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Chapter 36: Tree and Soil

He felt sick, vial, disgusting…tainted. Try as he may to sleep, Donnie couldn't close his eyes and accept the sweet blissful darkness and sweet release of unconsciousness. He could only lay there, wondering how dark the bags under his eyes would become when the others woke and greeted the day full of refreshed energy. His eyes stung when he closed them, begging him not to reopen them. He denied them their request and opened them anyway, staring into the darkness.

Leo lay behind him, snuggling close and laying his arm around him, almost as if fearing he would leave again. His soft breaths tickled the back of his neck. He had fallen asleep hours ago. After their night, he could hardly blame him. Leo was trying so hard to make him happy, to keep the family together and please their father. He sadly would never be able to do all three.

His stomach turned, threatening to expel what little was left in his belly from the party. Sitting up, he was careful not to disturb Leo. He needed to go to the bathroom and there was no needed to wake him for that. Even in his state, Donnie could still do that much without their help.

It was easy enough to get out of the room, Leo was exhausted and Donnie was after all a trained ninja. The lair was dark and quiet, everyone was asleep. Dread filled him when he remembered that Spike slept on the couch. That he would not allow him to get too far without questioning him and frankly, Donnie didn't want to be in the same room alone with him without his brothers. Something was off about him and Donnie could not explain his fear of the large mutant all of a sudden but he was and there had to be a reason. Perhaps it was because of how close the was to laying the eggs. He was not sure but it took so much time just to coax himself to look over the railing to check if he was there. Looking over the rails and into the living room, he could see the couch was bare. Spike was not home, much to his relief.

As much as he tried to bare his presence, the more his belly grew, the more he wanted to keep him away. Something inside him told him it was best. That the large mutant would only harm them if he got to close and his babies were far too precious to risk on a gamble. No he would listen to instinct, it was the safer bet.

He took one stair at a time, careful on his recovering leg and leaning heavily on the railing. Last thing he needed was to tumble down the stairs. He would never hear the end of it. How dare he sneak off in the middle of the night to use the restroom when he could have any of them escort him the few hundred feet to it? He rolled his eyes. Yeah, he could manage this.

He was silent as he walked slowly across the large room, still half decorated from the party. Recalling how happy he had been for it and all they were doing for him. Donnie smiled as he walked to the middle of the room before his eyes fell upon the pillar, still stained with his blood.

'I WILL NOT HAVE A WHORE UNDER MY ROOF!' the bruise on his cheek began to throb with the memories that were still so fresh. Those words cut so deeply in his chest that there was little he could do to fight the tears that threatened to fall. It wasn't his fault? Could his father not see that he hadn't wanted to…that he had done everything to… his stomach turned and he covered his mouth. Abandoning his thoughts to rush to the bathroom and lock the door with just enough time to expel the bile into the toilet. Dry heaving as the tears flowed freely from his eyes with the force of each convulsion.

When there was nothing left to give he leaned his head against to the cool tile, looking out into the well lit room with a sudden feeling of dread. He was alone for the first time here. Alone for the first time since Newtralizer tried to violate him purely for the satisfaction of it. He could still remember that cold slimy tongue when it dragged against his skin. The way it felt as it touched him…

He stood up quickly, stumbling over to the shower and turning the hot water all the way up. Steam billowed from it, even standing a few feet away he could fell the heat and he cracked a smile. Newtralizer didn't have hot water. They had cold because it slowed him down. For once he was grateful that he had not had his ear on. Grabbing his sponge, rag and favored soap he walked into the hot water, hissing with the sudden burn of it but didn't leave. He was vial and filthy and had to get clean.

Taking his sponge he poured a generous amount of coconut scented soap on it, lathing it until it began to form suds before turning it onto himself. He started with his neck, wanting to rid himself of the feeling of Newtralizer's tongue and the bite Slash had given him. He scrubbed himself hard and deep, not caring when the soap began to sting because that wasn't good enough. He could still feel them on him. Making in dirty and vial and tainted. If he was going to marry Leonardo he was going to be as clean as he could possibly make himself. He had no desire to taint his brother.

He turned to look at the mirror, noting the now angry red skin that resided where he had scrubbed himself so raw that his skin was starting to die. It didn't matter because there was more to clean, far too much more. He set to scrubbing his arms, from his shoulder to his scared wrists where he had been restrained. With the passing of the sponge over his skin he pressed deeper and deeper, feeling the sting of the soap but again he did not let it up. He scrubbed harder and faster. The hot water was near boiling and was going to ensure that he would be cleansed. The soap was to ensure he would be cleaned fully so not a speck of disgust remained upon him.

