Lightning, Or: How I never was worried and eventually became Queen
Author: Cosmopolitician© WebNovel
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I awake to a bright light just as I had faded asleep to. I hear a hustle and bustle around me, my eyes slowly adjusting to the new light.
"Hey kid! Get out of the way!"
A harsh voice from above me? Strange, usually I hear morons from below. I must be on the ground somehow, probably that damn lightning knocked me out for a while.
"Figures I'd be hit by lightning on the one night a week I go outside." I grumble as I reach for my head.
Seems I'm standing, I look to see hands that are not my own nearing my face. I recoil in surprise, as the hustle and bustle has hushed, turning to urgent whispers. I see hands that are not my own, looking further I see unfamiliar clothing and feet. Bare feet, tattered clothes, bare feet... A child's feet? I lift one up to see. They're definitely my feet, but they're certainly not MY feet.
"You deaf Kid? Get out of the way!"
Again with the yelling. My eyesight nearly returned, I look around at the scene I seem to have created. An empty street on one side, a procession of shiny stuff on the other, and one shiny thing standing over me. The stern face attached to the shiny thing leans down to mine as if to intimidate me.
"Stupid kid! What are you -"
I cut the voice short with a swift kick to the jaw. It hurts more than usual, lack of shoes not helping anything, but the kid I'm in has good callouses at least.
"Shut up would you?" I yell at the shiny lump on the road in front of me. "For fuck's sake you'll wake the dead screaming like that."
That was more high pitched than I expected, I'm definitely a kid now. I proceed to clean out my ears and check myself over. I wonder what the rest of this body's like. A quick check reveals many callouses, lean but muscular legs, and nothing between the legs.
"Great I'm a girl, that's going to be trouble down the line..."
As I've been checking my new body out, I find myself surrounded by shiny people with strange looks on their faces. They're holding shields in formation around me while one of them drags their unconscious comrade away. My complete lack of interest in this seems to be more unnerving to them than their casualty.
"Hey morons, how tall am I?" I say, shooting a look at the lot of them.
They remain silent but give each other quizzical looks, not knowing how or whether to answer.
"I asked how tall I am, someone want to give me an answer?"
They continue their stunned silence, unsure what's happening. Two of them are separated from behind by an old man in dark robes. He has a look of indignant rage on his face as he raises a stick and points it at me.
"Astar Fierum!" He chants.
I feel myself thrown back across the street, very hot, and then once more I am immersed in light.
"Hey kid. Get out of the way!"
The voice again. I'm back where I was when I started. My eyes have adjusted more quickly this time, so I can see exactly what the obnoxious voice looks like. What was that the old guy did to me? I raise my hand and point my palm towards the yelling turd.
"Astar Fierum!"
His shield absorbed most of the hit, but he still went flying into his buddies. I look at my hand, slight steam rising from the surface of my palm.
"I guess this is some kind of magic." I mumble to myself as I stretch my limbs and begin to walk away from the scene.
Once more I'm surrounded, but they seem even more wary than last time. This time they have spears pointed at me in addition to the shields. If 'Astar Fierum' is some kind of heat magic, I wonder how the language of magic is structured here. If the language of magic in this world is a sub-class of the primary language, then effect is generated directly from the chant. Or in other words: (Spell = (speech + intention) X Caster proficiency). Rather convenient for me if so.
"Maybe I'll try something here." I say, once more looking at my palm. "Aero Verticalus!"
I found myself lifted into the air by a strong updraft, the soldiers looking up at me in horror. 'This is more like it' I muse with a smile crossing my face.
Pointing my hand downward to the centre I had just escaped I chanted "Astar Aero."
The downward blast of air cushioned my fall and scattered the soldiers in all directions. Once more I stretched out and started to walk away. This time nobody tried to stop me.
I wanted to see what all the fuss was about with the soldiers anyway, suits of polished armour walking around in the middle of town is usually a parade or something. There's more of them up ahead, standing in rows in front of a palanquin.
"Great, I had to get sent into a royal procession." I muttered to myself. I had to find out what was going on. I decided to yell this time.
"So what's going on here anyway that the toy soldiers get to yell at children?"
The palanquin curtains moved and a boy with a rather dull look on his face stepped slightly outside. Once he caught sight of me he started glaring like I'd insulted him personally.
"You there," I yelled, pointing at him, "are you someone important in this town?"
"I dare say so street rat! Move aside or I'll have your head!"
"That's something I'd like to see. You going to take it yourself or send your polished turds to do it for you?"
"Why in all the - Have you not even the manners one expects from a peasant? Or do you just not know where you are?"
