Chapter 4: Happy Appy Part 4
November 2nd, 2011
This will be the first of three posts detailing Jim and I watching the contents of the DVD. Even though we are watching the disc, I still can't get over the fact that there's another season of Happy Appy. I really can't. As soon as the DVD loaded, we saw that it had a freeware DVD burner menu. Obviously, Forensik or whoever had made the disc did it as cheap as possible. I went to the episode menu and looked through the episodes for Season 1, in case there were any that I missed. The two distorted episodes for Season 1 were actually watchable, and were named:
Happy at the Fruit Olympics/Nate Needs Help
Happy in Space/Mean Miranda
I pressed next and found the entire episode list for Season 2:
Happy Meets the Rhubears/Camp Aaah!
Happy and the Oranges/Happy's Van Breaks
Lighter/Happy and Blackberry
Napoleon, the Big Help/Nuxik
Rose of Blood 'n Bones/Can of Kill
Jar of Hate/Happy's Rising
Happy Kills Benny/Miranda Lives
Miranda Dies (there's no second episode for some reason)
Napoleon, a Bigger Help/Meaner
Happy Appy's Christmas/Happy's House
Napoleon, the Biggest Help/Danny's Love
Happy Fest/Happy Rots in Hell
Epilogue
Judging from the names, we could only guess that Forensik made these. But who is he?
I played Happy at the Fruit Olympics, since that was one of the two episodes of Season 1 that I didn't watch. It began with Happy Appy saying "Hey kids! The Fruit Olympics begins today!" and watches TV. It zooms to the television set, and shows a recreation of the Olympic torch relay, but with fruit. After the torch holder (an apple) lights the Olympic Flame, the games begin. It's a cheesy compilation of sports played in the Olympics, but with fruit. It reminded me of the Circus episode's Act 1 scene, but visually a lot better. Happy turns to the camera and says "Hey kids! The 2000 Olympics begin in a year! You should go see it!" and the episode ends. When it ended, Jim told me that he actually remembered helping film the episode, and even did a few of the puppets with Kevin Christianson and Tristan Drews.
Happy in Space was next, and it was horrific. It starts out with Happy Appy sneaking on the Space Shuttle, and turns to the camera and says "Hey kids! Your old pal, Happy Appy, is going into space today!" and waits. The shuttle docks at a look-alike of the International Space Station. After all the astronauts leave, Happy sneaks out of the shuttle, and starts floating. He says "Did you know that in outer space, there is no gravity, meaning you float in mid-air?" He puts on a space suit and goes out of the 'ISS.' An astronaut is working on a broken part of the station.
Happy says "In space, no one can hear you talk, or scream for that matter!" and stabs the astronaut. We see him float off into space for around a minute. After this, Happy goes back in, and finds out that the shuttle is about to leave. Happy jumps in the Space Shuttle. The Space Shuttle begins to enter the atmosphere. Happy turns to the camera, says "Hey kids! Watch this magic trick!," and sets a man on fire. The shuttle starts to catch on fire, which is exactly like the scene in Happy's Trick! We see Happy Appy give a death smile as the shuttle is engulfed in flames. Happy jumps out before he gets burned, and lands in snow. He says "Hey kids! One day, you will see something like this on TV!" Behind him, the shuttle was breaking up into small pieces. The credits rolled.
I played Happy Meets the Rhubears/Camp Aaah! It starts with the intro, which is now an acoustic version of the intro. It begins with Happy Appy walking in the playground, with his injuries. He sees the green Rhubear running around, and Happy says "Hey, Mr. Teddy!" and the Rhubear doesn't respond. Happy says "Mr. Teddy, let's go find some kids to heal!" and Rhubear nods his head. They hear crying coming from the swings. Happy and the Rhubear walk over to a kid who hit his head on part of the swings that you sit on. Happy gets out some bandages and heals the kid. They hear a car ram into another. Happy turns around, and sees a long limousine crashing into a van, which wasn't Happy's. A man exits the car, and it turns out to be Aphex Twin himself.
He starts doing the dance with the umbrella, but it was just stock footage from Windowlicker hastily put together. Happy and the Rhubear walk up to him, and Happy says "Hey, who are you?" and Aphex says "My name is Richard!" and Happy says "Let's go find some children to heal!" and Aphex says "Sure!" The rest of the episode is just them healing children who injure themselves on various parts of the playground. When we first saw this episode, it was so tame for a Halloween special that I thought it was a Season 1 episode mislabeled as a Season 2 episode. Also, I told Jim "Why was the episode Happy and the Rhubears if only the green one is present?" He said that there would have been three, but they didn't have enough money to get the others.
