Chapter 3: Hearts Desire and Memories of the Past
Xuanji stayed in the underworld temporarily without really understanding anything. On the surface, she was doing many different jobs for the judge such as, serving tea and pouring water, but in reality , how many people would dare to let her work?
So, she could only wander around the city all day, and not cause any short of trouble.
The judge would randomly take some books about immortality and immortal culture to show her every day when he was free.
She liked how she was literate and talented.
She liked the feeling of being knowledgeable.
After a long time, the judge couldn't help but sigh for the wiseness of Emperor Bai Lin. If this ignorant soul was reincarnated directly at the beginning, she would only make unintentional mistakes over and over again, not know what she was doing wrong.
Now that she has read a lot of books, she is very interested in the matter of Immortality, moreover, the previous dullness in her personality was completely gone, revealing her potential to be a outstanding Immortal.
She is just like a stubborn stone, caught from the bottom of the river, she didn't know anything. Now using the truth about this world, the stories of the Senior Immortals and Sages which the Judge had taught her, she finally understood the hidden beauty of life and the world.
But there is one thing, which is a big headache .
She is lazy, surprisingly very lazy, too lazy to be angry anymore or to even complain.
As long as she lies down somewhere, she will never sit or stand.
She even tries to think without really bothering to think about it, which is extremely confusing to both us and her, so she didn't bother doing it again.
However, Xuanji only likes to sit on the edge of the river of forgetfulness river in a daze. As if if a invisible rope was drawing her in.
Everyone knew what she was looking for, but no one dared to tell her that all her past life memories were taken away by the Great White Jade Emperor Bai Lin. He wanted her to forget about all the hostility from previous lives, start over again, and get a new life.
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One day, the judge looked for her for a long time, but no on knew where she was, so he called the Guardian, who was guarding the underworld, and he said that Xuanji was watching golden birds by the edge of the river of the forgetfulness, staying all afternoon without moving even a inch.
That day, her heart felt heavy, and the judge carried a book to find her by the river, intending to reprimand her.
In the past few months, he had been with her, both of them have a relationship of master and disciple. It is because she is easy to tech and she is naturally very smart, and the judge's original alert mentality also relaxed, and he truly considered her as a disciple.
When he came out of the city gate, he saw a thin figure dressed in silk-white robes sitting beside the river of forgetfulness . He approached quietly, but saw her staring at the the golden bird on the shore, her eyes were blank, and he didn't know what she was thinking about.
He was about to speak to her, but Xuanji did not turn around to look at him, and said softly: "Disciple Greets Master."
The judge sighed, walked over and sat next to her. After a long time, he muttered: "What are you looking at, Xuanji?"
She lightly said : "Look at the colour of the birds and river. I have a very familiar feeling.
I always feel that I have seen it, but I can't remember it." The judge was slightly startled, but he quickly said: "The previous life is over, disciple. Don't worry about these mundane things anymore, otherwise it will violate the principles I taught you before."
Xuanji softly exclaimed, "Yes, what the teacher said is always right and in my heart I know it. I have always felt that it makes sense. Although I understand these principles very well, I don't know why I feel that those principles are something very far away from me and I find it extremely difficult to achieve."
"Oh? What things do you find difficult to do?"
"Tell me, you must cultivate your character and heart properly, don't focus on mundane things, the past, and moreover, don't you want to look forward?
The past is easy to make people fascinated, and if the heart is stained and if the heart is not pure anymore, and then you wouldn't be able cultivate."
She picked plucked a red lily from the other shore, put it in her palm and crushed it, and the bright red juice ran down between her slender fingers.
"However, the heart is for feeling things. And eyes are for seeing, mouths are for speaking, ears are for hearing. If all these are given up, what should I look at?
If I wasn't able to feel anything, what will happen to me?
What if I never feel pain again?
What if I can't taste the deliciousness of the mortal food?
Most importantly, what if I never can see these beautiful colour with me eyes again?
Master imagine how miserable will I be.....
Teacher, I don't understand what you said . What is in the heart of a immortal?
She lowered her head and said softly: "I understand what the teacher means. I just don't understand it how to do it. If there is no action and no intention inside it, then why is it necessary for it to exist. I didn't understand from a long time, and I feel that I must not be able to do it.
.......Teacher, you must be very disappointed in me."
The judge saw that her eyes were clear, but she was so foggy inside, she seemed to understand yet her heart was far from understanding it, the whole thing was extremely strange. He couldn't help but feel even more alarmed, knowing that this person was too smart, and he didn't know how she can remember actions and the cause of a mortal. If this wasn't supressed, he was afraid that it will form as a inner demon.
But when the time comes, she will fall into hell and become a demon, and she will never be able to turn over again. Then the Heavenly Emperor's and Emperor Bai Lin's efforts will be wasted....yet once again.
He was silent for a long time, and suddenly clapped his hands as he was enlightened, "Xuanji's meaning is understood by the teacher!" Her clear eyes widened in surprise, "What does the teacher understand?"
The judge smiled mysteriously and said: "I will show you, your past life! But this time not as an example but let you clear away all your doubts."
She couldn't help but be overjoyed,, she even forget to speak out of joy. The judge picked up a handful of soil from the shore and sprinkled it into the river of forgetfulness, saying: "Look carefully, so you don't ask about it next time."
She hurriedly leaned, but saw the waves in the river of forgetfulness changed, the colour of the water gradually condensed and started to form into different colours, and a familiar maiden in white appeared. Xuanji was taken aback when she saw the woman's face.
It is herself.
But she somehow looked really different.
Her face is very murderous, her eyes are like crushed ice, and she was emitting a killing intent. Suddenly, she pulled out a sharp sword, and she turned around and stabbed someone with the sword.
She didn't know what or who she was stabbing, but she saw a pool of blood splash all over her body. Then, she took back the sword and wiped her face, from the looks of it she had probably killed off her sworn enemy . She then left a blood-strain on a the dead person's left cheek. She suddenly gave a bitter-sweet smile, as if dripping with joy but at the same time, her eyes were lingering with sorrow and regret.
Xuanji only felt that this scene seemed familiar, that smile, that blood-stained white robes, that person who was killed...
Suddenly, her head was filled with noises.
It seemed as if the familiar melody sounded in her ears, the cry of golden winged bird, the sound swords clashing. And a scene composed in her mind, a general with a spiritual sword was surrounded by blue and red flames and Asuras with three heads and six arms.
Asuras! That is Asura World!
She wanted came out of that memory and was about to shout for help. But before she could, she was suddenly vigorously pushed, and she wasn't able to balance her body well, so she fell into the river of forgetfulness with a thump, and drank several bitter mouthfuls of water from the the river of forgetfulness.
Like a big cat falling into the water, she crawled to the shore in a panic. As soon as she reached the ground with her hands, she was in a daze. All of a sudden, the things that happened before and now, all turned into smoke and disappeared from her heart little by little.
She tilted her head blankly at the judge by the shore, it seems she had something in her mind which she wanted to tell him, but she forgot who he was.
Who was he?
Why was he standing in front of her, not helping her?
But who was she?
And once again,
the present and the past disappeared like a dream, which never existed.
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