His breathing quickened when he gasped for the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Clean…I have to get clean…scub away the filth…tainted…unclean…vial…corrupt…" he wasn't sure if he was crying or if it was the water from the shower but he kept at his task, cleaning each bit of his skin until it was an angry red and stung with the passing of soap. Yet it was not enough. The process would need to be repeated. There was no other way. He had to rid himself of the filth. From the vial and disgusting feeling of his own skin.

Donnie hissed as he shifted, leaning against the wall to support himself. Reaching down, he began to scrub between his legs. The place that held the most filth. He swore he could feel the thick warm cum roll down his legs even now. It only made him scub harder as the sponge bit into his sensitive flesh. He pulled up the sponge after a time to add more soap, freezing when he saw the tint of red to the sponge. "Vile…disgusting…tainted…have to get clean…" his hand began to tremble as he added the soap only to move between his legs again. He grit his teeth tightly as the stinging sensation shot through him. He scrubbed himself so raw down there that he opened a wound. "Clean…I have to get clean…" he grabbed the rag, lathered it with his soap and moved between his legs. With his finger, he shoved the rag into himself, digging his nails into the tiles. It hurt…yet it was where he was filthy, vial…why his father had called him a whore.

'No one should ever touch you here…' he recalled his father telling them. 'Only a very very special person can so that. Someone you are willing to be with for the rest of your life. I can only hope you four would find someone like that.'

"Is that why?" he choked out. "Am I a whore because I let someone touch me here that I didn't love?" pressing his forehead against the tile he pushed his finger in further, twisting it around to clean what he could. "I did want to…I'm sorry…I'm so so sorry…" his hand trembled as he felt his legs shake. It hurt, it hurt so badly but he had to clean himself. He had to ensure that his filth would not be smeared onto Leo. That their father would not look to his brother the same way he looked at him. With disappointment and anger. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry I am vile…tainted…corrupt…please…I'm sorry…"

He felt arms wrap around him. A voice curse as the hot water hit them before it was cut off. Carefully the hand he used to clean himself was now gently held at his side as he felt someone kneel down and gasp. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" he repeated. Over and over as he was pulled away from the shower and gently sat on the toilet. His legs were opened wide and it was only then he could see the two thin trails of blood that ran down each of his legs.

Baby blue eyes fought back tears as his trembling hands wiped at the blood with a fresh rag that he had soaked with water. His brother's skin was so red and raw, he was sure he had scrubbed the skin away on some parts of himself but what upset him the most was the open and bleeding wound between his legs. When he entered to find his brother in the shower on full display, legs spread and shoving a rag in his ass he wasn't sure how to take it. That was until he saw the blood oozing down his legs. Mikey had only wanted to use the bathroom and now he wasn't sure what to do. "It's okay Dee, I'm not mad…you have nothing to apologize for…"

Yet his words provided little comfort. Donnie was crying and continuing his mantra of apologizes. He didn't do anything wrong so why was he apologizing for anyway? It wasn't like he was jerking off or shitting in the shower. He was cleaning himself and Mikey had a pretty good idea why.

During his down time when he wasn't taking care of Donnie, he was watching videos on rape victims. He learned all about the panic attacks, self-doubt, self-blaming, anxiety, depressions, hyper sexuality and even thoughts of suicide. Most of which he could see in Donnie or even what he had heard from his brothers. It was only recently he and the others noticed that Donnie was giving in more to them. That he was even guiding their hand to touch his most intimate of places. This fact was not lost on them and he had become enraged with Leo when he had told them about what had happened in the lab. When Donnie was not himself and how Leo had placed himself between his legs.

Leo had been ashamed of himself, that was clearly seem when he refused to make eye contact when he recounted it to them. Mikey had not held back. He told Leo just how reckless he was and how fucking stupid he was being. That Donnie was hurting and he didn't understand what he was doing. He was only acting on impulse and he had to be fucking better then that. Leo knew better. He even admitted that much to them but Mikey didn't feel that was good enough. He warned them both about what Donnie would do and they couldn't let him get to them like that. Who knows once it was over and the deed was done how Donnie would feel about himself and what happened? It could be enough to drive him to the unthinkable.

Oh his brother's had let him have his peace, snapping at them because they knew they deserved it. Mikey wasn't the one trying to fit between Donnie's thighs. He was the one trying so damn hard to keep him from slipping down that path. Donnie was only now opening up more and they were fucking going to throw it all away to get their dicks wet and he swore that which ever one of their bone head brother's ever went through with it he was going to castrate them himself!

