Chapter 3: Three
Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the one person who you thought would never hurt you.
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Days have passed before Jinyoung is able to smile again albeit half-heartedly. He finally think things over with the help of his friend whom he likes to call Markson, he watches the two interact with each other and finds his relationship with Jaebum lacking..lacking in warmth and friendship, some craziness and sparks and joy and rambunctious laughter.
He finally realizes why he is not enough for the older man. His world revolved around Jaebum since he's a kid. The man has been his first love and all, he didn't have any other friends except Jackson and Mark who is an acquaintance of his ..shall we say, ex-husband.
At a young age, his dream is to become a perfect wife for Jaebum..no no scratch that. At first, his dream is to become a baker, a patissier or a Batista. He wants to open a cafe shop where munchy muffins and yummy cupcakes are served along with creamy coffees. He forgot about his dreams when he fell in love with Jabeum. He forgot that he's a young man who has a passion and a thirst to prove himself, he forgot that he's a young man who needs to have friends and go to parties and have some fun night at a bar. He forgot that it's okay to drink and be crazy...he lost himself trying to be perfect for the man he loves.
And so with peace in himself, as he understood why Jaebum made a mistake he straightens himself as he walks towards his friends who are watching some TV show in the living room.
"Hey, Jinyoung..."
He sat down beside Jackson and clutch the man's arms as he heaves a deep breath.
"I think its time to talk to Jaebum." Jinyoung blurted out as Mark looks at him in concern.
"Are you sure?"
Jinyoung nodded, and Jackson held his hands.
"And you're telling me this because..."
"I know Jaebum, once we meet up he will force me to come home, it's in his nature and I don't think to be alone with him will be helpful for me," Jinyoung muttered.
Jackson nodded in agreement.
"Mark and I will come with you, as your bodyguards, don't worry we'll go incognito. He will never know it's us!" He hisses as Jinyoung smiled at his friends.
"What will I do without you guys.." He said with wonder in his voice, silently thanking the heavens by giving him to angels.
"You'll be kidnapped and ship to somewhere as a sex slave."
Mark punches Jackson's arms as the man laugh hysterically at Jinyoung's scared face.
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Jaebum look dazedly around his office, he already finishes some of the reports with positive results, his investment in this hotel is doing well, income is pouring in. He finally did it, he was able to save money, lots of money for them..for his husband. Finally, they can adopt a child and be a family.
A knock was heard as Youngjae peek inside before going in. Things have been awkward for them to say the least ever since Jinyoung saw them having sex inside his office.
"Sir? You have a call on line two, someone called Mark?"
Jaebum suddenly woke up from his thoughts.
"I'll make the call now. Thanks."
Youngjae moves but stopped when Jaebum called out to him.
"Youngjae., I wanted to say I'm sorry for putting you into this mess." Jaebum quietly said as Youngjae smile awkwardly to him.
"It's okay, I'm at fault too for falling for a married man."
Jaebum looks at him sadly, ashamed that he lead the younger man on, promises that they'll be together.
"You may go now, we will talk after this arranging your transfer to another department."
Youngjae nodded and walks out, it has been his suggestion. To be transferred to another department, because he knew that Jaebum will make up with his husband and there's no space for him in his life.
Jaebum heaves a deep breath as he answers the call.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jaebum, this is Mark."
"Hi Mark, how is my husband? Is everything okay?" Jaebum asks with worry lace in his voice.
"Don't worry about him, he's fine, he's drowning himself...in orange juice. That husband of yours can't even take single alcohol without being dead drunk on his ass, he's eating on time, he's always staying up late thinking about whatever he's thinking but don't worry we're always there to accompany him." Mark blabbed on.
"Thanks for taking care of him,, can I see him now?" Jaebum hesitated.
"That's why I called, you see Jinyoung finally clears his mind and decided that he's ready to talk to you. But let us highlight the keyword he said talk,, not moving in again or getting back together. You need to behave or else you'll have to answer to me." Mark seriously said.
"And your annoying boyfriend." Jaebum scoffed as Mark chuckles back at him.
"He makes me call you so we can threaten you, anyways Jinyoung will text you the details later. Bye Jaebum."
"Yeah, thanks. Bye."
Jaebum continues working but secretly looking at his phone every now and then waiting for his husband to contact him. Finally, Jinyoung sends a message, he swallows nervously as he thinks of a proper reply.
To : Jaebummie
Hi, it's been a while Jaebum hyung, I'm sorry for leaving without a word that is so childish of me. If you're not busy later maybe we can have a chat and finally talk things through? Beep me up if you're free.
Jaebum looks at the phone sadly, it's been so many years since the man called him hyung that he's not used to it anymore..he doesn't like it. It feels like by using it Jinyoung is stating that they are back to square one, back to the days when he is just a good friend.
To : MyWifey
I'm free later babe, just text me the place and time and I'll be there. I miss you.
Jinyoung looks at the reply and bites his lips.
Oh, but I missed you too Jaebum. I miss the Jaebum that loves me soo much he can't think of any other ways to hurt me.
To : Jaebummie
6 sharp at Hideout Cafe, that's a local resto-bar that's newly opened a few blocks away from your work. I'll see you there then. Bye Jaebum hyung, take care.
Jaebum closes his eyes and leans back on his chair. He will take what he can get as of the moment, he misses Jinyoung, he misses coming come to his smile and warmth and love. Damn, he is so dumb.
