Chapter 3: Decision Made
I floated in darkness. It engulfed me. That was all there was no matter where I turned to look. Every now and then I'd catch fleeting images of trees passing by me in a blur but it always lasted less then a few seconds.
I couldn't grasp where exactly I was, but the dark gave me a sense of bliss and safety. It felt as if I was dreaming, but I was fully aware. When I pinched myself I could still feel the little bit of pain it brought.
Did I die perhaps? Before I appeared here, I was in the woods with Nyc and I was transforming into a werewolf. I remember the horrible pain and then nothing but intense hunger. And then I woke up here. Maybe I didn't survive the transformation though. I was very weak to begin with, having nearly died before then.
Images of the cult and watching Miranda die in front of me flashed before me in the darkness. Though it went by quick, I still managed to catch a glimpse of Mirandas dead body.
She was like a sister to me, she had such big dreams. She wanted to help people, younger people mostly. Troubled teens and whatnot. That's what she was going to college for.
And She wanted a family more than anything.
Believe it or not but she managed to help me when I went through what I thought were the worst things that could happen to me. Like when my brother killed himself. Or when my boyfriend dumped me. When I felt there was nothing for me she was there to point me in the right direction and lift me up. I owed her so much, but I couldn't save her.
No. instead she died and I lived.
She deserved to live way more than me. Granted I would of preferred we both lived but if I had to choose, I'd choose her.
As more memories flashed around me, I ignored them and planted my feet on the darkness. I was surprised to find that I could do that at all though. I walked through the dark, wondering what I would do.
I would kill them all. If I woke up from this, if I am asleep that is. I would hunt down every single person that was in that cult. I don't know how yet but I would. Maybe Nyc would help me.
Even if he didn't. I was a monster now. I could tear them to pieces.
Did I have any weakness? From the stories, werewolves were vulnerable to silver. Was that true? Or myth?
I'm sure Nyc would teach me.
No matter what though. I would avenge Miranda and the life they stole from both of us. Because of course, I can't go home. I couldn't face the pity, the hurt, and the attention from everyone that would undoubtly come.
Its better if they think I died or disappeared.
"Ray..." The familiar voice calling my name made me freeze mid step.
I thought I was alone but that voice...
Slowly I turned around and gasped putting my hands to my mouth. There stood Miranda, her orange curly hair was up in a ponytail, and she wore a pale pink sundress, and her favorite fuzzy grey hoodie. It was the outfit she wore before we woke up on the slab surrounded by those people.
She smiled brightly at me and I couldn't control myself. I ran towards her and threw myself at her to bear hug her. "Oh my god Miranda! I'm so sorry..."
She laughed and hugged me back, "what are you sorry for?"
I pulled away and looked into her bright green eyes, "for not being able to save you..."
"Ah..." She smiled sadly, "that wasn't your fault Ray. We were helpless and there was nothing you could of done. Don't feel guilty for living either. I'm so happy you are still alive."
"I might still die though.."
"Mm. Nope. You'll live."
"How can you be so sure?" I found it weird that I am apparently alive, yet I'm able to see her? How is this possible?
"Because you're strong. And incredibly stubborn."
She wasn't wrong about me being stubborn. A lot of people said that to me and I didn't like to lose.
"If I'm going to live, how are you or me here right now?"
"Well... I'm not actually here. This is just your mind, your unconsciousness. Your basically dreaming right now. I'm only here because you were thinking about me."
Her words confused me. How can I be so aware in a dream? And why would she be able to know this is dream? My head started to hurt trying to understand this.
"Wait... But this doesn't feel like a dream."
"Ray. Your conscious mind wont be able to understand. Your body, its asleep, your mind however is awake. You are stuck in your mind though and everything you see right now, its not real. You conjured a memory of me and you're basically talking to your self through me. But I'm responding in a way that you would imagine me responding."
"...why?" I rubbed my temple feeling confused by each word she says.
"Because you share a body with another soul. Of the wolf that's now apart of you. And currently it is in control of your body leaving you stuck inside your head."
So I'm a werewolf, but it, the wolf, has its own soul? Own thoughts? And it can take over my...our body? And I could just...stay here? With Miranda?
"Miranda how do you know this?"
"I don't. But your soul, your conscious does. Like I said your just talking to yourself through me, so that you can understand it better."
"I don't think its working. I'm highly confused."
She simply shrugged.
"Can I take back control?"
"Yes."
"What if I decide to stay here?"
"Then you can stay here. But the wolf will gain full control and you will be stuck here."
That... That didn't sound too bad. If I was in control of everything happening in this area, I could just go back to my memories, before Miranda died. I can just stay here with her... Right?
I looked at her, before closing my eyes and thinking of the day we first started college. We rented an apartment nearby the campus together and just started unpacking.
When I opened my eyes, the darkness was gone and I was in my apartment room, and Miranda was texting on her phone laying on the floor with her feet on one of the boxes.
"Man this whole unpacking thing is tiring. Wanna like just get some blankets, order pizza and watch Netflix on one of our computers?" She said keeping her gaze on her phone as she scrolled through whatever she was looking at.
It works..."sure. What do you want to watch?"
"Hmm... Something scary."
I stood up and grabbed my bag from untop the dresser pulling out my Chromebook and folding it so it looked like a tablet. I bought up Netflix and searched through the movies.
"We got American horror story, Sinister, the boy...bird box? Any of these? Or the silence...?"
"I can always go for watching Sinister."
With that she rolled over and got up to help me set up a comfy spot on one of the beds with our blankets and pillows. When our spot looked comfortable enough she ordered pizza off of doordash and we waited for our food to arrive.
This was one of my favorite nights...and reliving it, was amazing.
Miranda walked off to the bathroom while I waited for our dasher to bring us food, I scrolled through Facebook on my phone as I did so.
The memory began to slow down suddenly though, and I heard a piercing ringing noise that nearly deafened me...and then...
"Ray!" Nyc's voice seemed to surround me.
It came again, his voice was filled with panic and concern as he spoke... "Ray you need to listen to me... You need to come back."
No... I didn't want to...
"I know.... in pain..." His voice began to cut in an out making it hard to hear him... "But, You ca... Ignore it this...ay. If you don't come back... Will ha... To kill you. I can't let th... Beast roam in full control..."
Why did I want to live in the first place? For revenge? How would I get it? I didn't see any of their faces. I didn't know where they were.
Thinking back, Nyc had managed to find them in fact.. he seems to be watching them. He took notes on them and even said he keeps them from bringing back Lycaon.
I liked it here though... What's that saying? Ignorance is bliss? If I go back I have to face the harsh reality of a new life, not only with the pain of losing everything but with a monster inside me, with some stranger.
And then what do I do if I achieve my goal for revenge?
I could always have Nyc kill me maybe... I don't know if I could go back to society. I'd have to start over.
I'd have to be alone.
But I could do something that might save others. If I killed those horrible people, I could stop them from hurting others. Miranda would agree that stopping them is better than giving up and letting them win.
I gave my apartment one last sorrowful look and made up my mind. I'd go back. I'd kill those mother fuckers. And I'd make sure they'd suffer the way Miranda and I did.
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