Even so, he had read about the feelings rape victims often felt with themselves. Seeing themselves as dirty and tainted. Leo having confirmed such as coming from Don's own beak as recent as last night. Mikey expected something like this…he had only hoped it wasn't him who seen it.

"Come one Dee…relax…deep breaths…can you do that for me?" He looked up at his brother with a soft and gentle smile. His eyes meeting with those ruby orbs as the mantra slowly died down to silence.

"I know you were just taking a shower, what's wrong with that?" he tilt his head and smiled. "Relax, I'm not mad at you…"

"I used up the hot water…" he muttered.

"So, then we wait a little longer for more. Not a big deal. If it weren't for you we wouldn't have any hot water so who cares if you used it." He pat his knee and continued to gently wipe the blood away.

"I'm dirty…"

Mikey shook his head. "How can you be dirty? You scrubbed yourself down and you used most of the hot water to do it. You are cleaner then Leo's room." he hummed softly. "I think all we have to do is wax your shell Dee and you would be the cleanest one of us all." He chuckled softly. Slowly dipping the rag into the bucket and ringing out the bloody water before moving back to wipe the rest.

"Do you hate me?"

That made him stop. Baby blue eyes slowly rose to see him looking away. Tears flowed over his bruised cheek. His lower lip quivered as he waited for him to reply. Hands pressed closed to his chest as if protecting himself from the worst response he could get. "Never…" Mikey stood up, gently turning Donnie's eyes to face him. "I could never hate you…"

"But I'm a whore…"

Anger swelled in him. Their father had done this. He had called him something so fowl so un-fucking-forgivable that the youngest was sure to make time to talk to their father for. It did nothing to help and only turned to victim blaming when he said that. As if Donnie had asked for it or sought it out when both Donnie and Slash had said that it was Newtralizer who put them together. "Dee…you are not a whore…"

"I AM!" he snapped. He smacked his hand away and hugged himself. "I didn't do enough to stop him…" self-hatred. It's all Mikey could see in his movements. "I let someone I didn't love touch me…" he looked to Mikey. "Where only someone I love is allowed…"

"Donnie that doesn't make you a whore. He took from you, you didn't give it to him. He forced it from you and we know you fought him to try and protect yourself…" Mikey reached out to try and calm him.

"I liked it…" he spoke with a cold tone. "…not at first but after a time…when he pushed in so deep and…he hit something in me…it made me feel so good…I tried to make him hit it each time…" his eyes were locked on something that wasn't there. Hand slowly moving down his neck, down his plastron and lower to his cloaca. Never once looking back at Mikey as he spoke. "I started to enjoy when he…"

Mikey grabbed his hand to stop him from going lower. He couldn't risk him reopening that wound again. The bleeding only recently stopped. "Donnie I know it did. He was hitting your prostate and that is what stimulated you. It's a natural part of your body and how it reacts…" Mikey was guilty of looking up such things as gay porn on his tablet. Things that peeked his interest and he wondered why men moaned so much during sex. He would consider himself well educated on the matter, given he had been able to hit that same spot inside himself once or twice. When his mind wandered to thoughts of this very brother.

"Can you do that?" he asked. Looking to Mikey with a pleading look. It took him by surprise and he stumbled back a few steps. "It's the only comfort I got…to ease the pain and…I'm in so much pain…" Donnie stood up, leaning on the wall for support because of his large belly. "Please Mikey…make the pain go away…"

No. No. No. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Donnie didn't know what he was asking him. He couldn't understand his feelings and emotions because none of them could process it as clearly as Donnie could theirs. They needed another Donnie but he never opened upto anyone. There was no one he could turn to for this and his diaries were gone and all his emotions were just bottled up and he was turning to the only comfort he knew that worked…

He felt his brother's head on his neck, resting as a small satisfied chirp escaped him. The sound of it made his cock pulse, yet the smell coming from him screamed of female hormones. "Dee…we can't…" why did it feel like he had cotton in his mouth? "You don't know what you are saying and this isn't what you need…"

"I need you…" he said softly. His beak pressing lightly against his freckled cheek. "Father said not to let anyone touch me…" he took his hand and guided it down to his cloaca. "here…unless it is someone I love…I love you Mikey…so much…it hurts…everything hurts…please…help me…" he moaned when he felt his brother's finger twitch against his hole. Yet he whined when it was drawn back and his brother stepped away. The look in his eyes speaking volumes. "You do hate me…because I'm tainted…vial…filthy…a whore…" anger rose in his voice at the rejection. All three of them had rejected him. They claim to love him. Claim to want him but when he is so willing they draw away as if touching him burned their skin.