We saw Camp Aaah. It starts with the intro, which was that CSI-like intro featuring the main characters, Happy, Napoleon (who could be forensik), and Danny from the TV Movie. Why was the acoustic version used once? It starts with Happy driving his van, saying "Who's ready for a camping trip?" with two girls in the passenger seats cheering. After driving for a while, Happy Appy parks in the camp, sets the washcloth, and sits on it next to the girls. After staring at the sky for a few seconds, the beach jock apple appears. Happy says "Move it, ladies" and it's much clearer this time. Suddenly, some sort of quality shift happened. Happy's voice was different, the girls looked different, and so did the bully.
It was almost like another person picked up where Nick left off and did a horrible job at it. Anyway, the beach jock apple says "Don't go on the beach!" and Happy says "Why?" The beach jock apple says "Because I said so!" and pushes Happy out of the way. Happy decides to go up the trail of the beach. What he finds are a bunch of children playing on the beach, and one is poking at something, out of view, with a stick. It turns to the object, which is Miranda's body. Happy screams "STOP DOING THAT!" and brings out a knife. The next shot showed the girls still sitting on the washcloth when they hear children screaming. One of the girls says "What happened?" and the other one says "Let's go find out!"
The two girls go to the beach, but what they find are a bunch of children's bodies in one horrifying pile. On the top of the pile was a bloodstained Happy Appy with a knife. He turns around with a death smile and says "Hey girls, I have a present for you! Come over here!" and they both walk over, and it cuts to the same place with the washcloth, now with both girls screaming. The episode ends with Happy Appy dragging some children back to his van and driving off, with this narration.
"And that, my friends, is how Camp Aaah got its name, from Happy Appy himself!"
Interestingly, there was whispering during the credits of the episode. They were very brief;
December 14th
We had no idea what that date meant. Was it supposed to be related to a season of the show?
I played the episode Happy and the Oranges. It starts with the same old intro of Happy Appy dancing, and it cuts to Happy killing the beach jock apple. This episode must have taken place after Camp Aaah! We see Happy Appy walking around the playground, with children at play. Happy sees something to the right. He sees two puppets that were oranges sitting on a bench. Happy walks to the bench and says "Hey, who are you?" and the oranges said "We're the Oranges!" and Happy said "Well, I'm Happy Appy!" and the oranges screamed and ran off. Happy shouts "Every goddamn time!" and goes into his van.
He goes to the Oranges' house in the middle of the night. The first Orange is watching TV, while the second Orange says "Hey, Oscar." He replied with "What, Octavius?" and Octavius Orange asks "Did you know that no words rhyme with orange?" Oscar Orange says "Oh, really?" Octavius Orange finishes with "Yeah. You know what? I'm going to bed. Running from Happy sure tired me out!" and Oscar Orange nods, and continues to watch TV.
Happy Appy jumps into the roof of their house, with an orange peeler in his right hand. He whispers "Hey kids, let's go skin some oranges!" and Happy climbs down the ladder to where Octavius Orange is, and peels his skin. After that, he puts Octavius Orange in a vise, and starts turning the crank, making Octavius get 'squeezed.' After that, Oscar Orange knocks on the door, and Happy jumps into the ceiling. When Oscar Orange opens the door and turns on the light, he sees Octavius Orange's body, and screams. Happy Appy comes down from the ceiling, and peels and visits him in the same way as Octavius Orange, and the episode ends.
Lighter's premise was about Happy finding a Zippo lighter lying around on the playground. It starts with the regular old intro, but with the acoustic version. Why the acoustic version this time? It cuts to Happy walking on the playground. I have a question. If Happy kills a lot of children, why don't the children notice him instantly, or the parents? Happy stops, and picks up the lighter. He says "Hey kids, look what Happy found!" It cuts to Happy turning on the lighter. He says "Today, we're going to learn about fire!" We know what was most likely going to happen. Happy burns down houses and sets children on fire.
Happy Appy walks over to a living worm. He exclaims "Fire can badly hurt people, and in some cases, kill them, like this worm!" he set the worm on fire, and you can see its body turn into ashes. Happy said "Magnifying glasses can also set small insects on fire!" before walking over to a kid. The kid didn't recognize him, and Happy turned on the lighter, and set the kid on fire. The kid tried to stop, drop, and roll, but it was too late. Happy said "Let's go find a house to burn!" and Happy walks over to a house on a boardwalk and burns it down. The fire spreads, and the entire boardwalk catches on fire. The rest of the episode after that was Happy watching the place burn to the ground. At the end, he says in his cheerful voice "That was fun! You know, you should do just that to make me proud!" Jim said in a smug tone "Sure, let's totally follow an apple's words and burn shit down."
