Chapter 4: Chapter IV - What?
"Come back here, Derpy the Derphog!" I yelled pointing at him with finger guns hoping that it was dark enough to see nothing but my silhouette to scare him thinking I had actual double handguns. Impressively, he climbed a dumpster to get to a small rooftop which he then used to get to a higher rooftop. Throwing the bag first before picking it up and running again.
I climbed the dumpster to get to the rooftop as well, but in the process I hurt my hands and my stomach. My right hand bled but I was not gonna let that stop me from catching the bastard. I licked some of the blood away, its metallic taste embraced my taste buds.
I climbed the higher rooftop as well and this time I had no injuries, and continued to chase down the bastard. He seemed to have memorized the smallest details of the rooftops as if this was not his first time.
"YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME THAT FUCKING SACK!" I yelled
"NO I WON'T!" He yelled back
"THAT IS THE SHITTIEST BULLSHIT I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY SHITTY LIFE!"
"THE SHITTIEST BULLSHIT YOU'VE EVER HEARD IN YOUR SHITTY LIFE WAS WHEN YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND TOLD YOU SHE LOVED YOU!" He made me wish I had an actual gun so I could just shoot him immediately. I thought detectives were given guns.
"YOUR FACE IS SHITTIER!"
I started to cramp on the left side of my body just above the waist.
"WAIT!" I yelled catching my breath "What a stupid thing to say while catching someone" I whispered to myself. I looked up and there he stood catching his breath as well. I made a facial expression that the simple-minded can already read as the face of a person asking "What?"
"You" he was also catching his breath "You said wait!"
I thought that, for a suspect, he sure was polite. Still breathing hard, I took one step towards him and the man took one step away from me. Both of us continued to catch our breaths. A step closer and he stepped further, another step closer and another step further until finally I had enough breath to run at him, he had enough breath too to run away. He jumped from one rooftop to another and I almost died mimicking his moves just to get to him. I continued to chase him when a shiny object flew through his left leg amputating it and flying off. Both halves of the leg bled on the floor. He fell down screaming in pain, dropping his sack to me and I started to feel butterflies in my stomach from watching blood squirt out in real life. I found a round blade stuck on the chimney that the man was next to. It did not look like a shuriken, it was a round blade I had never learned of. Tracing it to where it came from I saw Jane in an after-throw position with her right arm pointing towards me and her hand open. Two police officers were next to her. I presumed she called them, but I wondered if they actually did not mind absurdly amputating a limb of a suspect.
"What the fuck was that?" I asked her after I got down with the sack. The two police officers were asking the suspect some questions in an ambulance.
"Some questions are better left unanswered" She said.
"Yeah but, was it necessary to do that?" I dropped the sack infront of her. "I almost died chasing the man, then I see his leg go Final Destination, and all this because a crazy old man lost a flock of sheep!"
"I didn't think the blade was that sharp"
One of the two officers walked up and said that the man wanted to talk to me.
"Who are you?" I asked
"I am a man who has a dream" he answered poetically
"I meant your name, dimwit"
"Pepe E. Roni"
"YOUR REAL NAME, GODDAMMIT!" I cried
"Okay fine! sheesh, calm the fuck down. My name is Mark Jameson"
"Good" said I. "Now what business do you have for a flock of sheep and how did you take them without a trace?"
"What flock of sheep?" he asked. His body language indicated that he was not pretending to not know about a flock of sheep. "I confess that I murdered people and stole things without a trace, including a lot of things from an old boomer with an empty farm. But, I-"
"What did you just say?" I asked in shock. "Did you say 'Empty'?"
"Yes"
"Oh my freakin' faulty brain" I said as I sank my head onto my hands "Of course! The man was fucking delusional. I almost died for a hallucinated flock of farm animals! Jane, what's in the sack?"
"Cotton" she answered
"This is not why I asked for you, but okay" said Marc.
"Why did you ask for me then?" I asked
"I recognized you from a photo sent to me a few months back" He explained "The man who sent it to me said he'd been watching me for quite some time and knew what I was capable of, how I do things, and why. He said he'd give me a thousand bucks if I assassinate you. I didn't know why you were targeted, though, he never explained. But then he changed his mind when he saw your deduction skills a week before applying for a job as a detective which I thought was kinda dumb considering the fact that it could happen to everyone applying as a detective"
"Did he tell you what you can call him? A man so mysterious wouldn't just give his name so simply"
"He said the people he hired called him 'Cupcake' " He said with a serious face and a serious tone of voice.
"Well, I didn't know what kind of name I was expecting but it wasn't that" I implied and started having a mental breakdown from the things that had just happened so far. "Take this moron away!" I told the two officers before walking back to Jane.
"You're pretty crazy" I complimented
"Thank you" she said
"The only person who had interest in helping me solve my first case is crazy." I laughed
"Yes, you'll get used to it"
"I almost died flying off a windshield and chasing some idiot who got his leg amputated only to find out that the answer to this case was that there was no flock of sheep, oh no no, just a hallucinated fuck of farm animals by a deaf old guy who knows how to use Skype. And then I discover the nickname of a strange dickhog which is 'Cupcake'!"
"And the surname of your first companion is Surname" She added
"Yes! Thank you!" I said sarcastically. "I don't know if we'll get together again for my next case. But I hope if it does happen you won't be as crazy. Now where's your broken car? I need someone to drive me home because i'm no mood to take a cabbie"
"Oh by the way" she said as she escorted me to her car "I didn't finish the story"
"No" I raised my hand
"You sure? I'll forget most of it tomorrow"
"I don't want to hear any more woozles"
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