Chapter 3: Cliche Event
"Hmmmph! You are no fun, System." Simon pouted with a comedic blushing face.
[...]
[Does the host want to proceed with castration?]
"!!!" The Simons jumped back into each other in unison, hitting their heads against one another to produce a loud 'clank' sound. As much as it looked funny, they really did feel hurt.
"No! I will be good… Big Sys…" The Simons blushed again.
[...Fine]
"Well, I might as well loot this punk over here…" The Simons looked at each other with uncertain expressions, unable to decide who would inevitably take off the man's pants to check for any hidden secrets. As a man, he still believed in a certain sense of honour, but that honour was long gone when Simon kicked the bandit in the baby maker.
The Simons carefully stripped the corpse and quickly removed a few items from hidden pockets along with a bundle that was carefully hidden in the man's underwear. Thankfully, the man seemed to have packed hand sanitizer and disinfectant, thus saving the Simons from the possible bacterial infections.
After lining up everything on the cold hard floor, Simon was able to deduce his worth.
"I have 3,000 credits, a packet of ultra-thin condoms, three sets of panties, an expensive black wig, a knife worth 1,000 credits, three spirit stones, a single viagra pill, and a blank ID card." Simon read out to the other Simons, feeling rather disturbed as he looked back at the corpse.
"If that's what you're into, I'm not going to judge…"
The soul of the robber teamed up in shame. These items were not meant to be seen by others. How could he pass onto the next life with this level of humiliation? He might as well attempt to reincarnate as a plant and hope to reverse his terrible karma by producing air for eternity.
"At the very least, he had a spare ID. I think I know how to use this…" Simon put his finger on the card and tapped it twice.
DING
The card immediately came up with his face and his fingerprint already printed there, only missing a name and date of birth.
"I wonder what the common naming sense is in this world…" Simon silently came to the conclusion that he should wait before deciding on a name. At the very least, he wanted to get a general sense of what type of culture this society is based on.
There would be no use if his name is 'Chen Wei' when in a European setting. He would be easily suspected as some spy for all he knew. Same as being named Ravi in an African based society. At the very least, he wanted to not stand out too terribly.
Race is one thing, but a name is another.
"Hey, Big Sys… do you know where the nearest city is?"
[The system does not have authority to direct you to a location unless urgent. However, the system has found an event 1 minute northwest of you if you travel at a pace of 20 kilometres an hour]
"Does this event happen to give me an opportunity to find civilization?"
[Affirmative]
WOOSH
"THEN HERE WE GO!"
A group of four Simons ran across the forest with great speeds, approaching the site of the event within only a minute of travel.
'I wonder what type of event it will be… could it perhaps be a treasure event? Maybe there will be some mysterious Divine items to improve my cultivation. Who knows…'
Simon's view was immediately met with an incredibly cliche scene.
"ARRGH! YOUNG MISS! RUN!!!"
"..." Simon looked straight on as two hooded figures killed a man dressed in eastern martial arts robes with swords stained in blood.
'This is a young miss getting attacked by assassins event.' Simon said to himself with a deadpan face. He was no fan of this cliche. He remembered quite a few instances where a protagonist saves a woman and finds out she is being targeted by a powerful family that wants to take her as a daughter in law. This always ends with strife for the main character, too much trouble for not so much reward.
Simon would rather not get involved in something that would be sure to cause him much difficulties in the future.
"Strangers! Please stay out of this matter! This is between the Nangong clan and the Li clan." The assassins yelled.
Silently, Simon was glad that for once, the assassins did not attack the main character to silence him. For once, the assassins only cared about the target.
"Wait! No witnesses!!"
"..." Simon immediately took back every single good thought he had about the assassins.
Immediately, one of the assassins rushed towards the Simons with his sword in hand, aiming to decapitate all of them with a single swoop.
"Human Emperor Fist!"
PENG
CRACK
The sword shattered as the force of four fists came smashing at the blade in unison, sending the shards flying in all directions.
"MY SWORD!!"
'My loot!'
Simon really regretted not testing the skill before the fight had begun.
"How dare you attack us!" Simon yelled, readying to attack with all bodies.
"Bah! What sect are you young lads from?! Our Li clan does not have enmity with any ancient sect! Please stay out of these worldly matters!" The asian responded with a hint of arrogance.
'Oh right… ancient sects. What should I call my fake sect?'
Weekly Power Status
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Ranking 
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