Chapter 3: chapter 3 the start of many stupid encounters
Record of heavenly events in the church of they
???: did you know as the followers of the god of rumors were supposed to right down all the rumors that exist you would think that would be hard but that's an understatement it's a goddam nightmare trying to record all these events I think I might leave this place soon honestly nobody would work in the temple of they if it wasn't for the fact working here is one of the few places that can a fixed amount of intelligence points anyways back to recording a star fell from heaven today which means the birth of a divine beast that's all the divine things today which is weird almost like this is a super special day
[in a clearing in the enchanted woods a star falls and turns into an egg]
Once upon a time there was an ordinary wood then it was cursed this curse made it an enchanted wood which made a lot of fairies come along and all sorts of bad things happened people were turned into frogs poisonous apples were fed to children beasts kidnaped people to eat anyways the point is there are now a lot of fairy's in these woods and Dave just landed in it
{Time skip because I don't know how to simulate a growing up sequence but just you know he was adopted by a water spirit}
Goodbye mother and ???, ??? I'm going to explore the world and see new adventures
Water spirit: have fun child don't get yourself hurt and come back occasionally
Log: would you like to be in adult form
Yes log
Log: activating
Log: Transporting from the world tree please stay still
Log: you have come of age please chose an evolution
ill chose that later for now I'm going to explore the world
{this is the moment something special happens}
Log: are you rejecting evolution!!! that's impossible you know that means you can't evolve unless you do something incredible or insane!!!
So, what I can do that later
Log: you are a madman you know that right
Oh well it's time to explore
Log: I can't believe you
Believe it cause its real
now onto adventure!!!
Let's go take over the world it will be great and for the first thing I want to do I will eat something other than sacred dew
[later after several rampages in which most of the monsters in the surrounding area was consumed]
That really hit the spot what a buffet, but I've heard from mom that powerful monsters taste better than regular ones so its onwards we must consume them all
Log: why are you my partner I can't believe this it's insane I'm going to die here aren't I thousands of years of being a system assistant and I die here of all places with an idiotic wolf this is my life now pain and suffering
Stop being so sad and accept the chaos of life because when life gives you lemons you've got to squeeze them into life's eyes don't let what you get decide what you have take what you get into a lemon farm make an automatic squeezer to continuously put them in life's eyes were getting of track but the point is take what you get and create more from it don't give up but try and try again every failure is a learning opportunity sure rewriting basically your whole novel will make it really hard and some people might stop reading because they think you've stopped writing but the people who appreciate the effort you give will one day tell you they do even if the future looks grim now there's always a tomorrow if you keep trying so don't give up and keep going that's what my mom said to me
Log: sure, kid I won't give up here like you said there's always tomorrow and you can't sit around hoping tomorrow is better you gotta be here today making the future better even if it looks grim thanks for cheering me on
{sorry about the whole rant it was supposed to be a parody of the lemon rant from portal 2 but I got a bit too deep into it}
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
cat_of_doom
cat_of_doom revised version abrham lincon once said "You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better. But this is not true. You are sure to be happy again. Knowing this, truly believing it will make you less miserable now."
- Abraham Lincoln and i now im sure i can do all the other chapters
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