I played Happy and the Blackberry, which was two minutes short of a normal episode of Happy Appy. It starts out with a giant angry blackberry puppet saying "Hey, my name's Derry Berry, and I hate Happy Appy!" Derry runs toward Happy, who is putting medical tape and cotton on a kid's bloody gash near his wrist. Happy turns around holding scissors and Derry accidentally runs into them. Happy says "Remember kids, always look where you're going or you will get a boo-boo!" Derry pulls himself off the scissors and tries to eat Happy. Happy pushes him off, and stabs Derry in the eye with a scalpel. Derry screams, and Happy pulls the scalpel out, ripping Derry's eyeball out in the process. Happy grabs a rusty saw and slowly hacks him in two. The rest of the episode shows Derry's body after Happy cuts it in half.
I played Napoleon, the Big Help. It began with Happy trying to kill June (just to clarify, this June is Danny's mother). He is struggling to kill with the same way he used to kill Derry Berry with, while June is trying to stab him in the face with a knife. Happy says "Master, master, please come and help me!" and Forensik, in all of his 'glory' walks in slowly, and says "Yes, Happy Appy?" Happy says "This woman is trying to kill me!" Forensik says "Let me help!" and Forensik stabs June in the back, weakening her.
The rest of the episode was basically a snuff film, recorded on a low-quality home camera. What Forensik did on camera to June was absolutely horrifying, so I'll be quick on what Forensik did to her. First, he cuts off her arms with a scimitar knife slowly and painfully. After that, he proceeds to cut off her legs with the same cleaver, and starts skinning her. After minutes of skinning, she dies, and Forensik cheerfully says "Oh no!" He pulls her guts out, and starts eating them. After 20 hard-to-watch minutes, he finally stops. Thank God. After that horrifying scene, Danny from the TV movie comes in crying and sets Happy on fire.
Forensik threatens to kill Danny, he runs off-screen, and Forensik walks out with the scimitar knife. Finally, the Happy Appy model melts, ending the episode. Jim's reaction was, and I quote, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" I had the same reaction, but in a quieter voice. We had a lot of questions about this episode. Why was Forensik in it? Did Forensik make the episode, or did one of his friends? For that matter, did Forensik really make the episode? I don't know. And we really didn't want to know.
I played Nuxik, which was actually called Happy Goes Bonkers. It starts out with a girl forming Happy into his normal shape, but drops a garrote wire next to Happy. Happy grabs the wire and, off-screen, cuts her throat open with it. After that, he says "Hey kids! I'm going to kill Danny!" The rest of the episode is Happy Appy going around, using disguises to try to kill Danny. They include the spacesuit from Happy in Space, the costume in Happy Appy Goes to the Circus, and Octavius Orange and Derry Berry's skin. Somewhere, Danny finds out that Happy is trying to kill him. After the 5th attempt, Happy, like the title says, goes bonkers. He rants to the camera at how he never has his way. After five minutes of ranting, he stares at the camera motionlessly, and the episode ends.
I said to Jim that we would watch the next third tomorrow, and so I left. The thing is though, as I left, I swear I saw Forensik walking up the street, but it was so dark that it could have been anyone else.
November 3rd, 2011
Welcome to the second part of the Happy Appy Episode Watching post.
In Rose of Blood 'n Bones, we see Happy Appy painting a picture with red paint. The picture is of a rose in a playground. It was innocent enough, until we see Happy Appy run out of red paint. He says "Damn it! Oh, whoops! Hey kids, let's go find some red paint and white sticks!" We see Happy go out to his van and lure in two kids, and see him mutilate them off-screen. It cuts to Happy painting the same picture, but we now see him with more 'red paint' and 'white sticks' as the stalk of the rose. After a minute, he finishes the painting. He shows the end result, and says "My masterpiece is complete. I call it "The Rose of Blood 'n Bones." Hey kids, you too can make a painting using body parts and blood! If you make one, send it in to me and I will give you a prize!" The video ends before the address was shown.
In Can of Kill, we see Happy cleaning out some large tin cans, and working on mechanics in his van. After a few minutes, Happy notices the camera, and says "Hey kids, I'm working on my can contraption!" and goes back to working on the can. It cuts to a tin can in the middle of the playground that has the note "OPEN ME!" on it. Happy comes from the left and says "Whenever someone opens the can of kill, a spray bottle pops out, and sprays the kid with poison! This is my best invention ever, and it should get me a Nobel Prize. Well, mostly for peace!" While he is talking his mouth off, we see a kid named Quincy open the can, gets hit with some sort of poisonous gas, and gets knocked out. Happy notices Quincy's body and says "Hey it works! You too can make a can of kill! All you need to do is send five dollars to this address and you can wipe out anyone that hates you!" and an address was listed. Before the credits played, Happy drags Quincy's body into the van.
