Chapter 6: cornflower
His head hurt and for some reason his heart hurt too, as if something had been taken away from him, he felt strange, stranger than usual.
He was in a very soft bed and the smell was familiar. He stretched and yawned, when he opened his eyes the drowsiness was gone in seconds.
He was in Chen Ling's bed.
The bridge....
As soon as his memory began to return a sense of desperation began to spread, another attempt and he had failed as well. How had Chen ling found him, anyway?
In the message he had sent her he had not mentioned anything that gave his whereabouts...
At that moment he remembered another important thing, a man, someone had shouted at him before he let go, when he remembered it something besides desperation and rage started to spread, Lan Xue blushed, he shook his head for reacting like that, the man was attractive and looked like a good person and the first thing he had done was to cry on top of him and fall asleep.
He buried his head in his hands, it was the first time in a long time that he felt like that, how did he do that and with a stranger? He remembered the man's perfume and the voice, which sounded like honey. His face turned completely red.
He should be sad, angry, but instead he was blushing from acting like an idiot with a man. Lan Xue didn't understand himself.
He sighed and tried to calm his mind.
He had not managed to do that either, he was not going to give up, just because he did not manage to do it at first, it didn't mean that he won't do it again.
When his heart finally calmed down, he began to think, how had he ended up at his friend's house?
At that moment the door opened, Chen Ling did not look happy at all.
"So you couldn't think of a better way to say goodbye than by text?" Lan Xue didn't take his eyes off the plate of food in front of him. "You're not going to talk either?"
Chen Ling knew that this was not how she should speak and it wasn't what she wanted to say to Lan Xue, but despite acting strong and down-to-earth in front of the man who saved her best friend, now with only the two of them, fear, sadness and even a little disappointment dwelled in her mind, the last being disappointment towards herself, how could she not realize it before? She knew that her friend didn't have the best life, did not have the best self-esteem in the world and that sometimes he acted as if he did not care about anything, but she did not know that it went so deep, and that made her feel so bad, as she had ignored Lan Xue's feelings.
Before she knew it the tears began to fall, Lan Xue for the first time in all the time he had been silent and motionless moved with something of a panic in his eyes.
"No, no, don't cry. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, it's not my intention to make you feel guilty, it's just that to think you could have left with just a farewell message... Please don't do that to me again" The tears continued to fall, Lan Xue got up from his seat to approach his friend and comfort her.
He knew that he had been insensitive and had not thought about how she would feel, the guilt began to invade him, Lan Xue wondered if he should tell her that he had also tried the day before but he had not succeeded either. After thinking about it for several seconds, he decided.
"The truth is that yesterday I tried... I tried to do it too, but my mom caught me, I'm so sorry" His eyes started to water "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I couldn't do it anymore, I had to, I needed to..."
Chen Ling hearing that did not react, his body became completely paralyzed and the urge to scream almost overpowered her, but she sighed, cleared her mind and let the air out.
"Your mom?" That's all she said.
"She just... she just told me to clean up the mess I made."
"That bitch..." Chen Ling preferred not to say anything about it, scolding Lan Xue or complaining about it was not the way to go, it had not happened so discussing it was not going to lead them anywhere "Are you okay A-Xue?
The last one she said more delicately.
"I'm fine Lingling, I'm a little worn, I will not do it again, but I can not go on like this" Lan Xue hid his face in his hands, it was true what he said, would not try in the near future, but that did not mean that out of nowhere his life had changed or now everything he felt about himself was different, not at all, just meant that he would try, and that did not guarantee a sure victory.
Lan Xue did not expect much, but for Chen Ling and for Cloud he would try, if it did not work, at least this time he would be sure to say goodbye properly.
The blue in his eyes now was a bitter mark he had on how he had failed.
But the next time it would not be blue what he would see.
**
It was the day.
"Are you all set, Zhao Yun?" It was moving day, it was just the two of them, but a move after all.
His uncles didn't last long 'angry' with him, they had only been hurt and he understood that, a small feeling of joy ran through his body when they spoke to him again with gifts in their hands,
Zhao Yun had refused at first, after all, he didn't want to continue to owe his uncles things, but neither did he want to be disrespectful and ignore or reject the gifts they had given him.
There were three things, a bottle of alcohol, some tea bags and a pot to make rice. Zhao Yun's eyes did get a little wet when his uncles brought him that. He didn't forget to thank them again and again.
When Xie Min told them that he was leaving with him too, his uncles didn't react at all, the only thing they said was 'we knew it'. Xie Min was depressed - not really - when he saw that they didn't act in the same way as when Zhao Yun told them that he was leaving, complaining about how he was the less favorite son and how nobody cared, all while doing a very dramatic scene in the middle of the room. That got a few laughs out of everyone, including the baby.
But, after all that commotion, everyone got serious and even cried a little, leaving the place that had been their home for a long time was not an easy thing, but besides the main reason why Zhao Yun was doing that, it was time for both of them to learn to live without the help of some parental figures, because after all, they could not be dependent on them for their whole life.
It hurt them, but at least they knew that with the presence of little Xie Li their uncles would not be and would not feel alone, it was something that comforted them a little.
"I've got everything here, doesn't anything stay with you?" he asked from the room.
They were ready to leave, their aunt was waiting for them in the street, since she had offered to drive them.
They hadn't taken everything in their rooms, it wasn't like they were never coming back to this house, so some things like clothes, accessories, room decorations had stayed, and Zhao Yun liked that, it wasn't like they were disappearing, they were just moving on, after all, that place would always be their home.
"No, I have everything, let's hurry up, mom must be worried that we are taking so long" The two of them picked up the suitcases they had and left.
His house for years.... He was going to miss it, but he needed to grow up. Zhao Yun managed to keep the tears in his eyes. He could do this, everything was going to work out fine.
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