"You're not as dumb as you look, kid. The answer is both. I'm no peasant, and I have no idea where I am right now, nor how I arrived."
The boy looked on at me with seething rage, his own lack of self control allowing my calm demeanour to control the situation. He stepped out fully to the front of the platform and ordered my decapitation. Once again I had soldiers bearing down on me.
"Tempus Novus!" I loudly declare.
'New Time' eh? I guess magic really is simple in this world. The world stood still in my eyes, a shade of red caused by the dilation. Man would they be in for a shock. I stepped casually around their spears and shields and climbed up on the palanquin.
This pompous ass of a child has never seen the kind of embarrassment I'm about to dole out on him. He's wearing pants and a silk tunic, in keeping with the style of everything else I've seen thus far. Their technology must be roughly 600 years behind my own. Certainly their governance and fashion sense are, if this kid gets to give orders.
Grasping the waist of his pants I release the temporal spell and pull them down hard. He stands for a moment still unaware of his condition, as I grab him around the neck and hold his arm behind him. The soldiers slowly realize what's happened as the boy squirms around and screams to be let go. They point their spears in my direction but dare not move.
"Shut up you spoiled brat." I say to the kid. "Attention everyone! Look what I've got!"
Stunned expressions and hushed panic spread through the crowd as everyone realized what was happening. From the looks on their faces I guessed that they didn't have any grudges against the ruling class, despite this brat's attitude.
"Can someone tell me whose dick is waving in the breeze up here? I want to know if he's worth keeping."
"Unhand the Prince!" Someone orders from behind the palanquin.
"The Prince? I have the Prince here, you say? That'll do. Listen up, If I wanted anyone here dead, they'd be dead by now, but I'm not letting this scrawny, piece of crap, dirt-farm ruling brat tell me where to stand."
"Hey kid, where's your palace?" I asked the prince.
"Up behind us a ways. I was setting out to meet my Father returning from battle."
"Is that so?" I say softly. "Alrighty, back to the palace. You shiny guys can follow along if you like, but if you make any sudden moves this kid's losing another article of clothing before you can say 'please punish me for being a dumbass'."
The palanquin made the arduously slow turn and began its' journey up the road to the palace. I stepped inside the curtains with the kid and released him off to one side.
"Put your pants back on."
He said nothing in response, meekly pulling up his trousers and standing where I had placed him. The interior was a small palace in itself, with a big chair and a table full of snacks. I sat in the chair and picked up what appeared to be a tropical fruit of some kind.
"Say, your culture wouldn't happen to have developed global navigation yet would it?"
"Uh, yes, ma'am, we have."
"Ma'am? Kid this body can't be any older than yours, and I was a man in my last life, so why don't we just call me Jean?"
"A man? Your last life? What blasphemy is this?!"
I shoot him a stern look before his religious indignance can make him do something stupid. I guess it really is a late medieval kind of society. I let out a weary sigh and massaged my temples.
"Ok, kid, sit down." I indicate my own lap.
Reluctantly he steps over and sits on my lap, a slight blush forming on his face.
"Oho, is this the first time you've been this close to a girl? You really are royal aren't you?"
The blushing continues to intensify.
"Moving on, global navigation. Would you happen to know how close to the equator we are?"
"Equator?"
"The most outer, central portion, relative to the planet's rotation." I say indicating with the roundest fruit he had on the table.
"I couldn't say, but my Father's campaign travelled over one month to get to the battlefield, where it is said to be nearly the hottest place we know of."
"So, either not far, or you've developed a sufficient road system. Do you have globes or maps at the palace?"
"I believe my Father or the court scribes have some."
Once inside the castle walls I dismounted the palanquin with a yawning stretch. The palace guards held their spears in my direction, but despite the fact I was no longer holding the Prince, they didn't make any aggressive moves.
"Come on boy, let's go see some maps." I said, beckoning for the Prince to keep up.
"My name is not 'boy', it's Phillip. Phillip the 4th of the Kingdo-"
"Phillip, that's original... Ok, come along Pip, lots to do."
The boy and his guards stood in stunned silence once more. This is going to get old fast.
Turning to face the bulk of them I said, "Look if you people don't get used to the new reality I bring, it's going be a lot quieter around here, and nothing's going to get done. Pull your thumbs out of your collective asses and get with the program. Pip, maps, on the double!"
Pip quickly took the lead into the palace, his attendants following suit, giving me a wide berth. At least they can follow orders... Maybe I can get some work done in this world after all.
Standing in a lavish study with books along one wall, I suddenly realize why a society with global navigation and magic is stuck at this technological level.
