Chapter 3: Apparently, I was a wand
'Okay, just calm down. Think about this a little. Rearrange my thoughts. Find something important.'
I tuned off whatever monstrosity those cursed magical girls were doing and focused on my situation.
I woke up in a dark closed area, check. I found out that my body couldn't move, check. When the light came, I saw giants, check. I mentally looked at my notes. I clearly didn't want to continue my thoughts yet I had no choice. There was only one explanation—actually, two but that one was not happening.
First, I got damaged so badly that I became crazy and made-up fake memories of being a human. Or second, I died and reincarnated as a wand with all my memories attached.
I certainly was not going to admit that I was crazy so the second theory seemed more possible. Well, at the very least, it explained why I couldn't move.
Looking down, I saw that my lower body was that of a pink handle with three sparkling and shiny gems. No legs, just a long straight handle. I internally cringed and cursed. Darn, I really did become a "magical" wand. I didn't have arms and legs anymore but instead, I looked like a childish stick.
I found myself channeling my inner Lisa. I really understood how she hated being reminded that she looked quite feminine now. The afterlife was teaching me to hate my current form so much that it would probably be a taboo.
...also, did that mean I didn't have my "assets" anymore?
I shook my head—that clearly just went 180 awkward so fast—and continued on more important things. My eyes narrowed at the hand that still held my body and I felt my blood rushing. I still had to get out of here and never run into these "freaks" again.
I coughed once, trying to get the attention of the three giants—I knew that they weren't giants but it would be rude to keep identifying them as freaks—and kept a straight face when I was ignored. I faked another cough and waited again; my veins being ticked every second I got ignored.
Thirty minutes of the three giants talking among themselves later, I felt myself cursing them to death. As if I needed other reasons to curse them... I watched the three giants silently.
"—couldn't synchronize with—"
"—must be too powerful—"
"—screams like it's terrified—"
My eyes turned red. I felt the anger building up in me burst at those words. I clearly did not scream like a scaredy-cat!
"I did not scream like that!" I shouted angrily but then, I blinked in surprise when lightning bolts struck down the three girls and electrified them. They cried out in pain and the pink-haired girl, in particular, got the blunt of the attack. Her hand loosened its grip on my body and I smacked down to the ground.
—or at least, I thought so. I immediately closed my eyes in fright and waited for impact. That didn't happen?
I blinked and looked at my surroundings. I wasn't on the ground and I seemed to be floating. I stayed in the air, the wind touching my body. I shivered, surprised that a soft wind felt so cold already.
I frowned. I might be more sensitive than when I was a human. This would not be cold during winter or summer. I wondered if I could wear something. A wide ribbon, perhaps?
"Look!" the black-haired girl yelled in awe, snapping me from my thoughts. She pointed at me like I was unnatural—which to be fair, was true. "It's glowing!"
"It must have casted that lighting strike!"
'Okay, what? I will have you know that I couldn't possibly be—'
I looked down and saw that I was really glowing a green light. My mind went blank at the implication. I could only think to do one thing.
"Burn! Burn, baby! Burn!"
I immediately started firing magical attacks to the three girls which made the three retreated. They dodged the fireballs easily and it didn't seem to have much damage but I was having too much fun to care about those details. I didn't even about being a wand at the moment.
I savored this moment and I had no intention of stopping any time soon.
"Yes! I can finally blast these monstrosities! Muahahahaha!" I laughed in glee like a villain winning against the heroes.
I threw them small fire balls and alternate with snow balls. I even managed to shoot lightning bolts at them. This was definitely fun!
The blonde brought out a blue wand with a poof and started countering the attacks. The black-haired girl followed shortly after helping the pink-haired girl to stand up from her previously fallen form.
"Mermaid Princess Shield!"
"Warrior Princess Sword!"
"Guys, remember to not damage the wand too much!" Pink—it was easier to call them like this—reminded but she stayed away from the fight. "I already contacted Tama-chan but he said that he needs to check the wand."
I raised an eyebrow at the last sentence but paid no other heed to it. I pouted instead, thinking that my fun would be interrupted.
However, I felt a powerful energy fill my body from within and I closed my eyes. I concentrated and envisioned what I wanted. I opened my eyes again and I glowed brightly.
I smirked haughtily, "Bombs away!"
Multiple bombs appeared and surrounded the magical girls, who paled drastically. My smirk widened and I curled open the fingers of my imaginary hand.
"One, two—"
Boom!
First day as a magical wand: I totally tried to kill your partners, the magical girls. It's definitely going to be a thing for me.
-0-
End Theater
Lisa: So how will you do your night activities with your lover be now?
MC: That's fine. My lover has weird fetishes.
???: This is not a Rated 18 story, you idiots!
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
BrokenBlackCat
BrokenBlackCat I’m telling you guys in advance. The MC is a horrible narrator so if you’re confused of what’s happening to the magical girls, it’s on purpose. That might be the beauty of it because our dear MC protrays the magical girls as villians.
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