Chapter 2: Chapter 2: We Don't Need no Education
Wow, this blew up faster than my other fic! *Hangs head dejectedly in the corner at the lack of attention to his original baby* oh well, FnR is still the one I'll put a bit more time in for a while.
Thank you to Followers and Favoriters: 22darthvadrulesall, BANKAIZEN, Beowulf Gudbrytare, Brave69105, CanoTheBored, Castlewood, Dark flame god, Demory, DragonNOOB, Karma Aladdin Jehohaz Abraham, Nogitsune96, Rikes, Tiago Carimo, ZeroXheroic, alessandrohlsjr, darkraizerGx1, endofyourtime, xmevizoxpr4l, Rheanseel, Shadowjab17, Throwing the Shade, asterion1 and uwotm007. I truly appreciate all of it, I'm glad you enjoy the fic, and thanks for DragonNOOB and Dark flame god for your reviews which I'll address at the end of the chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, Jojo's is the property of Hirohiko Araki, and both are published by Shueisha.
"Are you sure you don't want me to leave a tip, Teuchi-san?"
"No no, it's fine Joushirou. I know you mean well, but if you keep leaving tips people may get the wrong idea…"
Two months
Two months since I drowned in a tsunami and my life changed completely. Two months since I was reincarnated into the world of Naruto as a citizen of Konohagakure no Sato. Two months since I found out I had the (almost) exact same stand as Jotaro. Two months I've had to come to term with the fact that I'll never be able to see the people from my old life that I knew and loved. My family, my coworkers, my chill as hell boss, that cute girl who was a regular at the dango shop and seemed to have a crush on me which I was definitely going to reciprocate. I cried silently about all of it for a few nights after first dealing with my new situation.
On the other hand my old computer was probably bricked, so nobody was gonna see my internet history any time soon. Hey, "always look on the bright side of life", as the saying goes…
After applying for ninja school and doing the mental and physical tests (which were just a bunch of questions and physical exercises), I was given a slip for Konoha Hospital for a physical exam. The ninja doctors there, and that is something I never thought I'd even think, they found nothing physically wrong with me aside from a what they called "minor heart damage", which they assumed was from complications I had as either an infant or fetus. Other than that, I got the greenlight for the academy.
Woohoo!
Unfortunately, I applied not a week after the school year had ended, and even if I had applied during the school year I wouldn't have been able to attend until the next. That meant that I had only two months to prepare, and when I did get to school I would be a first year, a 9-year-old with a bunch of 8 year olds. That meant that I'd probably be one of the class outcasts, if not snubbed by the rest of the class.
...woohoo…
Well, I didn't focus too much on that. What I did focus on was the taijutsu katas, how to use my new kunai properly, how to be stealthy, catching up on the school textbooks given to me, and of course the most surreal of them all...how to harness my chakra. It was still so trippy to have this weird glowing stuff inside me, and figuring out how to use it had its ups and downs.
As part of the tests, I was given the seals for one jutsu, the kawarimi, and instructed to switch with a log to prove I was capable of correctly remembering seals and ninjutsu. I could have feigned it by breaking my "no time stop" rule, but I decided to give it a go just to see if I could manage it. I aced that in one try, which was great, but I don't think spamming one jutsu is gonna do me any favors in the future.
Aside from training to become a decent ninja ahead of actually becoming a ninja, I was training myself on a personal level. For two months, I looked in the mirror and did everything I could to get Jotaro's emotionless resting bitch-face down to a T, to the point where it became my default facial expression. Alongside that was training with Star Platinum, and ohoho boy, the crazy shit this thing can do. I didn't actually think I'd make him do the star finger, I yelled it out as a joke...and I don't know why the whole air sucking thing was an ability, but I have my doubts about being caught in a situation like the one with justice.
Another thing about chakra was its interaction with stands. Obviously, having chakra and a stand wasn't some sort of volatile combination, in fact far from it. Having my stand actually seemed to empower to my chakra, at least on a metaphysical level. Suzume, the chūnin instructor for kunoichi classes, told me that the spiritual aspect of my chakra was far more potent than she would expect from anybody of my age. What that means for me...well I have no fucking idea. No, what really made me panic for a while was the fact that just having chakra let you see stands.
