Chapter 43: Part XLIII
It's been three days since the test and there's not a single scar nor pain in my body from the attack by Miranda. It's almost as if nothing happened but my reinforced nightmares is a sure evidence that taunts me guiltlessly.
Sean's been really up and doing lately, visiting often and getting me food frequently, too frequent I start to feel like livestock for sale. Sighing, I leave the bathroom after taking a long satisfying shower, something my body badly needed, with the scent of the strawberry shampoo I found clinging to me.
There's a short wine dress laid neatly on the bed with black flats beside it and I put them on quickly, knowing I spent much time in the bathroom and he'd be here anytime soon. The sleeves stops a little bit below my elbow, doing nothing at all in hiding my cuts, three deep scars.
"Ready yet?" Sean startles me, appearing on the couch.
"Why didn't you heal me when I cut myself?" I ask.
Since he could bring me back to life at the brink of death and heal my stab wounds from the test, he could also heal these ones, but he didn't.
"I wanted you to feel them." He says, "I wanted you to go through the pain and for the scars to remain there as a constant reminder of your suffering, so you wouldn't forget who you are and what you went through."
"But those are memories I try so hard to forget everyday." I respond and bite back the tears. These scars and the constant nightmares pose a threat to that goal.
"If you forget them," he asks, "why then are you here?" Looking at him speechless, I slowly try to understand what he means.
"You shouldn't forget," he stands up, holds out his hand for me to take and helps me up once I do.
"We can't select the memories we want to keep. They can only fade away with time and by the look of things, these ones are going to stay a really long time. You can only truly overcome your memories when you accept them."
He's right. I can't do away with them no matter how hard I try but the sooner I accept that they're my memories and they really happened, the better for me. I need to remember every bit of all that happened in order to know why I'm truly here, and to guide me.
"Good," he pats my head like a puppy and I glare at him playfully, swatting his hand away and smiling.
"I'm glad you're smiling now."
I'm glad I am too. Thanks to Sean being around regularly lately, I no longer hear voices, see things or hallucinate. I still miss Dylan badly but I can control my emotions a little bit now and even though the nightmares are terrifying and I can't sleep for the needed hours, I can manage a few minutes. It's not enough but it's progress, right?.
"Enough with the soppiness," I say and roll my eyes a little, not wanting him to know I'm even a tad bit grateful to him. "How's the meeting going to be like today?"
"Well," he sighs, "Miranda will have to be punished and since you passed the test, we'll discuss the wedding." I somewhat feel like pleading for Miranda but my heart jumps in my throat at the mention of 'wedding'. Taking a deep sigh, I nod slightly. I passed the test, I should have expected this.
Actually, I did expect it but you can never truly be prepared for a wedding with your late husband's killer.
"Any new rules for today?" I ask, sounding tired already.
"Nah," he smiles, "you already know them and to an extent how things work around here so I'm sure you can take care of yourself."
"Sure." I say skeptically. I thought I knew how to "take care of myself" until Miranda showed me the stuff she's made of. Sean's here now though, he won't let it repeat itself.
"Ladies first." He says and bows dramatically with his hands gesturing towards the door. Chuckling, I hit his head a little with my hand and rush out the door before he can retaliate.
"Ow." He says frowning out me once he meets me at the top of the staircase and I smirk before he grudgingly takes my hand as we walk down.
Surprisingly, I don't feel as nervous as I used to and the change in aura once we're at the table doesn't surprise me. He pulls back my seat when we get there and watches me sit before he does.
Not cowering away in fear like before, I look up to see everyone in their seats. Joe sitting handsomely beside me, Adrian with his signature straight face, Miranda hanging her head in shame and Sean looking as serious as ever with a poker face as well. Adrian looks at me but I look away immediately, my new found courage not enough to hold eyes with him.
"Straight to the matter at hand," Sean proclaims sternly, "does anyone have anything to say?"
"Well," Joe clears his throat nervously. "I'm sure Miranda didn't mean to disrespect you or go against the rules. She meant well but acted without wisdom and poor judgement. She regrets her actions and is willing to repent if given the chance."
"What good did she mean?" Sean asks
"She er," Joe responds sounding unsure, "she was just scared for the kingdom. Bringing in a human to rule is truly a great risk and I'm sure she just wanted to help out."
"In getting rid of her?" Sean asks and Joe remains silent, obviously out of excuses for her.
"Miranda," Sean says after a few seconds, "you know the gravity of your offence and what could have happened if we were a second late-"
"She would have died," she cuts him off rudely, ignoring Joe's silent reprimanding as well, "and even if I died as a result, it'd be written that I saved the kingdom with my life."
"To save to kingdom?" Sean asks stressing the word 'save', "was that really it? Or was it for your selfish interests?"
"I-i don't, I d-don't" she stutters at the accusation and I smirk. You'd think she was a good liar.
"Enough," Sean says, "no matter the reason, you committed a deadly offence and as such, you must be punished accordingly."
"No she won't." Adrian finally speaks up and the way Sean balls his fist below the table lets me know something's about to go very wrong.
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