Chapter 23: 4th wall? What's that?... And a lot of bad puns
(A/N Notes: Man... I'm getting really strong with my horrible puns and jokes in this story)
"Huh? Wha... Oh... Send Amaouka to *yawn* boy named Douglas, is it?... Okay... ... ... Wait... I think I saw that name somewhere before... ... ... Actually, what were we talking about again?"
Laz-san had already forgotten what Stonks, Memes, and Dong asked him in the previous chapter
"You already forgot what we were talking about?"
"Well, to be fair it has been a week since the last previous chapter was posted"
"Yeah... We want you to somehow send Amaouka to a boy named Douglas Maxwell, can you do that for us?"
"Hm? Sure... I still have a few pull crystal left with me"
"Great, then let's try your luck on the pull string gacha"
The three companion gods dragged Laz-san to the gacha hell room, and once in there Laz-san went to try his luck in what pull strings he would get from RNGesus
" " "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon... Get the good stuff for our sake!" " "
Laz-san then made a 10-gacha pull, and a bright light came, and when it faded it revealed what his luck gave him
[4x soulmate card, 2x summoning card, 3x random skill card, 1x author ran out of ideas for card names card]
" " "..." " "
"Not even I can get that much good string-pulling cards"
Stonks said so at the number of good cards in Laz-san gacha hell pull
"Here... Now I'm going to bed"
Laz-san just gave the cards he pulled to the three, as he left the place
"... Okay, we got the necessary cards, but what do we do with these four cards?"
Memes showed the other two the soulmate cards
"Just put the names of the girls together with the boy's name in them"
"Well, this certainly feels weird doing this now"
"Yeah, but the Author already established that we don't obey the rules of time and space after talking a little with a reader"
"In other words, he just came with a dumb excuse to put whatever bullsh*t he wanted"
"Yeah, that's pretty much it, yes"
Smooth 4th wall break as always, I'm za best when it comes to this... In Wattpad at least as far as I know from the shallow experience I have of reading here
"Okay, we already filled eight of the ten cards with what we wanted, now the only remaining one is this summoning card"
"Hmm... We can either send the boy a weapon or something else"
"But if we send him a weapon, we can't even be sure if he'll use it, since he's literally Laz-san apostle"
"No, I think I have a good idea for that"
Memes grabbed the and wrote "Give Douglas some amazing formless weapon"
"An amazing..."
"Formless weapon"
"Now the author can just write some really vague description of a weapon and call it a day" *Thumbs up* (A/N Notes: The secret to a good story is writing as many loopholes as possible before writing the plot *In a very Russian accent*)
"Sounds good to me"
"Me too"
"Now let's just send this card away"
" "Aye!" "
And the three released the cards that disappeared into time and space to do their designated task
"... Now what?"
"I don't know, do you guys want to get more booze?"
"Sure, why not"
"That's some great idea"
and the three gods went back to the godly bar
Back to the... Well, the... Hmm?... Normal? Story
"..."
Sophia looked pale as if she had died as she sat down with her head dropped on a school desk as she was attending classes (A/N Notes: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!... I don't know why but I felt like laughing)
<Why... WHY!? WHY DID HIS HIGHNESS ALEXANDER HAD TO APPROVE THAT NEW LAW THAT OBLIGES EVERYONE TO ATTEND SCHOOL AFTER THEY TURN 16 WHEN I TURNED 16!?!?!? WHY GODS!?!?!?>
the answer was because she had a blessing... This blessing to be specific [Stonk's not stonks blessing: decreases the number of stonks of this soul]
<And today is also the day that Douglas-sama is going to do his first summoning since he's finally going to receive his baptism... And I'm not there to see it... Because I have to go to school, damnit...> *Tearing up out of anger* "Haa... I hate school..."
"Eh? What's wrong, Sophia-san?"
One of Sophia's school friend asked her in worry
Meanwhile
"It looks like we arrive. Hey! Wake up, sleep head"
"Huh? *Wakes up*... Are we there yet?..."
"Yes, we have already arrived at the Hagia Prez, so shall we get going with your first summoning"
"Okay... *Yawn*" *Rubbing eyes*
Catherine who was wearing her former head battle maid uniform opened the door and gave way for Alexander and Douglas to leave the Royal motorized carriage, also known as the royal car. They were right in front of the main entrance of the huge cathedral, that had a huge plaza with statues of all the gods, with the main god Prez in the middle, and the god Dong at the entrance in the pose that it's said to be how he seeded the earth after a challenge that lasted a month made by the god Memes, and that month is now known as November (A/N Notes: NNN challenge... Heh!)
The main entrance was open to them, and they all walked inside, at the end of the church hall right in front of the altar, the head of the church, the patriarch who was praying, lifted himself and turned to the three and their small but extremely professional and disciplined entourage, with a charismatic smile as he wore his full metal armor
(A/N Notes: Paladin Terry Crews... Worth it)
"I welcome thee, my dear family, to the Hagia Prez"
It was Gramps, the current patriarch of the national church, obviously since I said so some chapters ago
"Greetings, patriarch, it's an honor to be here"
"... Actually let's just get over with this, since today there's a game between the Royal socks and the republican shoes, and I don't want to miss it"
"... CAN'T YOU BE SERIOUS AT LEAST ONCE, AND ACT YOUR AGE, YOU OLD FOOL!!!"
"If I act like I care? Do I get a bonus pay?"
"... *vein popping up on his forehead*"
Alexander drew his sword and swung it down at Gramps who caught it with both hands, and in their contest of strength they made some cracks on the floor as everyone else felt a strong pressure released by their contest
(A/N Notes: You guys lost a good meme)
"Now, now. can you two stop fighting?"
An old woman in age, but not in appearance, came in and punched both Gramps and Alexander in the head, making the two stop, it was Grandma
"Great, now get this over with since I have a tea party to attend"
"... If you say so, sweetie"
"Yes, mother"
They both straightened their backs and got back to their positions
"*Clears throat* Ahem! Your royal highness, the crown prince Douglas Maxwell, please step forward"
"... *Steps forward*"
"Now, kneel and lower your head, close your eyes, and let the gods reach you (and something else along those lines)"
Douglas did so as Gramps said
"Now let the summoning ritual start"
And the priests started to sing the holy song in unison
(A/N Notes: Search for Dorime on Youtube... Still worth it)
And when they finished the ritual, the air before the altar began to shine in the form of an orb, that gained a form, and when the light faded out a blonde-haired girl around the age of Sophia landed as she held some formless stick that appeared to be made of light
"Huh!?"
"Oh!?"
"*Gasp*"
"Hm?" *Looks up*
The girl was looking right at Douglas, with a gentle smile on her face
"It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Douglas Maxwell. I am Amaouka, also know by your religion as the goddess of war and battle. And from now, I hope to get along with you"
"... Sure..."
Douglas answered her with his usual deadpan and sleepy face
(A/N Notes: If you guys ask what's going on, or where's this story on, all I can answer is: Yes)
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Lazy_Author_san
Lazy_Author_san Astronomia Medieval style
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