How did I find this out? Well, one afternoon I had just left Ichiraku's, and while I was walking home I ran into a drunk guy throwing bottles around. One just happen to be on a collision path with my head, and Star Platinum took exception to that. So right after an "ORA", and the shattering of an empty saké bottle, I then had a drunk guy freaking out at the, in his own words, "huge purple person" that had emerged from my body. A light head-chop from my stand had knocked the guy unconscious, and I got out of dodge faster than Star Platinum's punches move, bolting my doors down the moment I got inside my house.
Part of me tried to convince myself that the guy could only see my stand because he was drunk. I wasn't gonna take any chances on that. I had originally thought that only Dōjutsu users would be able to see stands, but since I was "reborn" at the point where Itachi had already killed everybody in his family but Sasuke, and the Hyūga were so damn uptight, I wasn't going to try to test it out. Now I was faced with the possibility that normal everyday people with chakra could just naturally see stands...
Yeah, best to be discreet about that.
"You okay Jojo? You've been spacing out while you were finishing your bowl."
I looked up to Ayame, blinking at her a few times owlishly. Yeah, I had just spaced out while finishing up my bowl of soy and beef ramen.
"Oh yeah, sorry about that...just thinking about something..."
Another thing that had occurred was my continued and regular patronage of Ichiraku's, to the point that they treated me like a regular. Ayame had even taken to calling me "Jojo", which I hadn't really been bothered by since it was inevitable. The noodles were just so damn good too, I wasn't gonna argue with my stomach. Besides, my primary diet was healthy enough, so I wasn't going to get fat off of a few bowls of ramen here and there. I was just fortunate enough to avoid Naruto, by some miracle occuring during the past two months I hadn't walked into the ramen stand to see him sitting there slurping away at his trademark favorite.
"You okay Jōshirō? You seem like you're having trouble with something" the old man called out to me.
"Oh, nothing is wrong Teuchi-san...today is just the day I start at the shinobi academy, that's why I came here in the morning instead of the afternoon."
"Ah, that would explain your unease…" he told me, turning back to me with a smile when I pushed my finished bowl forward.
"Are you sure about the tip? I know a lot of people talk bad about you and because of that people have practically blacklisted your stand, so…"
"Nonsense, I get plenty of customers. The hokage even comes by on occasion, you don't need to worry about us."
I gave him a sort of surprised look, then sent him a small smirk.
"Alright then, thanks for the meal Teuchi-san. Hope to see you in the afternoon after I get out of school."
Ninja school didn't seem too bad, all things considered. A huge room, blackboard on the main wall, with desks seemingly put on the stairs. Exactly like I saw it in the original, though the only time I had actually seen that sort of layout in my old world was the juku my dad ran. Several civilian children who had applied were interspersed throughout the classroom, some of them clearly new and nervous.
I was leaning back in my chair with my feet up on the desk, with my eyes seemingly closed as though I were asleep. Combined with my "Jotaro outfit", this made me look like a classic 80s-90s delinquent. All I was gonna do was act the part when the opportunity arose. Hopefully that would start soon, considering the teacher(?) was down near the blackboard talking to what must have been his assistant, and he was bound to notice me and my disrespectful attitude. I had to do a double-take at the assistant though, because I knew I was looking a young Umino Iruka.
Well, younger than normal Iruka at least, at this point in time he looked to be around his late teens. The other academy teacher was this dark-haired man with a spiky beard and a serious face. The way he growled to his teenage chūnin subordinate didn't really sit well with me. I barely paid attention to the two of them as some more students filed into the classroom. One of them I picked out of the crowd.
Aburame Shino didn't look too different from Naruto Part I, aside from being a bit shorter since he was four years younger. I could also see some of the Kikaichū flying in and out of his sleeves, possibly gathering information about the area for him. While I had nothing against Shino, as a person or character, just seeing one of his bugs gave me short flashbacks to Mrs. Robinson from Steel Ball Run...yeah, that guy really gave me the willies.