"Hey Pip?"
"Yes?"
"These books..."
"Yes, this is the finest collection of books outside the grand library in the university."
He said that rather proudly, confirming my suspicions. Not a single one of these books is about science, engineering, geometry, physics, farming, social structure, or economics. This library is fully stocked on exactly two subjects: Warfare and the religion of the nation. Once more I massaged my temples, releasing a low plaintive groaning as I did so.
"Where is your court magician?"
"I'll have someone bring him."
While I waited for who I assumed was the man who used Astar Fierum on me before, I found a map and looked it over. It was crude, but covered a wide area. The geography of this world was significantly different from my original, but clearly shares many of the basic principles. Large oceans, smaller seas, smaller lakes, rivers, ponds. The concentration of settlements and towns were very close to all of these, meaning they hadn't figured out long distance aqueducts, or had lost them at some point in the past. Strange though that the ability of magic hadn't made it possible to simply generate water where and when it was needed.
"Jean, I present the Court Mage, Baldar."
"B-man, I have two questions."
"B-man? The indignity! I shan't speak to you!"
"Then you're fine going through that window over there?"
He looked worried for a second, then regained his composure.
"Ask your questions..."
"First, what's the state of knowledge in this nation? Is the library at the University structured the same as that in this room, or are more subjects covered?"
"More subjects are covered, and the books relating to war are kept in a guarded annex, but aside that, they are the same."
"Second question: What's the state of magic in the nation? Who can use it, and is there a standardized system of magic?"
"Not many people show an aptitude for magic, but there are some whose true ability is not apparent until several years of training has given them the understanding of the magical realm. The standardized training is classified as 6 base elements, and many derivatives and combinations of those. Frankly miss you should know all of this, your display during the procession earlier clearly marks you as someone whose training has been ongoing for at least 3 years."
"No, I just arrived today. I'm not sure if I died in my original world or if my mind was just sent to this body. But either way, I'm asking these questions because I don't know what situation I've been dropped into."
He paused for a while to take this concept in. I continued to look over maps and charts in the meantime. Clearly this man has some deeply set assumptions about how the world works, and I assume most others will have the same assumptions. I'm going to have to break these assumptions to make any changes here. I wonder if the other nations are more open minded, or less...
"By the by, Pip mentioned his father was returning from battle today, what's the war about?"
"The nations to the south greatly insult our sense of morals and our Goddesses."
"Great, it's a crusade." I paused to once again massage my temples. "How so?"
"They insist that the many spirits of their many provinces protect them, and that the Five Goddesses have no business on their lands!"
"I don't know about their Spirits or your Goddesses, but they're right. If they don't want to be involved in your religion, that's up to them."
"The Sacred writings state that any person who serves any ethereal power aside the Five is unclean and must be punished."
"I'm going to make this very clear to you: YOU CANNOT PUNISH OTHER COUNTRIES FOR NOT FOLLOWING YOUR LAWS. That would be like issuing traffic tickets for having different road orientations."
"Traffic? What?"
"Never mind, something from my world, you'll learn about it eventually. Point is this crusade is over as soon as the king arrives, your country has several internal crises to deal with before we talk about foreign policy."
"His Highness will never allow you to dictate those terms, and the Church would never allow him to end the campaign simply of his own accord."
"Then I suppose the King and the Clergy are fine going through that window over there?"
"Why is that your solution to being defied?!"
"Because if I'm going to live in this world I'm going to make it comfortable for myself! I lived thirty damn years in my old world in a society operated by normies, for normies, and people like me were systematically discarded because we couldn't do anything in the face of the normies' sheer numbers. I'm not letting that happen this time! I'm going to make a social structure that works! If I can do that without taking over a whole country, all the better, but if you backwards, 6 centuries behind, religious sheep can't get with the program, I'll do it! Or I suppose I could just go to one of your neighbours and see if they're any smarter than you."
"You would go to that length just to be comfortable? With your abilities you could get land and peerage. You could become a baroness and your family would want for nothing. You could be a Named Mage in the army and rise to General. Why would you change an entire nation's way of life just to be comfortable?"
"Because I can't be comfortable surrounded by idiots! If everyone was at least trying to better themselves and each other it wouldn't be so bad, but when people don't know any better they don't try any better. They go about their stupid lives never wondering if there's more their society could BE."
"So your goal is to create a society where the national pastime is being better?"
"Exactly! A world where everyone spends every day being smarter, faster, stronger, wiser, and better than they were the day before. A world where advancement is made for advancement's sake, and where profit is an afterthought. A world where no potential is wasted and where every experience is a learning experience."
