Chapter 79: Chapter 78 - A Woman Pursuing Her Happiness
Tang Roulan's gaze on Jing Wen for a long time. She and Jing Wen had been in a relationship for half a year before they had parted ways. Though neither had displayed any affection during those days, it was the most blissful and carefree moment of their lives.
It was just like a dream.
Naturally, all dreams had to come to an end. In the end, Tang Roulan's identity as Consort Li's disciple was revealed, whilst Jing Wen lost his father, his mother, his cultivation and his eyesight. Previously, the two were both geniuses of the younger generation, but now the gap between them is as wide as heaven and earth.
Tang Roulan suddenly said, "I've also joined Tai Chuntao 'faction'. Since you and I have the same intention of destroying the elixir of immortality, we should replace weapons with jade and silk (化干戈为玉帛 - bury the hatchet)."
Jing Wen said, "I did not expect you to side with Tai Chuntao."
Tang Roulan's expression gradually turned indifferent, "I don't sympathise with Tai Chuntao's beliefs, and I have no intention of giving up my life for his ideals. If elixir of immortality is destroyed, that's good. But if it fails, I have no intention of grieving."
Jing Wen asked, "Did you come to this conclusion, or is it Consort Li?"
"Master is nurturing her fetus; this decision is my own. Only Tai Chuntao and a handful of others would believe the elixir of immortality would bring such chaos. How can such a small wave tip over the Great Zhu?"
"No matter how small the wave, there will still be death."
"Why must I be selfless and save them? Don't forget that most of these deaths will be those vying for the elixir of immortality. I have no intention of giving my life to rescue a few of those hypocritical creatures."
Tang Roulan looked at Jing Wen and said, "Don't forget how many you silenced that night to keep that secret, or the countless you killed as an Imperial Guard. Your hand is stained with far more blood than mine. Why are you pretending to be a saint now?"
"I'm not playing saint. I merely want to prevent unnecessary bloodshed."
"Jing Wen, do you think I don't know you? These acts are just you seeking death in an attempt to find salvation to make up for what happened that day. What else are you're doing is just harming yourself for no reason. During that month of solitude in Jing Village, you only attempted to cultivate on a few occasions - most of your time you spend allowing the villagers to abuse you. Do you think by turning the other cheek, you're atoning for your father and your deeds? Don't fool yourself."
"I could not cultivate during that month because I could not cultivate."
"Then, why can you cultivate now?"
"If I say 'I don't know', how will you respond?"
Jing Wen had not been this agitated in a long time. Tang Roulan was familiar with his temperament and knew what words to say to disturb his mind. Moreover, she was the only one completely aware of what happened that night, allowing her to exploit Jing Wen's greatest secret. Aside from her, there was probably no other person capable of inciting Jing Wen to such a degree.
"We've already parted. Why do you still want to change me?"
Jing Wen looked at Tang Roulan and said, "So what if I want to harm myself? Does it harm you? Perhaps once I die, Consort Li would even be happier."
Tang Roulan answered, "Because I still like you."
Jing Wen said, "But I no longer like you."
Water began to pool in Tang Roulan's eyes did not spill. Controlling the fluctuation of her speech, she said with her voice indifferent, "Why must you be so heartless?"
At a young age, she had become one of only two disciples of Consort Li and achieved the Qi Manifestation state that others would spend a lifetime to achieve. While she could not be said to in the upper echelon of jianghu or politics, her future potential is boundless. Yet, at this moment, she was forced to confront the harsh words of her first and former companion, causing her to be as powerless as an ordinary girl.
Jing Wen would sense her grievances, though she tried to suppress them. However, he did not move to comfort her, because he wanted to end this karma decisively. He 'looked' at her eyes and said, "Life is so long; why focus on a short moment?"
Tang Roulan laughed mockingly but did not say a word. How can the following times compare with the first? Though they had never done anything intimate, they both had experienced the sensation of anticipation, excitement and confusion that accompanied the affair for the first time.