My eyes shot open completely when I felt Star Platinum's hand emerge, still hidden beneath my coat. I looked down at the ethereal limb to see my stand gently holding a Kikaichū beetle between its index finger and thumb, the bugs legs still moving to show it was alive. I discreetly held my hand out, and Star Platinum gingerly deposited the poor bug onto my palm. Looking at the chakra eating insect, I saw what looked to be some form of surprise in the way it acted. I guess suddenly being grabbed by invisible fingers must have been a new experience for the little guy.
Well, I wasn't just gonna crush a small bug for no reason. I may have stopped reading the Naruto manga for the most part, but I knew that Shino named all his Kikaichū. Every last beetle, even when they're all completely identical to one another. I didn't know what this one's name was obviously, so I simply did what I did with any harmless bug that I caught. I lowered my flattened palm, then thrust it up in a quick motion. The beetle got the hint, jumping off my palm and flying back to its master.
The Kikaichū flew back to Shino, and from the corner of my eye I saw his mask of stoicism slip. I could see his eyebrows raise behind his sunglasses and his nostrils flare sideways slightly. I closed my left eye and gave him a sideways glance from the corner of my right, accentuating it by raising my eyebrow in a questioning manner. The bug user stared at me for a few more seconds, before turning forward with an intrigued hum.
Was that a bad idea? Probably, yeah...Was it fun though? Ohoho yes, it was kind of funny, in a mundane way. I'd end up catching more bugs that were flying just an inch away from my skin that entire school week before it stopped. Shino would get the idea eventually.
The next person from the Konoha rookies to show up would be Kiba. A younger Kiba of course, sans Akamaru. The dog-nin's signature ninken probably hadn't been born yet...and I suddenly remembered I was a joestar, and worried for the poor pupper in advance. Kiba came in flashing a cocky smile that showed off his elongated canines. His attitude was punctuated by the fact he was holding his hands behind his head. The inuzuka took a seat at the desk in front of my own, not paying me any mind.
The next familiar face was Uchiha Sasuke, who walked in as aloofly as possible and sat down at the desk in the aisle next to mine. Now, you may have expected that suddenly the physical incarnation douchebaggery, or something similar, walked in and layed down how much of a badass he was and how we should all worship the ground he walked on...but I just couldn't see that happening in this lifetime. It was maybe two or three years after the kid's entire family was murdered by his own brother (and one his long thought dead relatives). What I saw was an eight year old who actually seemed a bit jumpy, wasn't interacting with anybody, and sporting a pained look in his eyes that told me he was still in the process of healing from losing everything he held dear in one whole night. So despite everything I had seen in those dumb fanfics that painted him as an egotistical maniac, despite countless chapters of manga and anime episodes illustrating how much of a bastard he was for betraying the people who cared about him...I couldn't blame a kid with absurd PTSD for wanting to get his own justice.
Two more familiar figures walking leisurely along some civilian children. Shikamaru looked like he would rather be anywhere else but here, and Chōji was nonchalantly pulling chips from a bag and munching on them. I had to fight down a slight grimace when I heard the crunching coming from his mouth. He could have at least kept his mouth closed when he ate...regardless, the two of them sat at the desks in front of Sasuke.
By this point I had started looking around discreetly to see if there had been anybody else I had missed coming. Team Guy were all third years now, so they couldn't have been in this class. Who I was really trying to find was the female half of my first OTP...oh, there she is! Hinata walked in like you'd think, walking among a group of civilian students for cover. The socially anxious girl bolted through the aisles quietly, sitting in the back and twiddling her fingers nervously.
Yeah, I was going to get that started early. No waiting 15 whole years to get to it, I'm fixing that ASAP.
Speaking of girls Naruto had kissed by the end of the series, one of them was barging straight into the classroom now.
"HAH! I won! I get to choose the seats first Ino!"
Huh, Sakura actually didn't sound too much like a banshee.
"Ahh, alright...sheesh, shouldn't have given you a head start…"
Ino barely jogged in from behind the pinkette, clearly out of breath. I caught her looking around in confusion, giving her friend a questioning look.
"Alright forehead, where are we gonna sit?"
"Well that's pretty easy, we just have to...w-whooah!" Sakura suddenly went wide-eyed at the sight of Sasuke, a light blush dusting her cheeks. To her, his need for space due to his PTSD probably make him look dark, serious, and broody. I could already tell how that was gonna go.
