Chapter 48: Luke
I woke up with the light and dark playing tricks with my eyes, replacing one another from one moment to the next. Clouds? I wondered, trying to turn my head where I lied in bed to get a look out of the window above my bed, a task that soon revealed itself to be impossible.
I closed my eyes, trying to achieve the impossible task of getting comfortable in my sweat-soaked bed and underclothes. No side I turned to would suffice, and the sporadic appearances of light that flashed across my eyes didn't help. What the hell kind of clouds were these? I opened my eyes, a new sense of determination to get up and see if I could block the window with anything to try to get back in bed until I turned around, looking through the window to see not clouds, but leaves, branches, trees, shore.
We're here. So why the hell did nobody wake me up?
I new sense of purpose and energy, I shot out of bed. I'd hoped to try to beat the rest of the crew's realization that I hadn't yet emerged from my room, but the metallic clang that sounded from my door told me that I'd failed in that regard.
"Luke." Zek called. "You up?"
"I'm up! I'm up!"
"Then get up, you lazy piker!"
What the fuck is a piker?
"I'm coming, asshat."
I heard his chuckle through the door as he left me to my own accord.
I was out of bed now and could see myself in the reflection of the mirror above the washing basin in my room. Hell. How long was I out?
It didn't matter. There was still water in the basin and reached in to splash some on my face until the whole of the water fell back into the basin between my fingers.
My hands were shaking.
I tried clamping down on my right hand with my left, but when the left was shaking just as furiously, it didn't do much to help.
The nightmares are over, Luke. I tried telling myself. You're in control again. I nodded to myself, as thought trying to cast aside my own worries. There'd been good dreams and bad dreams. It started mostly with the nightmares for the first part of the time I was out. The people I killed, the families I destroyed, the chills in the middle of the night (or day). It became hard to tell the difference at one point. Then those finally began to dim. And it was as though the world grew brighter, but the shadow remained. And there was that image. An image I'd seen before. Buildings burning, on a mountain peak, connected together by bridges, people screaming, burning. But who? People. Just people.
Then there were the good dreams. The people I saved. The new leaf. The person I could be. The person I had to be.
And while the shake in my hands slowed, I didn't want to take any chances. Besides, I needed more than a handful. I dunked my head into the water, letting it revive me from the nights' worth of terror and restlessness. I was awake.
I took off my underclothes as though I were peeling them off rather than disrobing, tossing them to the side of my room's door. I'll wash them later today. Naked, I opened my closet door, looking low to expect the pile of common clothes and armor, only to look up to find my armor neatly stacked on the shelves, helmet and breastplate on one shelf, leg and arm plates on the other. Next to that, neatly folded was the gray Fire Nation uniform that went under the armor, neatly folded and, I smelled, cleaned too.
As I pondered who, what, why, and how, I couldn't help myself from growing increasingly worried as the implications came to light. No. I hadn't been eating or drinking. There's no way they had to. Please tell me they didn't have to clean me. I stood there, nude for a few moments, trying however I could to rationalize an explanation that ended with them staying away from me in that sense, using my full bladder and desperate desire to shit as a hopeful, if not desperate attempt to say that they hadn't done so. The less I know, the better.
I found the underwear folded as well, grabbing it, sliding it on, one of Zeeda's many gracious gifts to us, including the clean spare uniforms and common clothes. I didn't know what the day had in store, so for the moment, not expecting the need to blend in any time soon by the primitive look of where we were outside, I settled for gray baggy pants, a dimmed brown tunic. Over it, always expecting the worst, I donned the Fire Nation armor plate, elbow guards, and knee guards, tucking the bagginess of the pants into the military boots, and, in accordance with the late winter day that it seemed to be outside, a light brown coat that I left unbound in the front, revealing the armor, hoping to dissuade any confrontation if it came to that. I buckled my belt around my tunic, sheathing my short sword, and lastly, in an easy to reach spot in my boot, my lucky knife, Danev's lucky knife before me.
Where are you now, Danev? You in the spirit world somewhere, floating around, one with peace, is your soul still trapped in your body I buried that fateful day, or are you just in the void, in the nothingness beyond?
It wasn't a question I wanted answered. Not now, at least. I'd find out when my own time came. And so I pushed the door to my room open, finally ready to meet the world that awaited me.
So after a quick trip to the latrines on board the ship rather than over the deck due to the magics of Fire Nation plumbing and engineering, I was on the main deck, gazing out in mystical delight at the world around us. Trees surrounded us on every side except for one miniscule passageway that itself was shrouded by bent over trees, shrouding the passageway, perfectly concealing us. How the hell did we find this place?
