Chapter 2: alone- or that's what it feels like.

sitting here again in my room. Alone. It feels like I have no friends to turn to not even my closest friend. You're off with Julia and you said that nothing felt right. I knew that my worst decision of my life would be leaving you last summer. I never thought that I wouldn't be able to get you back but now, it feels like that. My dream has become a reality. Now I have to wake up from this dream and I don't want to. I'm just crying here in my room secluded from the world's not wanting to get up off of this floor and stop listening to depressing music I always do. I never wanted to love somebody else even though I've gone through a few people between us. A few nights ago when you came over and hugged me that's why I truly felt alive. That's when I felt like I was back in that dream again, that dream I felt Last summer. Our Song place and you text me it's in a different language like we always used to text a running little gig between us that no one could understand. I don't want to translate it. I don't want to use my brain anymore. I don't want to translate it to see what it means. I'm just too scared my heart is racing and my mind is spinning and I just turn off the lights, and go to bed.