Ino however, caught me in her sights. Instead of her friend's dumb look of infatuation, the Yamanaka's face began growing beet-red as she stared at me. When I looked over to her with my flat expression of annoyance that I called the "Jotaro stare", she wobbled as though she was about to lose her footing. I suddenly realised that she wasn't the only person staring at me like that. Almost Half of the female members of the student body, and a few of the boys too, were giving me similar looks, the other half giving the Uchiha a similar look to Sakura's, and there was only one exception to all this. I knew exactly what each of these two looks meant, and I inwardly cursed myself.
This fucking Joestar sex drive...it attracts women like flies, and it hasn't even begun to develop yet.
"I-Ino, do you see Sasuke? He looks so..." the pinkette weakly called to her friend as she motioned to Sasuke.
"Hmmm? Oh yeah, he's really cute but...look over there Sakura," the blonde girl pointed me out. "Look at him...isn't he just so...ohhh…"
"...Yare Yare Daze" I muttered under my breath. Unfortunately, a good few of the girls heard it and swooned. I couldn't believe this, all I'm doing is acting like my favorite manga character and saying his catchphrase. How the hell does that suddenly make me the "Pussy Demolisher 9001"? Wonderful, doing shit like this in my old world this would get you laughed at or something.
I was so focused on the situation of the important characters walking in, and my newfound girl problems, that I hadn't noticed the asshole yelling at Iruka earlier had disappeared. Come to think of it, Iruka was actually looking over to me nervously. I didn't even have time to realize the significance of this before I felt a shadow loom over me.
"Ahem!"
I turned to my left to see the other academy teacher that had been chewing Iruka out for some reason, now standing over me ゴmenacinglyゴ, holding a ruler in his hand and smacking it into his palm. Now that I saw him up close though...wow, those were some serious fish lips. Like, good Kami they were fucking huge. I raised my cap to give him a better view of my eyes while I looked at him.
"Can I help you with something, sensei?" I drawled out, hoping he caught how annoyed I was when I said "sensei".
"Yeah, maybe you want to sit up straight and take your feet off the table, huh gaki?!" he growled out, leaning down to the point that his freaky fish lips were only inches away from my face. "I don't give a shit if you wanna act tough, you're gonna be playing by my rules kid."
Oh shit, this was my chance. This was it, here and now I was going to prove how much of a delinquent I was. Back in my old life, I was always on the receiving end of the sort of behavior I was going to emulate, and my family wouldn't have allowed me to even think about acting that way. But now, no parents to reign me in, so it's free game.
"...Get lost asshole! Go find somewhere else to stroke your big ego, I can tell you now though, it probably isn't as big as your ugly ass lips."
Despite the fact that I looked calm on the outside, the inside was a raging storm. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I had to do my best to control my breathing. This was the point of no return, there was no going back.
Especially since the fish-lipped asshole took exception to that.
"YOU ROTTEN LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT! WANNA RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN?!" the creep yelled out, raising his ruler to hit me. "YOU BETTER LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS GAKI!"
*VRRRRRRRRRRRRmmmmmmm*
Half a second of stopped time and one of Star Platinum's arms. That was all I needed to put this piece of trash in his place. When I willed time to resume, the man stopped mid swing, looking down at the ruler he was holding to find it was broken in two. The other half soon fell on his face, leaving a small welt on his forehead. He staggered back a bit, looking down at me in surprise. I stood up, glaring at him and sending a bit of killing intent to him and only him.
"Since we're in school, let that be the first lesson I teach you. Next time you try to piss me off, it'll be your nose instead of that ruler, understand?"
"...Y-yeah, I got it, I-I'll just, uh…" the guy back away nervously, clearly terrified of me. He immediately ran back to the front of the class, breathing heavily and giving me nervous stares. I saw Iruka looking back at me unsuredly, but nonetheless he seemed to be relieved that he wasn't being chewed out by the bastard.
As for my little performance, well...it didn't go unnoticed by the female students of the class who were paying attention to me. The moment I went back to my seat and took my former position, I could just feel their longing stares on me. I was bracing myself for the days to come, because I just knew I'd find out why Jotaro was always angry at everything within the next few months.
