Chapter 3: Dig Deep
I took deep breaths and calmed myself down. Okay, I've been thrown into another life and now I'm forced to continue it after my original life had ended. But now, the problem is I have no idea who I am right now. I don't even read web novel or webtoon so religiously to even recognize what character am I and from what story.
Okay girlie, even though I am basically permanently possessing you, I need to take a look about who you are. Your name, your life story, your relationship. Your soul probably got replaced but I'm sure your brain still holds on to who you are.
I closed my eyes and found myself going into the remnants of her mind...
My name is Emilia Diana Maxwell, daughter of Marquis Maxwell–well, illegitimately. My mother slept with my father regularly while his wife at the time was terribly ill. After word got out my father was cheating on his wife with a daughter of a lowly baron, the heartbreak seemed to added the pain.
She refused to eat or take her medicine after she found out that the rumors were true. Her condition worsened and she ultimately died. After her death, my mother was married into the Maxwell family after they found out she had given birth to a daughter bearing the all too recognizable platinum Maxwell hair.
Because of the fact everyone knew about this, my mother was heavily criticized by the High Society. Sure, criticize the woman but don't talk about the man who still slept with another woman even though he's got a wife back home. Typical.
Also, after I was born, it couldn't be helped that people looked at me sideways because of my birth mother. Yeah, blame the innocent kid too. Good job, society. I had half siblings, my older brothers. Clifford and Flint. Of course, those two rascals hate me too. But my father...
It was weird with my father. He genuinely cares about me, but I can't help but to also feel a throbbing pain in my heart as I see his face in my mind. I blamed him for something... no, actually–I blamed him for it all. The sneers and rumors around me... I blamed him because if it wasn't for him, then maybe my mother wouldn't die, maybe I could've been a normal girl.
This child... hated her own life and she hated herself. But she masked it all by being haughty and overall a brat, so maybe the people she cared about won't see it. It's too painful, the pain in my heart was being caused by digging in the girl's memories as I tried to understand who she was. Now I'm her, and I can't shake this feeling off more than ever because I went through it too.
I lost people too and I despised myself because how life became so shitty for me after they died. It became too much for me so I pulled myself out. I slugged and held my face with both of my dainty hands. So maybe that's the reason why I was reincarnated into this world, isn't it?
We both experienced severe self loathing and in turn we couldn't handle any type of bonds anymore. We were just really pitiful creatures in our worlds. Hah, so much for a fresh start.
On a side note, I figured out which world I was reincarnated into. When I found out that my name was Emilia and my brothers' names were Clifford and Flint, I instantly knew where I am right now.
This is the world of Heylandice, and currently I reside at the heart of the Catrionne Empire, the city of Dorafinna. The story's name is The Saint of Heylandice. And here's the million dollar catch–I am currently the villainess of the story. In the web novel Emilia Maxwell was described to be a beauty with platinum blonde hair and captivating green eyes. Skin as fair as milk but a personality as bratty as a modern rebelling teenager.
Emilia Maxwell's fate at the end of the story is death my hanging for trying to get rid of the story's heroine, a girl who had awakened holy powers within her and thus was given the title of a Saint. Apparently Emilia Maxwell was jealous of the fact even though the heroine was also an illegitimate daughter of a noble, the people loved her because she was a Saint.
Good reason but definitely a poor excuse to harass someone.
Now, you might be asking why I know so much about it. That's because this web novel used to be my niece's favourite thing to ramble about and FYI, the character she hated most was the heroine. I used loved to hear her ramble about the things she was excited about, it would remind me a lot about my brother. After she moved away, I read the web novel just so I would have a reason to call her to talk about it, then I would just let her ramble on and on.
I miss her.
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