Chapter 12: Hug.
Change of P.O.V: Sam:
"I... I have a girlfriend..."
I don't even know how those words left my mouth, meeting Dan, Judy's advances that day, Brittney's sleeping face next to me and her gentle behaviour the day before, all those things made my head one big mess.
I knew that I hurt her, I shouldn't have said those words, but it had happened and I wouldn't be able to fix it.
I cried while leaving Judy standing there frozen, the further I moved, the more pain and guilt I felt, I knew what I was doing, I was cutting her like everyone who ever cared for me, it felt painful, suffocating, and lonely, but I had too, I already sacrificed too much for my relationship with Brittney and I had to make it work.
Brittney loved me, and she was the only one left for me, I had already hurt a lot of people, my close friends, Dan, mom and finally, that day I hurt another person, Judy.
Brittney was probably right, she was the only one who would stay with such a horrible person as me.
She did have a few problems but those were mostly my fault, she never acted that way at the beginning of our relationship, she was a lovely person, she only started changing a while after we started dating, and whenever she shouted at me, pushed me or tried to recreate what happened that day... She would explain to me how it was always my fault.
She was usually such a lovely person, way too different from when she acts up, that along with what she said made me believe her, 'she's a lovely person but it's my mistakes which makes her act like that, I should be better, for her... For us.'
She hated me spending time with my friends and thought that I wasn't faithful enough, so I should stop meeting them and was careful about how I was around them.
She hated how irresponsible I was with my money, then giving it to her so she can use it better for the sake of the both of us was the best thing to do.
She said that we should move because no one will accept us in my home town, So we moved and came here to live.
She loved me since the beginning and her love for me never changed...
I hid in a dark corner where I calmed myself before taking a taxi back home.
I opened the door slowly, fearing that she was there, I knew that she would be able to see that something was wrong with me, that she would ask me about it, and that I won't be able to lie to her.
Fortunately, she wasn't home.
Releasing a breath of relief, I took a bath and changed before leaving to my room, Brittney had made it clear yesterday that we still had to stay in separate rooms, we only spent a night together because she wanted to apologize.
Lying on my bed my thoughts started wandering again, most of them were about Judy, her smile, her touch, the feel of her lips on my palm, and finally the frozen expression she had at the end.
Fighting the tears and sobs, I finally fell asleep, way too early Than usual.
The next day, I finished my morning routine like a machine before heading to work.
I couldn't remove the thought of how might Judy react to me from my mind, will she simply ignore me? Force a smile and act as if nothing happened? Or she might even ask the manager to change her shift back...
With those thoughts I pushed the door to the shop, I only saw the manager when I did, I got a horrible feeling when I saw that, if Judy stopped coming because of what I did, I knew that I would blame myself to no end.
I greeted the manager before heading to the staffroom to change, as I pushed the door my eyes met with a pair of shinning brown eyes.
I got shocked and took a step back, then I recognized the owner of the eyes and started panicking, it was Judy.
I stood frozen for a bit before I forced a smile as I entered and closed the door behind me:
"He- Hey Judy..." That all I could say, and even saying just those few words was torture.
Judy just looked at me all over for a few seconds before taking long strides towards me.
I panicked as I didn't know what she wanted to do, but I didn't retreat I just stood there waiting for her to reach me.
After just a couple of seconds which seemed like ages to me, she reached me.
I kept my eyes on her's as she lifted her arms.
With my eyes opening wide and without her saying a single word, she just hugged me tightly, it seemed as if she was trying to make me a part of her.
As I said I already had a petite built while Judy was longer than average girls so being held by her was especially comforting and gave me a warm, safe feeling.
At first, I didn't even know nor understand what was happening, but then as I returned to my senses the first thought which came to my mind wasn't moving away or separating from her, but a weird sense of relief that she didn't react in any way I imagined, and that she was still that girl which would always take surprisingly weird moves with no indications of them at all.
Finally, after I don't know how long, she released me in a hurry and took a few steps back, and said with a faint blush and an embarrassed smile:
"So- sorry about that, I was just too worried about what happened yesterday, and how you seemed so out of it when we separated when I saw that you were well now, I... I just couldn't control myself, hope you didn't mind."
Seeing her flustered like that, a smile couldn't help but form on my face, not one of those forced ones I usually put, but a genuinely happy smile that surfaced without my control,
"It's alright... Judy."
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