As for Ino, she had taken a seat next to Sakura. Said pinkette was sitting next to Sasuke, making small talk with the nervous boy as he did his best to keep to himself. While Ino didn't move to sit right next to me, she did sneak the occasional glance my way. Well, at least both hadn't seen me, otherwise I'd have two of the main cast following me around like lovestruck puppies instead of one.
I let out another "Yare Yare Daze" at my situation. This was just perfect...
A figure barged through the door and I mentally braced myself. Almost all the other seats were filled, so this really could only be one person.
Naruto Uzumaki did not come in subtly. Hell, I don't think anybody wearing that bright a shade of orange would know the meaning of the word "subtle", let alone pull it off. Naruto stood at the center of class, flashing everybody a bright smirk and showing of his pointed teeth. There was a glint in his bright blue eyes as he yelled out to the entire classroom his proclamation.
"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm gonna be your next Hokage, Dattebayo!"
...Yeah, that was how I expected it really. If Naruto of all people had walked into the class and sat down quietly, I'd know then and there that this was all a figment of my imagination happening as I was drowning. But no, there he was calling out his dream with full confidence, like he should.
A lot of the class laughed at him. I could hear several jeers from the crowd of students, and some of the things I heard from them actually ground my gears. Naruto sent some of them a sharp scowl, not backing down in the slightest. Iruka looked back to the guy who was probably supposed to be our teacher, sighing in exasperation at the idiot's antics as I sent him another glare. Iruka turned to the blonde boy, and made his head expand to a monstrous size.
"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP GAKI!"
"GAAAH! Yes sensei, right away sensei!" Naruto called out, scrambling to find a seat. Of course, too many kids were unwilling to let him near them, muttering about how their parents told them about "that kid". Then he came to my aisle, which had been avoided like the plague due to my appearance. The blonde looked at me questioningly, giving me that puppy-dog eye look that I couldn't handle.
"Hmph...go ahead and sit if ya want, I don't bite or anything" I growled flatly. Naruto blinked a couple of time, before flashing me a grin and taking his seat.
"Alright then, I'm Iruka-sensei. Since Mikihito-sensei is...well," Iruka looked back to the dark-haired man with a grimace."I'll be doing roll call, when I say your name call out that you're here. Ok, Hyuuga Hinata…"
After hearing the girl's squeak of "here", I tuned out most of the class. I did recognize almost the entirety of the the rookie 9 being called out while I nearly dozed off. I only started paying attention when I heard Naruto's name being called out, followed by several stifled giggles. The blonde sent a scowl to the back seats before calling out loudly that he was there.
"Alright then...Joushuya Joushirou!"
"Present!" I called out flatly, ignoring every look I got from the girls now enamoured with me or the boys wanting to have a crack at me.
"Alright, everybody get your history textbooks out! We're going to start reading about the founding of Konoha!" the scar-faced man called out, giving the class a flat look when several students let out stereotypical groans. "Quiet, all of you! Turn to page eight of your textbooks and get to reading!"
While some of the other kids were grumbling as they pulled their textbooks out, I could see a look of relief on Iruka's face. My guess would be that this was going to be his first year as an actual academy teacher, instead of the TA. While I went to my pack and pulled my history book out, I noticed my new desk neighbor looking around in confusion. Naruto looked utterly lost as he watched our classmates pull out their books. Looking at his bag, I could tell just by looking at it that it wasn't as filled as it should have been.
"H-hey, Iruka-sensei! Where were we supposed to grab our textbooks from?" the blonde called out, standing up with a raised hand. "I don't actually have one, and I'm not sure where to buy them…"
Iruka looked at Naruto like he had been told how King Crimson was supposed to work. The scar-faced man blinked owlishly at the blonde for a few seconds before shaking his head. Behind him I could see the other teacher, Mizihito, smiling cruelly with his fucked up lips.
"N-Naruto, you're supposed to be given all the required textbooks and scrolls you'll need for the academy after you've applied…" Iruka trailed off, realizing something when he saw the blonde's confused expression. "Did...did you really not get all that stuff?"