"Donnie that is not it! I love you so much but this is not going to help you…you need so much more then this…" Mikey's words weren't getting through. Donnie was blocking him out as he turned to leave. This was bad. He couldn't leave Donnie like this…not as angry as he was because the mindset he was in was destructive. Who knew what he would reason as the best course of action for this rejection? "One moment of pleasure will not make up for the endless pain you are feeling!"

The elder turtle stopped. Frozen as he listened to his brother speak.

"I know there is nothing I can do to make this right. That you are going to feel about yourself how you do now and no matter what I or anyone says you are going to feel dirty…" he walked toward him. Hoping what he was saying was getting through. "I don't want to use you Donnie. Even if you want me to, even if you think it will make you feel better now…I know once it's over you are going to hate yourself even more then you do now." He moved closer to him. Ensuring that Donnie dint bolt for the door.

"I know you agreed to the marriage because dad was hurting Raph. I know you feel helpless and used but you aren't. You have a choice in all of this. You don't have to face this on your own, you have us. You think you are a burden and that you don't want to trouble us with your problems but…this is the furthest thing from the truth. Donnie your feelings and opinions matter and I know we didn't take them into consideration before and that you feel like your life isn't your own…." He took Donnie's hand and held it to his chest. "I'm guilty of thinking I knew what is best for you just like them…that we talk alone about you but so little to you…" red eyes watched him carefully. "I only want to make you happy and I know I'm not the smartest or strongest brother but…Dee…I know when you are suffering in silence and I cant stand by and watch you slowly sink into someone I don't recognize. You aren't acting like yourself and I fully understand why bro I honestly do but you need to take a deep breath and think about stuff past the moment like you usually do."

That hand held onto his, clinging to it as if it were a lifeline. "Past the moment…I see myself with hatchlings, eggs in an incubator and my belly swollen with more to come. I see myself in a different bed each night laying next to someone different then the night before." He pulled his hand back, as if the touch now burned him. "I see my lab empty, untouched because I have children to care for, mates always rushing to and from the home as my broken dreams laid scattered unseen before them." His red eyes narrowed. "Yet…all you will see is a smile on my face…because that is what you all need isn't it? For me to do what is easiest and best for you, right? It makes things easier to bear when I am compliant? When I put you all before myself? Like this…I can see the fear in your eyes. Fear of my eyes…evil…monster…demon…" he looked away. "Do not try and tell me you know about what I am going through. That you understand me because of your books and videos you watched and that you feel you are some sort of expert on it."

"I didn't say that and you know it! Dee, I am not an expert on anything. I am only trying to stop you from making a mistake that you will regret! Trust me…." Mikey moved toward him and was meet with a deep and threatening growl. It sounded almost feral in tone and he stumbled back. "Donnie…it isn't like that and you know it…"

"Do I?" he snapped. His eyes now seeming to glow crimson in his anger. "You came up with a plan, one that included everyone. One that benefits each of you and placed the burden upon my shoulders. Each night a different mate. Each mating season I belong to one of you. You do realize what over population is right? How can we care for all of those young when none of you work? We were only able to afford everything because I took on a job, I handled the money and I rationed it out. Even then it's hard to afford medical supplies and food for us and our friends. I will not go to April and her father for finances when I can get them myself. We do not need to burden them." No, he wouldn't turn to her. Not anymore.

Mikey puffed out his cheeks. "I didn't do it just for us you know! I figured instead of having to deal with Slash alone and being a single mother we could help ease the burden! If we all were in this relationship then we all had an equal hand in it! That no matter who was the father we would all act as if it were us! I only wanted to help Donnie!" tears pricked his eyes. He thought this was the perfect alternative. He thought he had it all planned out.

"You could have supported me as my brothers." His tone shifted. Sounding more dead then it had been before. "Yet, each of you thought to try and include yourselves in my life as a mate, knowing I would not take one over the others you sought to include all of you rather then lose out…am I right?" he tilt his head to the side. The look on his brother's face made it quite clear that he was correct. "I needed my family, my brothers…not lovers. Not more males trying to…" he covered his mouth with his hand as he felt bile start to raise. He was too upset and it was not helping the eggs. He needed to calm down. He needed to go back and rest.

Mikey ran to him, wrapping his arms tightly around his brother. "Donnie! Come on, you need to calm down you are going to make yourself sick bro!" He patted him on the shell, unsure what more he could do. He had it all planned out. Everything had been perfect but…Donnie…Donnie could see the flaws. He could see how imperfect the plan truly was because it was him who had to bare the burden none of them thought of. Donnie had to give up everything…just so they could become fathers.