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Jinyoung looks around the resto and smiles at the warm ambiance, he likes the atmosphere here. The crew is all so polite and very quick to fill the customer's needs. He wants a shop like these too. He will have a shop like this.
He fiddles with his orange juice when he saw his husband walks inside in all his glory. He always catches a breath whenever he saw the man, Jaebum is so handsome and effortlessly sexy and just so damn appealing, he remembers when they are in high school and the female population including the single teachers are throwing themselves at Jaebum's feet. But the man just smiles at them and rejected their offers saying that Jinyoung is the only one allowed to have his way with him. He smiled bitterly at the memories, oh those innocent memories.
Jaebum looks around and saw Jinyoung sitting at a table situated beside a tall window that offers a clear view outside. He walks towards him and leans down automatically to kiss him on the lips but Jinyoung turns his head so Jaebum's lips landed on his cheeks. Jaebum frown as he saw how his husband flinches away from his touch. He sighs as he sat down in front of him.
"Hi.." Jinyoung awkwardly said, not looking directly at Jaebum who nooded his head.
"When are you coming home Jinyoung.." Jaebum quietly said as Jinyoung fiddled with his fingers.
"Have you seen the papers that I left back at the house?"
"Yes, I destroyed it. Tear it n half and throw it into the trash can." Jaebum bitterly said as the smaller man looks at him in surprise.
"But...Jaebum hyung, don't make this hard for us. I am doing this for you, so you can continue what you want to do and for me..so I can go and find myself." Jinyoung said bravely as he saw how his husband frowned at his statement. He knows how possessive Jaebum is, he doesn't like it when Jinyoung is out galivanting somewhere without him, he only allowed the separation that they have now because of his mistake.
"I don't want a divorce Jinyoung, I made a mistake and I'm sorry, I will never do that again and I'll prove my love to you every single day now for the rest of our lives, I want us to stay together. You will still be Im Jinyoung and that's final." Jaebum gritted his teeth, angry that his innocent husband thought he could just dump him and go on his merry way. Jinyoung is his, they belong together.
Jinyoung looks down fighting tears, praying to God that he can keep his composure until the very end.
"Listen Jaebum hyung,...I do love you, so damn much. I want to stay with you, and forget every bad thing that happened to us but I can't, because I am hurting too much, I can't even look at you straight in the eye because I can't think of those lovely eyes who gaze at me with love has look at someone else with lust, I don't want to touch your hands because I will think about how you touch him, how you tear his clothes off, how you caress his body, I don't want to kiss your lips because I fear that I will taste him on you. That's how I hurt, every single second..." Jinyoung said with tear-filled eyes.
Jaebum is shocked at how his husband described his pain, he leans forward to grab his hands but the smaller man flinch away.
"I do love you, it's just I need time to heal. Don't get me wrong, I understand why you look for someone else, I am sorry Jaebum hyung if I wasn't as pretty or as handsome as I was back when I was younger..."
"Dont...dont criticize yourself, you are beautiful and handsome and funny and innocently sexy.. it's just me. I'm an asshole who makes a terrible mistake. I wasn't thinking when...I do love you. And you're the most beautiful person for me." Jaebum said seriously.
"I'm still not enough for you..."
"Babe,..."
"I want to find myself, I want to explore new things, I want to meet new people and make friends and make a name for myself. I want to pursue my dreams." Jinyoung smiles at Jaebum who looks confused.
"What dreams.."
Jinyoung chuckles at the man, Jaebum has been used to the idea that Jinyoung's goal in life is to be a perfect housewife for him.
"I had a dream way back hyung, when you're not my boyfriend yet and I might pursue it this time. Please, I beg you Jaebum hyung, set me free and let me find myself. It's the only thing you can do for me after all these..."
"No, you can do all you want to do without getting a divorce." Jaebum looks down in defeat as Jinyoung stares at him in confusion.
"How many years will it take for you to find yourself," Jaebum ask without looking up, his heart breaking but he tries to be strong and face this punishment that fate gives him.
"Three,,"
"You're a free man these three years, go on and have fun and then come back to me. We will talk again like this and I hope by then you will find it in your heart to forgive me." Jaebum cried in front of him which makes Jinyoung smile. After all his mistakes he knows deep inside that the man in front of him, the man who takes his hand in marriage still loves him. Maybe distance and time away from each other will do them good.
Jinyoung stood up and walks towards Jaebum, he squishes himself and settled down on his lap. Using the sleeves of his sweater to wipe away the taller man's tears.
"I will try to be a better version of myself and I hope you will too Jaebummie. I love you."
Jaebum hugged the smaller man and pray to the Gods that he can survive these three years without his life beside him.
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Two tables away from them Jackson is wailing his head off and crying dramatically, making the customers around them look at the buff man crying while Mark patted him on the shoulders hissing for him to shut up.
"Shut the fuck up Jackson or we'll be freaking seen!" Mark hisses as he rolls his eyes at his crazy boyfriend.
"But that is just so freaking beautiful...K-drama worthy. Oh my God...and I have an ugly picture of Jaebum crying, the fucking son of a bitch. Oh, I am so sad and happy at the same time...Markiepooh...Let me have a kiss." Jackson suddenly grabs his boyfriend's head who laughs and bumps him on the head.
Mark looks at the two people who got hurt, and proceeded to give each other space and continues to hope that their love will still prevail.
TBC^^
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