"No, I didn't! I was only told to bring writing utensils and all that crap, nobody gave me any textbooks…"
Fish-lips-sensei's smile got bigger, and I sent him a pointed glare. I had figured out from looking in the mirror that my already cat-like eyes would narrow into slits when I gave people the stink eye, so I probably looked more intimidating. Miki-whatever saw this and shrunk a bit, causing me to smile internally. I couldn't help but feel pity for Naruto when I looked back to him. The poor kid looked so lost, and I could see the other kids giving him stares. By now I was already hearing more whispers about him, and I really couldn't believe some of the things kids were muttering under their breath.
This was going to be a really bad idea...but if I didn't do it, I'd be just like every other person in Naruto's childhood. Plus, if I didn't help him out here and now then I wouldn't deserve to call myself a Joestar from then on, would I?
"Here, you can borrow mine," I drawled out, holding my textbook out to him. "I've read it enough that I can commit it to memory…"
Naruto blinked at me a few times, clearly shocked.
"A-are you sure about that?"
"Yeah, it's no skin off my back. Don't worry about me, I can deal," I said, giving him a dismissive hand wave.
"Gee, thanks!" the blonde cried out, giving me a smirk as opened to page eight.
I just vaguely noticed a few of my new classmates giving me spiteful glares. At the front of the class, I could see Iruka flashing both me and my desk neighbor an unsteady smile. Behind him, fish-lips-sensei was giving me and Naruto a scowl which included bared teeth. I didn't give him any breathing room, giving him another sharp glare to remind him of earlier. I could see his eyes widen just a bit as he took half a step back, still scowling from his spot behind Iruka.
So far, everything was going as I could have hoped...for the most part. Aside from catching a magical bug, swearing at a teacher and breaking his ruler, and having girls go gaga over me, it was mostly the same situation as my old life. I got through school once…
Shouldn't be hard to go through it again, right?
So...in hindsight, learning the shunshin and showing it off wasn't the best of ideas. How did I learn it and why would I want to learn it? I accidentally came across a Jōnin drilling his team on it. All it really used was the tiger seal, so it wasn't difficult to outright mimic it. The problem was that I had only practiced with it once beforehand, and I moved a good several meters and got exhausted afterwards. So if I wanted to use it for greater distances, improving my chakra reserves was probably a good idea. Until then, I thought I'd try to show restraint and not show it off.
Then, near the end of the school day we were told to show off a jutsu we knew so the academy teachers could get a good grip on our skill levels. It turned out that over two-thirds of the class knew the kawarimi, so when we were told to show off a jutsu we knew I realized that I would look bland as hell by following the herd. That wasn't helped by Sasuke who, due to all the peer pressure, used his grand fireball technique which wowed the "audience". Plus side, he did turn a bunch of the girls to his side from mine, so I couldn't be too mad that he was showing off.
But I at least had to stand out just a bit. So when Iruka called me up, I put my hands into the tiger seal and shunshined right behind him. While he did look pretty surprised, I was more ecstatic about some of the other academy teachers whispering about how impressed they were for, "somebody so young learning a general skill like that ahead of time". Some of those were definitely sarcastic, but since academy students weren't supposed to be taught the shunshin I could hear a few genuine reactions.
Since I only used the jutsu once, I didn't get too exhausted. But once school was out, I was just about ready to head home and literally fall onto my bed to take a nap. The only thing stopping me from doing that immediately was the prospect of Ichiraku ramen. Oh, and a couple of people were following me.
Well, that would be inaccurate now that I looked at it the right way. Only one of them was following me in particular. The other was following the person following me...is it a weird to not see that as abnormal? Because it doesn't sound abnormal when I think on it. I'll deal with my own mental conditioning later, I should probably handle my stalker.
I rounded into an alleyway and, after walking through it for a bit, stopped and turned around.
"Alright, you can come out now!" I called.
In the blink of an eye, Naruto dashed from his hiding place and stood a few feet in front of me.
"Yo, I just came to give you your textbook back," the blonde said cheekily, flashing me a grin as he held the book out to me.
"...Oh! You know, you could have just called out to me instead of following me," I told him, raising my eyebrow in suspicion.
"Well yeah I know that, but...uh…" Naruto looked around nervously, giving me an unsteady smile.
...ah, so he was afraid all the other villagers would give him stares or chew him (or me) out for talking and stuff. Hell, I'd be willing to bet he was afraid of being accused of stealing the book from me. Although, considering the track record Joestars usually have when people attack or mug us, Naruto probably would have been fine.