To Tang Roulan, to end this relationship was to part ways with her innocence and youth. To truly step onto the path of her master. Even if she experiences love once more, it would no longer be so pure and single-minded. It would be one where she had a clear pursuit in what she desired.
As such, Tang Roulan did not want this dream to so quickly come to an end.
"Jing Wen, you will have to marry eventually. Even if you no longer feel the same affection towards me as once before, at least you know my emotions to be genuine, and what I represent can you help achieve your goals."
"Roulan, don't wrong yourself. How can you reduce yourself to such an extent?"
The piece of cloth fluttered, and Jing Wen placated, "Though I have no intention on returning to our previous relationship, I never thought of making your life miserable even if I directly come into conflict with your master. I've never done this to acquire the power you possess. We are fated to walk different paths; why be so resistant?"
Tang Roulan's feelings changed slightly. It was unsure if it was because of Jing Wen's words that seemed to make their past relationship so meaningless or some other reason. Laughing contempuously, she said, "Jing Wen, your rejections are always so poetic… I really don't why know people in Lin'an always believe you to be a person of little literary talent."
Jing Wen had indeed rejected quite a number of people, so he was not surprised by Tang Roulan's reaction. He replied, "Roulan, you're wrong. I am untalented in both aspects of martial arts and literature. Though I returned to Heart Purification state, there are no chances of me fully recovering my former cultivation within a short period of time. Meanwhile, you cultivation will continue to grow. Right now, you may think highly of me, but as the gap between us widens, you will understand our differences."
Tang Roulan raised her eyebrows. She though back to her previous conversation with Consort Li. "The situation in the capital is so tense. Since you are aware of your weakness, why be determined on remaining in solitude?"
Jing Wen said, "Just as you said earlier; I'm a person that cares little about my own life. Since one cannot force a ox's head to drink water (老牛不喝水,不能强按头), why must you force me? Please return to the Imperial Palace and ask His Majesty to find a good man for you."
Tang Roulan knew Jing Wen was struggling to find ways to refuse her. The edge of her mouth curved upwards as she said calmly, "You're asking me to leave so directly?"
Jing Wen said, "It will be cruel to you if I allow our relationship to remain ambigious."
Tang Roulan suddenly laughed. "And those words were not cruel?"
Jing Wen said, "Its better for short term pain than long term suffering."
In this conversation, it appeared though Jing Wen had come atop, but in reality, he had failed to convince Tang Roulan with his fanciful words like he had done so with his previous admirers.
Tang Roulan was still determined on pursuing Jing Wen, and after confirming Jing Wen was completely resistant to her current methods, would undoubtably adopt more radical tactics. This is because she a pure person who had just experienced her first love. Those who are pure are both the most innocent creatures, but also the cruellest.
"I will not give up," Tang Roulan bit her lips and said decisively.
Jing Wen said honestly, "Who knows if I will still be alive in a few months. And even if I don't die, I simply return to living my life meaninglessly. After some time… I'm certain you will give up."
The more close two people are, the more painful their words. Aside form Consort Li and Tang Hong, Jing Wen was the person closest to Tang Roulan, so his words hurt the most,
Tang Roulan's gaze turned stranger and stranger.
"I have no issues raising a man who only eats soft rice, and I'm willing to live through three lifetimes of tribulations with you. Even if you disagree, so what? What's wrong with a woman pursuing her happiness? As the disciple of Ji Xiaofang, I don't believe I'm incapable of pursuing a man I want."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Noonespecial
Noonespecial In case if you've forgotten, Ji Xiaofang is Consort Li's actual name - Consort Li is just the title.
Jing Wen still has yet to fully go through his character development. His greatest issue at the moment is still his self-loathing as a result of his father's death.
Jing Wen was written with the idea of a fallen 'young master' archetype (though I changed it to make him infinitely more likeable than the average young master. To a degree, Tang Roulan is a bit emblematic of his past.
Thanks for reading!