As though to answer my question, Boss walked up next to me, stopping by me, and saying, "It wasn't my doing if that's what you're wondering."
"How did we get here?" I asked, truly wondering about all that passed since I'd fallen into that grievous slumber.
"I tried to break the blockade. It didn't work. We got caught. We ran. They had us. Then-"
"Then the sea awoke from its ancient slumber," interjected Zek, putting an arm around Boss's shoulder so as to elaborate upon the sheer magnificence of the events I'd missed. "The water spirit of days long past, heard our cries for help, and in his mercy and grace, summoned the power of the sea to his command, whisking away our pursuers, and guiding us in his comforting arms to this little sanctuary we now call home."
I finished listening to Zek's story, more than amused, somehow glad to hear his dumb voice after what'd felt like so long without it, now turning to Boss to hear the real story. "Flash storm. Strong one too. We'd taken on damage to our engine and were sitting ducks when we got lucky. Not spirits. Luck."
"You have no imagination, Boss," Zek said in disappointment as he removed his arm from Boss's shoulder, turning me to ask, "Feeling better, Luke?"
"Better's subjective," I answered. "On one hand, I no longer feel like I'm about to throw up at any damn moment, but on the other, I'm back to hearing your shit jokes."
"So improvements all across the board. You almost sound like you don't want to stick a knife in your own throat for once."
"Riiiiiiiiight. Now I just want to stick one in yours."
"And he has a sense of humor too. Man, I'm starting to like this non-edgy and depressed version of you. I think we'll get along great."
"Zek," Boss said, "Mind giving Gordez a hand in taking inventory of what we'll need to get this thing back up and running?"
"Can do, Boss." He turned to leave.
Boss regained my attention and I his. "You mentioned we got hit."
"Fire Nation warship. Miracle we survived, really."
"Or maybe Zek's just right and we have friends in high places."
"A crew as morally devoid as ours? Wouldn't count on it."
You'd be surprised of the low lives spirits use to do their bidding.
"So we got in a bit of a scrap. Did anybody-"
"Die? No. At least I don't believe so. None of our shots hit home and we didn't get the chance to use the gun."
"Alright," I nodded. That was of some small comfort, to hear that both we and the Fire Nation soldiers got out with our lives intact. They may be our enemies in a way, but I still can't help but feel the loyalty they earned from me by saving my life all that time ago.
And now that we were done talking shop, Boss looked at me, with real intent in his eyes that were in the shadows of his dark brown, almost black hair, asking, "How you feeling, Luke?"
"Better. A lot better. I feel like I can finally get back to being myself now. It's been too long of being afraid to be inside my own body."
"You still comfortable doing this, the fighting, the war? You don't have to stick around. I'm sure there are some towns around here where-"
"No. I want to stay. I don't feel like I'm still being weighed down by my past, like I have a debt to pay, but I want to help the people who can't protect themselves. I've spent too much of my life exploiting them, and I want to give myself the chance to be the good guy for once. Or at least however close I can come to that."
He nodded, seemingly relieved, proceeding to say, "Glad you're staying with us, then. We need all the help we can get."
"What do you need doing? Want me to try and help getting the engine back?"
"No, no. Already got pretty much everyone working on that. I actually wouldn't mind you doing some scouting for us, find out where we are. I want to think we're on the northern end of the Nip sea, but I can't be sure. We got spun around quite a bit in that storm."
I nodded, asking, "You try looking at the sun?"
"Have you?"
I looked up. There was no blue to be seen in the sky. Just a tick white sheet of clouds spread across the whole sky. "Point taken," I said.
He resumed, "I'd like for you and Ka'lira to get a lay of the land, draw some maps, and try to find civilization. You're already equipped more or less like a civilian so you should be more or less good to go. Find her, probably near Zek, and get going."
"Yes, sir."
"Wait wait wait. You've been out for 6 days."
6 days? Wasn't sure if that was more or less than what I'd expected.
"You hungry?" he finished.
And I finally became aware of the gaping hoe in my stomach that had been left unfilled for the aforementioned span of time. And I suddenly lost the ability to talk as that pain, that aching feeling became the only thing I knew. I nodded.
"Ka'lira cooked up some fish we caught. It shouldn't be cold yet. It's still upstairs. Eat up, clean up, find Ka'lira, and get going. Oh. And I don't want you guys walking mindlessly for hours on end. Take Shanzi with you.
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
After all this time, I still didn't know if I should salute, so instead, I nodded my head, and set off to eat, and later, to find Ka'lira, likely near Zek. I was no stranger to it. I saw the same thing with Danev. The pleasures in this world only last so long. Enjoy it while you can.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone