Chapter 18: Calm down
Earlier
~Reid~
I shut my bedroom door behind me and dropped my bag. I let out a heavy sigh as my back slid against the door until I was sitting on the floor.
I thought about the feeling of my hand ruffling Nolan's hair just minutes ago, and I noticed my own face lighten up with a small grin.
He didn't reject my touch... and what was with that smile? He's so cute.
"Ughhh..." I thumped my forehead against my knees, burying my face in them.
Nolan told me himself that he wasn't mad, but that didn't keep me from worrying he'd never be comfortable around me again.
Then I touched him, and he smiled...
The thought that I might still have a chance with him made my stomach swirl.
...Should I go talk to him? I avoided it until now due to the fact that I was scared, embarrassed, and most of all, guilty.
What would I tell him? That I could never be upset with him? That I was only frustrated with and embarrassed of myself? That I don't want things to end after tonight, even though I don't deserve it?
I had to say something. Staying quiet would only kill off what little chance I might have left
I got up, and though my heart raced a little faster with each step I took, I found myself in front of Nolan's room.
As I knocked lightly against the wood, the door creaked opened. I peered inside.
I stepped into the room, my eyes glued to the sleeping Nolan, laying on his side.
His breathing was quiet, and gentle. The sun's light shone through the window, lightening his dark brown waves, and illuminating his skin.
Carefully watching my step, I silently made my way to the window and shut the curtains half way, shielding Nolan's face from the bright light.
Before I knew it, I was gingerly sitting down next to him on his mattress. Nolan simply nuzzled his face into the sheets in response to my dip in the mattress.
The slow rise and fall of his chest with each breath he took eased my nerves in a way I couldn't explain... it's just him.
No other person in my life has ever brought me so much peace, and comfort - not like Nolan. Just being around him is... healing.
I reached forward and laid my hand on top of his, feeling it's warmth.
Please, God, make this hand mine. Give me another chance.
Unconsciously, Nolan gripped my hand delicately in his sleep.
I felt my heart squeeze in my chest.
...I'll talk to him later once he's awake.
I stood up from the bed, the feeling of Nolan's hand still lingered in my fingertips as I left the room. I locked the door behind me, so no one would wake him.
I turned to find Claire... but I didn't make it very far.
No sooner did I take a step forward did Griffin open the door to our suite, letting in dozens of people. I felt my stomach drop.
Before I could process anything, speakers began to blast music, bottles of alcohol were being passed around, and the number of people had doubled.
My heart rate quickened in my chest as I clenched my fists which had gone clammy.
Don't freak out. They're just people.
I looked around me, everyone had already made themselves at home, laughing, hollering, and they certainly weren't missing the opportunity to pour alcohol down their throats.
There were so many people, the room temperature had to have raised a couple degrees already. I pulled at my collar, already feeling smothered.
I'll just go to my room and lock the door. I'll be fine.
I bit the inside of my cheek nervously, realizing my room was at the end of the opposite hall. I had to go through a crowd of people.
My gaze shot to the front door, but a large group of people were gathered in front of there as well.
I'll be fine.
I took a hesitant step forward, suddenly feeling as though my feet were encased in a pool of thick mud.
I approached the crowd of people, almost ready to move through them.
But the room was overcrowded, completely congested with the overflow of people. A few of them looked my way, wondering was I was up to. I swallowed hard.
A couple girls walked up on me from behind. I flinched when one of them pulled at my hoodie.
"You're really tall!" One of them slurred. The others laughed at her comment.
My vision became over-focused, my eyes darting all around the room. I couldn't seem to calm down.
I tugged at my collar again, this time desperately. I was struggling to breathe.
"What's your name?"
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Yeah, is she here?"
"Hellooo?"
"Can you not talk or something?"
"Hey you don't look so good."
The voices and sounds around me seemed to fuse together until nothing was clear anymore. My heart pounded in my chest.
"Hey! Why're you talking to my girlfriend!"
I felt a hand push me from behind and I stumbled forward, almost crashing into the group of girls.
I turned around to see a pissed off looking guy looking dead at me.
I can't do this.
I turned quickly and ran, shoving my way past the horde of people.
I think I heard him yelling from right behind me, but I never turned to look.
I turned into my room, only to find it occupied by at least another 15 people. One of them dropped their bottle and it shattered against the floor.
The bathroom.
I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me, locking it.
Only a second later did I hear the sound of hard fists slamming against the wood, rattling the door in it's frame.
"I know you're in there! Did you really think I'd just take you chatting up my girl!? Be a man and come out!"
I backed up until my legs hit the sink behind me.
I ripped off my hoodie with the false hope that it'd let me breathe again. My hand clutched the fabric of my shirt over my chest.
I knew my lungs were filling with air, I could hear my gasps, yet I felt like I was suffocating.
The beating against the door didn't stop, the violent sound mixed with the thump of the music playing throughout the suite, which only reminded me of the amount of people that were outside.
I crouched down and quickly slapped my hands over my ears, covering them.
Calm down... calm down!
~Nolan~
'Reid can't handle this level of people!'
'I still can't find him...'
Claire's words rang in my head repeatedly like an alarm.
'Can't handle?' I knew Reid wasn't the social type, but I never expected it to be the level of severity that would leave Claire's face teeming with worry.
Just how bad is he with people around him? And this many?
"We'll find him, okay? Just... keep looking," I reassured Claire. She nodded, understanding, and we went in two different directions, beginning our search for Reid.
I made my way through the crowd in the living room, though it proved difficult trying to shimmy past a couple dozen, intoxicated, dancing partiers.
I made it to the sliding door that lead to the balcony and pushed it open.
"Reid?"
Unfortunately, the only heads that turned were smokers using the outside area. No Reid.
I closed the door and pushed my way back through the crowd, worming my way to the kitchen.
I was met with disappointment yet again as I was greeting with a group of people doing jello shots, but not one of them were Reid.
I struggled through the crowd one last time before I finally made it to the hall, I opened Reid's bedroom door but it was occupied by a handful of couples using it as a make out spot, and others in a group laughing obnoxiously, standing over what looked like broken glass.
"Reid? You in here?" I called out. No answer.
Did he leave? Where would he go?
"Dude, open up! I need to piss!" I heard a guy yell as he pounded against the bathroom door.
"Hello!? How long are you gonna be in there for!?" He shook the door handle, but it was obviously locked.
Wait a minute... the bathroom!
I quickly made my way to the bathroom door.
"Sorry, excuse me."
The who had been waiting smacked his lips with a dismissing 'whatever' and left.
I knocked on the bathroom door.
"Reid? You in there? It's Nolan..."
I pressed my ear against the door, hoping to hear something as I waited for a response; but there was nothing.
I backed up and let my fingers trail the frame of the door until they found what the were searching for - an emergency key.
"I'm coming in!"
Weekly Power Status
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Ranking 
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