"Mikey…" his voice was so small. "I'm sorry…it was cruel of me to take it out on you…I…I don't know what to do anymore…" he clung to his brother's shell, hoping and wishing this was all just a nightmare and he would wake from it to how things used to be. "You were so smart to come up with that…to make everything even…"

Baby blue eyes narrowed. That was a whiplash of emotions. Was this just an intense mood swing? He understood that Donnie wasn't feeling well and that things were only going to get worse until the eggs were born. "It's okay Dee, I know it's just the hormones talking. You're tired, you're scared, you haven't had your normal way of venting. I get that. If talking like that makes you feel better then do it more. Don't hold back because you are afraid to hurt us." He felt his brother choke out a sob. "Come on Dee, if you start crying I'm gonna cry too." He could feel the tears welling in his eyes. His brother was in so much fucking pain. He was dealing with shit that Mikey was sure if the roles were reversed he would have broken. "Dee…I'm not mad. None of us are and none of us blame you for any of this."

"It's my fault…there is no way around it…it's my fault and I hate myself! I'm too weak to do anything to stop it and all I ever do is mess things up!" he laid his head in his brother's neck, resting it there as he felt the calming pats on his shell. "I hate how much I began to enjoy it…how much I craved to be pushed over the edge…to escape the pain…if only for a moment…' his legs gave out and he began to fall only to be caught by his brother and slowly lowered to the floor. "What am I supposed to do? It keeps playing in my head over and over again…in an endless loop…each moment…I feel it…on my skin…filthy…tainted…"

The scent of blood drew Mikey back. His brother had clawed at his arm again, tearing open the scabs and letting the blood flow. "Donnie you need to stop!" he grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away.

Donnie froze. His body stiffened and his eyes widened. His breaths were short, quick and shallow. Fearful. His eyes were looking at him but they did not see. "Only good…one thing…" he muttered. "One…thing…" his eyes looked down, trembling hands gently moving to hold his belly. "Don't mix…too different…" he clenched his teeth. "Not enough…too many unknown variables…too many…too different…"

"What are you talking about? I don't understand…" what was he to do? What was he to say? Was this something that he was supposed to understand? Should he get Leo or Raph? No, he didn't need them he could handle Donnie without them. Each of them had more time with their brother and he wanted his share too. He was old enough to handle it.

Then he felt his brother's lips on his own. His eyes widened and he pulled away, staring at Donnie with bewilderment. "Dee?" the other said nothing, turning to expose his neck. Offering him a clear view of the bite mark Slash had left during their mating. His cock pulsed and he growled at himself for feeling aroused by the act of submission. "Dee?"

"I don't want to feel him…I don't love him…please…" he held his hand on the mark, digging into it before Mikey stopped him. "I feel him…them…please…"

"Them? Donnie, you only said it was Slash…" His eyes narrowed, tightening his hold on his brother's wrist without realizing it. Was there someone else who dared to fucking lay their hand on his brother?!

His lips parted as he tried to breathe. The room was spinning and he could see him. That newt mutant. "He tried…Sl-Spike stopped him…I don't love them…please…I don't want to feel them anymore…"

Mikey's eyes were drawn to the necklace. A huge part of him knowing exactly what it was and what it meant. That was his mark of engagement to Leo. The damn fool took something beautiful and made it a god damn thing of claim. Like a collar placed upon a pet. "Donnie answer honestly, do you think it will be better if it was me?" he knew the answer. Donnie was not thinking clearly and would grow to regret this.

There was a long silence between them. One that showed he was trying hard to think. Soon his brother calmed down, body relaxed and his head was lowered. "No." he choked out. Looking up at those baby blue eyes with a look of deep sorrow and confusion. "Mikey…it hurts…"

He laid their foreheads together and sighed. "I really wish I could take away the pain bro. Even for a moment but… you and I both know it is only a band-aid. We'll both come to regret it. I need you to understand I'm not rejecting you, I love ya bro, ride or die style. I just don't think now is the time…let alone in the freaking bathroom." He chuckled softly. "Think it should be more romantic…like on a beach…at sunset…with a dolphin jumping in the horizon." He heard his brother snort, this causing a wave of joy to wash over him. Donnie was there.

"Ride or die?" he rolled his eyes. "A dolphin, really?" he gave him a light hearted push. "Here I thought you would wine and dine." He couldn't help but smile. His little brother was a romantic fool.

The younger turtle raised his brow. "Oh I have every intention of winning your affection through a nice dinner, it's just…you don't ever freaking eat like you're supposed to!" he puffed out his cheeks, moving to wrap his arm around his brother's middle when a low growl warded him away. "Easy tiger mom, I'm just going to help you up okay?"

"Don't touch…" he snapped.

It was no secret Donnie was getting more protective of his belly. No one was allowed near it and he would literally take a bite at anyone who did. Honestly, he almost got a good chunk of Raph the other day. "Fine, can I do under the arm then?" he got a nod. Donnie was heavier…not that it was any surprise. On his thin frame his belly looked fucking huge.

Just as he was helping him up, the door to the bathroom burst open. Leo stood there panting heavily and stared at them a moment. His hand tensed at the sight of his fiancée in their brother's arms but that would have to wait. "I was so worried…" he ran over to help Donnie. "April called and I woke up to see you gone…I fucking panicked…" he sighed with relief.

"Bro, he's fine chill. Just had to use the bathroom okay." Mikey wasn't about to talk about what happened. Not yet at least. "And why was April calling so early?" that was…odd.

"She and her father are on the way here with Casey. A few minutes ago a kunai shattered their window and had a note. The foot are demanding that we meet with them to talk about alternatives. They want Donnie and willing to make a trade for Karai."

A small twang of fear rushed through Donnie. Would their father consider it? To trade the whore for his precious daughter?

"Sensei is wanting us all to go but I don't want to leave Donnie alone…" Leo sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "They already said most of their men would be there, to show good faith and that it's not a trick…" he bit his lip.

Mikey wasn't sure what to make of it. "I don't like it one bit bro." they walked Donnie to the couch and sat him down. Raph and Sensei were talking, silencing when the others set him down.

"Leatherhead isn't picking up, Slash is on his way and April and her father are going to be delayed because they are trying to ensure they aren't being tailed." Raph reported in.

Splinter looked to his pregnant son. Noting to the necklace and allowing himself to smile. Leonardo had proposed and Donatello had accepted. One less thing to worry about. "I will need you three with me to discuss. This maybe a trap but…perhaps Saki is desperate enough to want to talk." He was highly skeptical but still, if there was even a sliver of hope that his Miwa would be returned to him…

"What are we gonna do about Donnie?" Mikey asked. Clearly they weren't planning on taking a highly pregnant turtle with them…were they? If they were, he was gonna fucking flip.

Splinter stroked his beard. "I am unsure…How long before the O'Neils get here?" he looked to Raph who texted her only to wait a moment for a ding.

"Three hours, they want to head out to New Jersey and back before they feel safe enough to come to the lair." Raph replied, clearly not happy with the knowledge.

Donnie sighed. "Go. I'll be fine for three hours." All eyes turned to him as if they didn't believe him. "Metalhead has the security update I gave him, I know the evacuation route to the new layer, I created the fail safe drills and I know I can handle being alone for a few hours. I am not a child. I am not an invalid." Ge looked up to them with a determined gaze. "If there is a chance to get Miwa home we need to take it. Just be careful please…"

The others all looked at each other before turning to Splinter, in the end it was his choice as the clan head. He closed his eyes and stroked his beard. There would be times like this in the future as well. When they would have to leave him. Perhaps this would be good for him, perhaps it is the best course of action. Given he had not been alone since he came home, some solitude may improve his attitude. "Very well. We will go and meet with Shredder. I want you to say in lair and so help you if you leave Donatello…" He shot him a dark glare. He was not joking about this. If Donatello left, he would stop at nothing to bring him home and the consequences for such disobedience would be far more severe then a slap to the face.

The young turtle turned his head submissively at the tone in his father's voice. His hand going to the bruise on his face. "I understand. I give you my word I will not leave the lair." He tried to sound brave, but it came as a soft whisper.

"Donnie boy…" Raph went to move to him before he was pulled back by Splinter. He glared darkly at him, jerking his wrist from his father's hold. "Don't touch me."

"Keep at it and I will work on your attitude next!" he warned, baring his teeth at his disrespectful child. "Now let's go. We have a short time before Saki thinks we are upto no good." He turned and ran from the lair.

Mikey looked back at Donnie, still sitting on the couch with his hand to the bruise. He wanted to say something, anything but no words escaped him. So he offered him a small smile. "We'll be back before ya could miss us bro." he took off after their father.

Raph looked to Leo with a deep frown. "A fucking collar? Possessive much?" he pointed the sai at his face. "I swear ta what eva fuck'en god is listen'en, if he so much as lays a finger on Donnie again…I'm take'en 'im outta here with or fuck'en without ya. I aint gonna deal with Pop's threaten'en 'im." He placed his hand on Donnie's shoulder and knelt down. "Hey, deep breaths okay? We'll be home just like da bonehead said. Take care and just relax while we are gone, 'kay? Watch 'dem docuseries ya like so much." He smiled at him and reached for a bottle of water he had grabbed for himself, placing it in the pale green hand. "Drink dis up before I get back." He kissed his forehead and glared at Leo. Without another word he took off.

"I wont let father hurt you." The eldest was determined to ensure his words rung true. Sitting before his fiancée on the floor he took his hands in his own. "I promise." He smiled at him, stroking his cheek softly before kissing the corner of his mouth. "I will keep our brother's safe and we will come home with Miwa." He smiled softly as he saw his brother's eyes turn to him.

"Please…don't leave me alone in this cruel world." Tears welled in his eyes. "I don't want to be the reason…I don't want to lose you all…" he lowered his head to his brother's, letting the tears fall from his eyes. "Please come home."

Leo held him tightly. Cooing softly to him. "I will bring them all home. I promise you, Hamato Donatello, my beloved, my moon…my life…I will bring them all home." He wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. "Rest now my love." He kissed his cheek and rose. He watched as Donnie's eyes widened, tears falling freely now, as he held his hand out, reaching for him. "I love you…"

"Daisuki da yo…" was his broken response.

"So desu ka?" Leo froze in place, staring at his brother before he heard their father call his name. He sighed heavily before taking off down the tunnels, running to catch up to his brother's and father. He could only hope and pray that Donnie would be okay. Yet, there was strange feeling that nagged at him. Something that he couldn't quite place that warned him not to leave. He looked to his brothers and they seemed to have the same worried looks on their faces. Something was eating at them, what they could not say but something told them, perhaps instinct, this day was going to be unforgettable.

~LRDM~

"Are you sure they will come?" Bradford grumbled as he stood next to the caged serpent mutant, she was sedated but awake. She had nearly bitten him and he was far from pleased about it. Crossing his arms he looked to Xever who was fiddling with his butterfly knives.

"Oh, si. I am sure they will show. We have the girl, that is enough to get them here." He offered a smile before looking ahead toward Tigerclaw and their master. He hated how much favor that fucking pussy cat had.

Shredder stood out over the edge of the rooftop, looking out at the city. This was a gamble yes, but Tigerclaw made a valid point. Even with the chance they could take Karai, this would greatly narrow down the location of their home. "You better not fail me!" he turned and glared at the tiger mutant. Far from please that he had to even risk his daughter.

"I assure you, if all goes to plan, you will have the turtle you seek." The tiger smirked and looked out at the city as well. He was amazed by the sheer information gathered by his master on the turtle, to the point of near obsession. There was far more on the purple one then his previous obsession of the blue one. While his leadership and skills were amazing, it amazed him how long it took for him to realize the purple one was responsible for most of their wins.

The Shredder grunted. His eyes never looking away from the city. His eyes focused, determined. He needed this turtle. He needed him on his side. It was going to be a challenge to break him, but Shredder was sure he could force him to submit. Everyone had their breaking point, he just had to push him past that point. Would it be beatings? Psychological manipulation? Starvation? Dehydration? Torture? Blood? Physical pain? Mental anguish? Perhaps he should make a list and just check off what doesn't work? He smirked under the mask. Breaking the spirit was half the fun. "What do you know of the turtle?"

"He is a quite one. Physically weaker then the others, but his intelligence is unmatched even by the rat." Tigerclaw turned to him, eyeing him closely. "Tell me, honestly, you do not plan to return him do you? You desire to keep him for your army."

A dark chuckle emitted from him. "So quick witted." He glared at the mutant out of the corner of his eye. "Take all those gadgets he makes, where do they come from?"

"Trash. Everyone knows this." The mutant tilt his head to the side. He wondered what his master was getting at.

Shredder turned to him. "Exactly, he can turn everyday junk into weapons that can stop highly trained ninja! Imagine now what he could accomplish with my empire funding it! I thought Stockman was smart but him…I could rule the world with his mind under my command!"

"He will not break easily. I have seen him fend off those who have powerful minds." He was weary of the boy helping. He maybe weak but he was a stubborn one. A pacifist, meaning if he knows harm would befall others he would be willing to die before he aided in mass genocide. "He is overly fond of his family, perhaps you should take a second turtle to ensure his cooperation?" the boy would obey far easier that way.

He scuffed. "Far too much work to keep two turtles contained, feed and taken care of." He wouldn't risk it, one was going to be a challenge on it's own let alone two. Even so, if he did decide it would possibly be that orange one. He ran his mouth a lot but they made drugs to aid in silence. No, he wouldn't risk it. He would have to break him.

"Turtles have been spotted." Bradford called out. "The east and west teams have spotted them. Seems they are going to regroup before coming here." The mutant wolf walked closer though the look he got from his master stopped him dead.

Shredder scuffed and looked to him. "Stay and guard Karai, your life depends upon it." He looked to Tigerclaw. "They are not foolish, I am sure they know we are trying to pull something. See to it that we do not fail!"

"Yo, Shred-head, we're here for our date!" Mikey snickered as he and his family landed on the roof just opposite of Shredder and his goons.

Raph held out his sai, aiming it at him. "Just to warn ya now, we don't kiss on the first date."

"Enough!" Splinter snapped. Turing to face Saki though his eyes were on his caged daughter. "We have come, just like you asked. Let us talk and discuss peace."

Shredder's fingers twitched. He wanted to tear him apart, but he knew that using his son against him would be far sweeter revenge. "Yes…Let us talk."

~LRDM~

Why couldn't he stop this feeling of dread? Why couldn't he shake the feeling something awful was going to happen? He tried to push it back, to choke it down and believe it was only because of his eggs that his nerves were on edge, being alone in the lair…it felt so large and empty. He felt to small…

Standing up was a struggle but he needed to move. His back was killing him and his belly was hurting so fucking much. It wasn't nausea, he had that before…no it was something more. Perhaps just his worry and stress getting the better of him? That had to be it. He had to calm down, for his eggs.

'Dig…' he jerked away. Looking behind him for the voice but found no one. His eyes darted all around. Looking, searching for the one who spoke to him. Nothing. No one was there, no sound. Just the empty lair and his strained, panicked breaths. "You are losing it…" he muttered. Clinging to the plastic bottle of water, he slowly undid the lid and took a quick sip.

'You must dig…' he turned again, this time yeeting the bottle as fast and hard as he could. Water splattered to the ground, the bottle hit the pillar before falling with a crunch. His hand trembled. What the hell…what was going on? "Metalh…"

He couldn't finish. There was suddenly a sharp pain in his belly. He gasped and held onto the side of the couch, his hand instinctively grabbed for his belly. Another wave of pain rushed through him and he cried out in pain. 'Dig…' the voice was louder. 'You must dig…' he looked around, searching everywhere but found nothing. "Hurts…" he grit his teeth and moved toward the kitchen. He needed pain killers, he knew they had them in the cabinet. He just needed to…

He froze in place. Eyes wide. His breath caught in his throat as time seemed to slow to a halt. No…Not now…not like this…too soon…it was too soon…Slowly, ever so painfully slowly did he lower his eyes down. A feeling of pure terror filled him as he saw the floor, soaked with his fluids. 'DIG…' he looked around. Everything was concrete and stone…there was no where soft that he could dig, there was no dirt ther…

Donatello turned toward the dojo. His legs trembled as he moved forward, each step sending another wave of excruciating pain through him. Each movement sending more fluid down his thighs and legs, leaving a trail from the large puddle.

'DIG…' the voice cried again. Urging him forward.

'DIG…'

'DIG…'

'DIG…'

"Dig..." Donnie's own voice joined the mantra. He leaned against the door way of the dojo, looking toward the tree. He could smell the soil that it grew from. There was large enough gaps between the tatami mats that he could fit through. He needed only to get there. He need to move. "Coming…" he choked out. Slowly stumbling forward. Tears flowed from his eyes as he tried so very hard to push himself forward despite the excruciating pain. "Dig…coming…dig…have to…dig…"

He reached the edge, but there wasn't enough space to his liking. He growled, lowering himself to his knees before taking his claws and ripping into the wood, tearing the edge to make it wider. He tossed the broken wood as far as it would go, not caring where it would land. "Dig…Dig…have to…coming…dig…dig…" his hands were cut by the broken and splintered wood but he didn't care. There was more for him to do…he had to dig.

"Dig…have to…coming…" he looked at the gap, smiling for a moment as he looked down at the treasure below. His hand reached out, touching the soil. "Dig…coming…dig…." He sank his long claws into the soft dirt and kicked it back behind him. "Dig…dig…dig…" he moved faster as another wave of pain rolled through him. He couldn't stop. There was no time. There was no time.

Coming…

Dig…

The eggs were coming…


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