"Oh, thanks," I said, gently pulling the book from his hand and placing it back in my pack. "I still think it's pretty weird that you don't have textbooks though...you sure you didn't just misplace them or something?"
"No, and that's the thing! I would have remembered something that important, I just know it," the blonde yelled, making frenzied gestures with his hands. "I know I'm not exactly the smartest, but if I wanna be hokage someday then I gotta learn all that I can!"
"...Well, that's not untrue I guess."
"Yeah, nice to know somebody agrees with me...just one thing though Joushirou," he growled out, getting right into my face. "How did you know I was following you? I've been able to hide from even those guys in the masks and stuff, so give me a proper answer."
I blinked a few times, making sure my expressionless mask didn't slip, before turning my head with my eyes closed, giving him a "Jotaro scowl".
"Are you kidding? Besides that I have pretty strong senses, you're talking a load of shit if you think you could hide from anybody in that" I drawled out, motioning to his bright orange jumpsuit, the shirt portion tied around his waist.
"Eh?! Are you kidding, this thing is useful! Tigers are orange and they hide just fine!"
"Tigers also eat things that are colorblind, or that can't properly perceive things in bright light," I responded, looking at the kid like that was obvious.
"...Eh, ok yeah you got me there…Hey, where are you off to anyway?"
"A ramen stand I like to eat at," I replied flatly.
"Oh man, I could go for a bowl of ramen. I know this great place, Ichiraku's, Teuchi-jiji makes the best miso…" it took a few seconds of me raising an eyebrow at him and him smiling dumbly at me before he sweatdropped in realization. "You...you were already heading there weren't you?"
"Yeah, it's the only ramen joint that actually has good noodles…" I said, turning around to walk off. "Well, you coming or what?"
Naruto blinked at me in surprise, before smiling cheerily at me and trailing behind me as we left the alleyway. I looked out of the corner of my eyes, noticing a flash of dark blue hair zip behind a nearby building. I had to stop myself from smirking at that, which was easy since I could already tell I was getting stares from the rest of the villagers.
"So, what did you mean by Ichiraku's being the only good ramen joint?" Naruto asked.
"I mean that I tried a bunch of other ramen restaurants in the village, and their food tasted like utter shit," I growled, waving my hand around expressively. "If I ever go to a restaurant and the food is shit, then I make it a point to stiff 'em with the bill."
"Well, that's pretty...bold I guess," the blonde said unsuredly. I simply responded with a "hmph", as we began walking down a familiar street. Soon enough we found ourselves at the ramen stand, and Naruto made a loud cry as he charged in.
"Yo Teuchi-jiji!"
"Naruto! Good to see you, how was the academy?" the old man smiled over at the blonde, then his eyes almost opened when he spotted me. "Eh? Joushirou, did you walk in with him?"
"Yeah, while we were on our way here he wanted to give me back the textbook I let him borrow," I motioned to my pack. "Then we found out we're both regulars at this place, so…"
Teuchi gave me a soft smile as he "looked" over to me. I gave him a brief smile back as my classmate and I took our seats.
"Well, it's nice to see you two got through your first day at the academy...so the regular, for both?" he asked us.
"Hah, you know it Teuchi-jiji...wait, Joushirou, what's your regular?" the blonde asked me, tilting his head in confusion.
"Teriyaki and beef ramen with onions and some roasted pork," I said frankly.
"Wow...that's gonna be a lot of meat y'know?"
"Yeah, I'm aware. My family has a big thing for meat," I said, cupping a hand to my chin. "My hiijiji actually started something called "experimental vengeance cooking"...it's not something I'd like to go into detail about though."
Naruto looked at me in bewilderment, while Teuchi just shook his head.
"Hey, Ayame!" he called out towards the back of the shop. "You done back there? We got customers to serve out here!"
"I'm coming tou-san!" the girl called, walking out while holding two boxes of food and cooking supplies.
"Hey Ayame-nee, how's it going?" Naruto yelled from my side. The girl turned her head and smiled at him, obviously too used to his yelling to have been surprised.
"Hey Naruto-chan, it's nice to see-oh, hi Jojo!" she chirped out, causing Naruto to do a double take.
"Eh, J-Jojo?"
"...it's her nickname for me," I answered, rubbing the back of my head in annoyance.
"Yeah, it's because the first parts of his name and family name are the same, so I call him Jojo."
"I'm really ok with only my friends calling me Jojo though…" I said, internally wincing when I realized my mistake.
"Huh?! Does that make us friends Jojo?" Ayame asked, giving me puppy-dog eyes.
"Uh...yeah, sure Ayame, since you did come up with it…"
"Yay!"
"Wait, what about me?!" Naruto called out, turning to me. "Do I get to call you Jojo?"
Fuck! I was barely prepared for this, and I didn't quite know how to react.
For starters, if I were a selfish person in situation I'd be thinking "oh, make friends with the main character! They're literally a living form of life insurance"...at least, that's how it worked in a bunch of fanfictions I had read. The self-insert would become friends with the protagonist of whatever series they were reincarnated in, and they'd be set for life. But if I were being honest then yeah, that would have been something that crossed my mind.
...If I weren't a Joestar...as in, the living antithesis to life insurance. If I made friends with anybody, my very existence would be a danger to their lives. I can list over a dozen people who have died because they started down that exact path of being friends with a Joestar. Hell, the entire Zeppeli family has some weird prophecy where their members are fated to die for a member of mine. If we did become friends, there was a good chance Naruto would be killed by whatever bizarre shit I got caught up in.
On the other hand, Naruto had a giant fox monster inside of him. I had seen the stares sent his way, and I'd heard the whispers too. He was utterly despised by the populace, and there were only three people aside from myself who thought any different. Yeah, in canon everything turned out great but any sane person would feel bad for the kid.
"...Yeah, sure Naruto. You can call me Jojo if you want," I said nonchalantly, unable to fight back a small smile when his face morphed into an elated expression.
Welp, no going back now... I've definitely messed things up in the long haul. I've probably changed the course of the entire series just by existing, but I don't think anybody would doubt how much he needs a friend. Besides, regardless of what I changed from canon…
Eh, I guess I'll just wing it…
←To Be Continued
Stand: Star Platinum
User: Jōshuya Jōshirō
Destructive Power: B(subject to change due to user's age)
Speed: A
Range:C
Durability/Persistence: B(subject to change due to user's age)
Precision: A
Developmental Potential: A
Abilities(so far): Great physical strength and near light-speed movements. Is far more precise than even well-trained surgeons. Possesses enough awareness to work towards the self-preservation of its user, both by stopping time to prevent Jōshirō from being crushed, stopping a bottle from hitting his head, and preventing a chakra-eating insect from possibly biting him.
Can extend fingers to great lengths, allowing it to perform sneak attacks or jab at opponents out of its range. If needed, has a number of other abilities that might not be useful for every situation, and may not be needed again. For example, using its superhuman lung capacity(or analogue to such) to suck in air and anything else taking up that space into itself, compressing it.
Can stop time for 2-3 seconds, causes minimal physical strain on the user's heart. Attempting to go past the set limit will cause increasing damage to user's heart. Time limit can be possibly increased through outside factors.
There we go, along with some stand stats for Jōshirō's version of Star Platinum. I kind of went off of conjecture about Josuke and Kakyoin, both had their stands since they were young and Jōshirō had his since age six, so the development would mean it would actually grow with the user as they aged. Now then, onto the reviews!
Dark flame god: Thank you, I'm glad you like it. Yeah, their history will be expanded just a bit, but that's several chapters out. I'd suggest reading on spacebattles, as any new chapters will go there first.
DragonNOOB: I'm glad you liked the story, and as for it being a fun and "strange"-(you could almost say bizarre) ride, yeah it is. But if I'm being honest the power to stop time won't be enough against Pein, Madara,or Kaguya/the other alien dudes. Also, DIO is going to be powered up based on Naruto levels and given some new vampiric abilities to compensate for the rest of the ninja, and not long after Jōshirō graduates I'll be sure to introduce a couple of OC stand users that might not ever appear again (I:E, RETIRED).
Again, thank you for the followings and reviews. For everybody else, please leave any thoughts, questions, and constructive criticism in your reviews.
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