I played Jar of Hate. Happy is sitting in his van when he says "Hello kids! Do you want to see my jar of hate?" A kid walks up to him and says "Happy, hate is a strong word!" In response, Happy says "Shoo, Jacob!" and pushes him away. Happy proceeds to write Jacob's name on a blank piece of paper, and places it into a jar of names. Happy says "My jar of hate has the names of people I will kill! Let's see who's going to be the lucky ones!" He empties the jar, and picks out three names. Happy says "The people I will kill are Jacob, Miranda, and Danny!" He sneaks behind Jacob with the cleaver from Big Help, jumps behind him, and the credits roll, while you can hear Jacob being killed in the background and Forensik screaming "STAND STILL!"
I played Happy's Rising. It starts with Happy healing a kid using a bandage, but he says "Hey kids, want to come have fun with me and Benny?" Everyone, including Benny, comes running into Happy Appy's van. However, to trick Happy Appy, Benny leaves quickly and silently. It shows Happy with a hand grenade and he says "Want to see a cool trick?" Of course, the children shout yes. Happy throws a smoke bomb, drops the grenade, and gets out of the van. We see a child screaming as the van explodes into a thousand pieces. The scene is very realistic, with body parts everywhere. Happy polishes a toe, puts it in a jar, and puts the jar in a mysterious brown bag which has been in the background since the Blackberry episode for whatever reason. Benny runs over to Danny, who is playing with a girl. Benny says "Happy tried to kill me!" and Danny says "Well, at least you're safe with me here." and the episode ends.
I played Happy Kills Benny. It starts out with Benny playing at the playground, but he notices Happy and his new van, which was all black this time around. He says to his parents that he wants to go home because someone is staring at him funny. His parents look at the area Happy was, but he is not there. They said "No one's there, though." and Benny calms down. Benny sees Happy again, and Benny runs towards his parents. He says that Happy is stalking him, and the parents see Happy, but he's helping a kid. The parents say that Happy's just helping a kid. Later, Benny finds a twenty dollar bill. He picks it up, but Happy stabs him. Happy drags the body into his van, and it cuts to the credits; with a brutal murder being played.
Miranda Lives starts to play. It starts out with a piano version of the song sung by three of the five original kindergarteners (they were presumably in first or second grade when the episode premiered). The intro showed clips from Happy and the Oranges, Happy Kills Benny, Camp Aaah, and two other episodes I haven't seen yet. It began with Miranda's body on the beach. We see another kid poke it with a stick, but Miranda mysteriously awakens, screaming loudly. She says "Happy Appy is going to pay for what he had done!" and runs towards the playground. We see Happy Appy working on another portrait of a rose, with several more nearby. Miranda throws open the van's sliding door and screams "Happy Appy, I am going to kill you RIGHT NOW!" and Happy says "Fine, do it. Kill me! Just try! You'll just end up feeling the wrath of Napoleon!" The episode ends.
Miranda Dies began. Miranda gets a knife and stabs Happy's arm, pinning him to the wall. Happy screams in pain and Miranda says "I finally have you in my grasp! Now, I will do what I have wanted for so long." Happy smugly says "What's that?" Miranda says "KILL YOU!" Suddenly, a shadowy figure looms over Miranda. It was none other than- guess who!- Forensik. He coldly says "The only murder that will happen today is yours." Miranda screams and tries to stab Forensik, but he slams her down on the table Happy uses to cut up kids. At this point, it's quite clear that whoever worked on this episode used an obvious stunt double for Miranda, as her skin and hair was darker. Forensik brings out the scimitar knife, and begins cutting her open. She screams in horror, and as soon as she screams, he's irritated. To stop her screaming, Forensik gets a random piece of wood on the floor and shovels it in her mouth, silencing her.
Forensik opens her up, and starts cutting organs out, eating parts of them in the process. By this point, Jim turned the TV off, and decided to take a break. We really had to. A few hours later, he went back to the video, and we were greeted by more sickening scenes, which I will describe briefly. To put in a nutshell, there's cannibalism, necrophilia, limb dismemberment, and skinning. Yeah. After that, Forensik turns to the camera, smiling, holding a chunk of Miranda's brain. The episode ends. That's it. Jim and I can't do any more episodes. From here, they're just going to get more fucking sickening. I can't do it, and yet I feel some strange wish to watch the rest. Alright, we'll watch the rest tomorrow. But after that, I'm destroying the DVD.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone