark eyes and narrowed them at the figure that stood at the top of the stairs. The door was wide open behind him, and a peculiar fog was steadily flowing out of it. Getting a proper look, Zouken recognized the man.
"So we finally meet, Gold Aversis." Zouken called out his name. He had recognized the man from the battle last night. He had been watching, yet he was unsure of why he was here. Kariya had already lost berserker, so their participation in the war was no more.
"Congratulations, Zouken. You've finally made your way through the maze, and made your way to the exit." Gold clapped his hands slowly. He still had complete control over this world, so he screwed with reality and made a maze for Zouken to troll him.
"Hm, for what reason have you come for me? My failure of a son is already out of the war after you had defeated his servant."
"Hehehahaha." Gold chuckled softly, yet it was loud enough to audibly echo through the stairway. "I shall give you a chance. Go down two steps, and I'll allow you to serve me. But if you'd rather die, then climb those stairs." Gold gave an infuriating smirk, much to the old worm's ire after hearing his ultimatum.
"Let me tell you something boy. While I admit, my family has fallen from grace compared to it's former years. Perhaps when I had foolishly entrusted the next generation was when I had truly become a loser." Zouken stared straight at Gold with cold eyes. "And now you stand here, trampling upon the pride of this magus? Did you believe I would fear you simply because you were capable of defeating a Servant!?" He wasn't sure why, but he felt an oddly powerful will to fight Gold. Normally he wasn't this talkative, he didn't know that he was being mentally manipulated.
"I will tell you this, I do not fear you. I will show you what true fear is boy!" A dark aura oozed out from the old man as he couldn't help but get worked up for some reason.
"Is that so?" Gold licked his lips with a smirk as his eyes were shadowed over. "Then climb those stairs."
In response, with a tightened grip. Zouken took a step forward.
"I see, Zouken. You've gone down the stairs, which means you wish to serve me." Gold chuckled out loud as the old man glanced down bewildered.
For some reason Zouken had found himself one step down, despite knowing he took a step up!
"Hm!?" Zouken attempted to take another step, only to find that he had gone down again.
"W-What!? I know I just took a step up..." Zouken said in disbelief as he didn't understand what was happening. Space displacement? Mind control? Too many possibilities ran through his mind.
"What's the matter? You're losing your composure, Zouken. Doesn't one lose his composure when he is afraid? Or is it in your heart, you know you must climb up, but you're so terrified that your body subconsciously did the opposite and went down?"
"Impossible! I know I went up the stairs!" Zouken shouted at as he attempted to run up this time, only to find himself back where he once was.
'What did he do? Is this his magecraft?!' Zouken thought to himself as for once he was beginning to feel helpless.
"Kuahahahaahahaha!" Gold's maniacal laughter was heard through out the estate.
"Uncle Kariya, do you hear that?" Sakura asked as she noticed the laughter from outside the house.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" The sound of Zouken's voice screaming out came after.
"Yes Sakura, Yes I do." Kariya Matou smiled as he was looking much better than he had been before.
"What is it?" she asked
"The sweet sound of justice. Now let's go." He may have lost the war, but at least Sakura is safe now.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone