Chapter 4: Chapter 4: What's Up With You, Girl?
"You up, C?" Sasha called me sleepily.
I can feel the cushion hugging me ever more tightly than anyone did in my life. I felt warm, at ease, and never wanting to get up. Ironically, I couldn't sleep; I just closed my eyes and felt the world slowly revolve around me. Tonight's shift's going to mess me up real good.
Recalling my interaction with Stan a few days ago, my body suddenly felt so heavy. I was just using my bed as an excuse. I don't want to see his face or get a whiff of his cheap perfume. His existence is enough to make me nauseous.
"C, you good?" Sash asked me. She rolled over and watched me intently for the past few minutes.
"Yeah, just don't want to see Stan," I sighed.
"Hold on. I'll ask him what happened and why he needed us suddenly," Sash whipped out her phone. The next thing I knew, she was giggling like crazy. I know something's up. And it's not good. Hopefully.
I tried to be nonchalant as much as I could, but I could not help but smile.
"What's with that sheepish smile, C?" Sasha asked. I just shrugged my shoulders in return.
"Nothing," I replied meekly as I opened the SoftStore on my phone. "Have you tried using dating apps?" I tried to ask innocently.
Her face lit up as soon as she heard my question. I knew she's gonna bombard me with nonsense questions. I know her reactions so well.
"What's with that sheepish smile, Sash?" I mockingly asked her back. She just raised her brows as if I was asking a stupid question. It's Sash, and indeed it was a stupid question.
She propped on her side, supporting her body with her elbow, and leaned into me.
"You have a chance to change your question, damsel," she replied in a singsong way.
"I was just wondering, okay?" I defended myself. It icks me when I answer in this tone. I feel like I am baring myself without even trying.
"I mean, what's wrong with trying new stuff?" I continued.
"You wanna find a boyfie or what? 'Cause it's a tough world in there," she asked nosily, raising her eyebrows playfully. "All I'm saying is, you must have the heart to sign up for that stuff," she continued.
My face turned into a huge question mark which gave her the signal to continue. I was just curious about it! That's all… oh geez, I did it again.
"Look, if you're going to sign up for that…you must know what you are looking for. Don't beat around the bush. If you're just up for the night and not down for anything long-term, be firm. Don't go around saying yeses and stuff just to be validated," she explained.
"There are a lot of manipulative men in those virtual worlds. You must be upfront with what you're looking for but don't rub it onto their faces. Some say they're ready to commit, but in the end, all they're after is your body and nothing else," she continued as she rolled onto the other side of the bed and lit one stick.
She offered me, and I puffed from her stick. I didn't give her stick back, so she lit one again.
"So, it's a crazy world out there? Lots of dishonesty and mind games?" I asked, trying my best to keep my voice from trembling. Dishonesty and mind games.
"Based on my experience, yes, my dearest C. But you can try it tho. I'm no devil's advocate… I meant that I don't want you to get hurt there… It won't be too much, I guess, to just give a glimpse of that world, right?" she hesitantly assured me.
I just looked at her and back at my phone. I typed in the magic words.
Beeble.
Pressed download.
Tap on the 'Open' button.
I showed it to her with a worried face. Gahd, I feel so stupid trying these kinds of stuff, but I need to reconnect to the world I was once fascinated with.
As I was navigating the app, I found Sasha scrolling through my Facegram account. She's scouting my profile for decent pictures which obviously are non-existent.
"C, tell me why a pretty girl like you doesn't have decent pictures. All of them are just showing either your side profile or your hair. What's with you, girl?" Sasha playfully asked me, holding back her laughter as she put out her cigarette.
"You know me since I moved here in Manila, Sash. Camera scares the hell out of me," I reminded her and asked for the ashtray.
"Well, you need decent pictures for your profile there. What name will you be using though?" she asked.
"I'd go by Carmen. Is a pseudonym required here?" I asked innocently. She laughed out loud which gave me the answer.
"Up to you, my dearest," she told me seriously.
"Carmen is a good name. My Aunt Pat gave it to me," I recalled cheerfully. Then suddenly my face pulled down and donned a frown. I wonder how she's doing.
"Let's get your profile started. We still have more than 8 hours left before our shift starts," she reminded me. I know Sasha's just cheering me up. She witnessed how painful it was for me to be parted from Aunt Pat.
"How many pics should I use?" I asked her."Threes just enough. Four's too much when it comes to dating apps," she answered truthfully.
"Can you help me—" she cut me off before I could finish my question."Here are the pics that I saw with some potential. You in your bikini while painting… I like these cut-off shorts. Do you still have this?" Sasha asked.
"Hey, girlie, focus!" I told her with a stifled laugh. Being with her makes me feel younger again.
"Apologies, milady. Okay… This one was during our training. It shows how soft your skin is," she showed me the picture. Yeah, I internally agree that I look decent in that picture.
"I look decent in that pic. I hope I still have the raw copy with me," I replied.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait! What are you looking for in Beeble?" she asked.
"What do you mean? What's Beeble really for?" I looked at her hoping to get the answer I needed.
"It could be for anything, really. Sex, romantic relationship, escape from boring long-term relationships," she did the puke thing. Sash's allergen is long-term romantic relationships. "Or friendships. Like platonic ones. I think you can adjust the setting there so everyone can view you and start matching with you," she continued.
"Mhmm, I think I'd go for friendships first. I just wanna try it out," I told her.
"Well, the pics we chose are just right for that. Wait, this one… you need to use this. Set this as your main picture. Hold on, let me Lightdrop it to you," she replied.
I was surprised by how I looked in that picture. I was smiling, grinning even. But it wasn't forced. I look alive. I look like I was living in that picture.
"Hold on, Sashy, where did you get this pic? I don't have this on my Facegram," I know I look puzzled when I look at her. She just smiled at me. I put it on my profile, and I'm all set up.
"Now you know why Stan is so crazy over you! It's on my account, dumbass!" she teased me. I never broke off my confused gaze on her. "You're not mutuals with Stan on Face-G?" Sasha was shocked when I nodded.
"Well, to solidify my conclusion, that is the driving force of Stan's raging hormones toward you," she chuckled.
"You have a potty mouth, Sasha. You know what—"
Our banters stopped when my phone's notification went on.
Beeble notification: 43s ago
You matched with Mark. Check what they told you about your profile!
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
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