"So what's a 'normie' then?" Pip chimed in.
"The closest equivalent here would be a peasant. Your average, not well educated, not very smart, small world – small dreams, normal human being."
"A world run by peasants!? I don't believe you. Such a place could not survive without leadership."
"Leaders rose and fell from the masses, but the system itself was the problem. The system relied on the continued participation of the normies, competing against each other for profit, to fuel the social hierarchy. So the leaders changed all the time, but the system never did. It all technically worked, but as a byproduct, society as a whole tended to stagnate.
In a world where social stability is reliant on everyone playing by the same rules and for their own benefit, there's no large incentive for most individuals to do anything besides play the game. They're perfectly content to stagnate as long as they can remain comfortable by playing their little corner of the game board, so they never question whether the game actually makes sense.
Those of us who can't make sense of the game, or whose interests can't be fulfilled by stagnation are most often discarded. The education system of that world plays a big role in filtering out potential for change. We have 600 years worth of knowledge more than you, but in exchange we've lost the ability to think independently. I won't let that happen here either."
"Are you proposing a completely unique standard of education? One in which the peasants would receive a better education than even the nobles currently do?"
"For starters, yes. For this to work everyone will have to be able to access whatever level of education they desire. Whether they take part or not will be their choice, but the option must be open to them, without barriers or financial constraints."
"Have you any idea the cost of providing education to every citizen? Every peasant? We'll never afford it without taxing the peasants into a revolt!"
"How much are you spending on your little crusade right now?"
B-man had no retort for this. Clearly I was right on the mark, they were taxing the peasants up the nose already to pay for their pointless war. No wonder they can't afford to have more books in the King's study.
"I promise, education will cost less than your dumb war, and the country will be far better off for it."
"What about the soldiers? We can't have the entire army suddenly out of work, it'd be chaos!"
"Most of your soldiers were recruited from your assorted villages, correct?"
They both nodded.
"And I assume most of them were manual labourers in their hometowns, so they could go off to war and the town wouldn't lose a vital function."
They nodded again, still not seeing where I was going with this.
"Therefore, we will still have an army, they will still be employed. If we can employ them to fight, then we can employ them to build."
The light of realization shone on their faces.
"That's right! The army will build schools and libraries in every town! It will cost less than warfare, the soldiers will stay employed, and they'll spend their pay in-town instead of in another land. After this is complete, they will be employed as the national guard, keeping security on highways and borders."
" There aren't enough books in the kingdom for every town to have its' own library, and not enough teachers to run a school in every town."
"So we make more books and train more teachers. If you got an engineer in here and I described a machine to him, do you think it could be built?"
"What kind of machine?"
"One that can copy books very quickly. In my world it's called a printing press. You can print multiple copies of a book in quick succession by arranging iron or bronze letters into the text of a page and stamping multiple copies of that page. Then you arrange the next page, and repeat the process until you have a completed book. A room full of these machines can produce one copy of a book in as little as an hour. More advanced machines will eventually be made that can do this automatically by a large rolling system."
"How do you know of that?! It's a national secret that the university has been working on for the past year."
"Ah well that's good, I won't need to do any heavy lifting on that one. If your inventors run into any problems on that machine I'll be happy to help them out. As for teachers, a basic training course should allow anyone capable of reading and writing to teach those who can't. In the future, more comprehensive training for teachers will become necessary."
"The only citizens with that level of education are nobles and those in the magical arts. You're not seriously suggesting we send them off to teach the unwashed masses are you?!"
"Noblesse Oblige. It is the duty of those in high standing to elevate those below them. It is also the duty of those in low standing to support those in high standing as they do so. But if either end loses sight of their obligation, the whole thing falls apart. Sadly that seems to be the way things go if nobody keeps cracking the whip on both sides."
"They'll never go for it! The children of Nobles must never come in direct contact with the children of commoners. Unless they're shopping for servants or something..."
A gesture towards the large window was enough to shut them both up on the matter. B-man is a spineless, yet indignant, fool. It was easy to make him accept the new reality. I have to wonder how the King will react though.
I didn't have long to wait, as the man himself charged into the office. He had his sword drawn, still wearing his travelling armour.
"Are you the one?!" He shouted, pointing his blade at me.
"Yes I am, nice to meet you. Your son and court mage have been filling me in on the situation--"
I was cut off, and in half, by the King's sword.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cosmopolitician
Cosmopolitician I wrote this chapter some time ago, and while I'm still satisfied with the content, I may edit for clarity and prose over time.
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