Chapter 2: Sober Words
Christmas had finally come. That morning, all of us opened up our presents and then ate breakfast. My mom had told me my grandparents were having a party, sorry, gathering. So, I decided I wanted to go, along with my youngest brother, Ethan. Honestly, it was just old people drinking and partying, they really knew how to party.
It didn't take us long to get there, everyone all said hi to me and told me to go eat, nothing new honestly. I didn't really enjoy parties, because no one was ever my age so I was always alone. Though, I do love babies. I just watch the kids for the adults so they can party. This time I decided to party with them. It was Christmas, why not? My mom let me drink a few, saying to not make it noticeable so my grandma couldn't see. She would not get her eyes off of me, she knew what I was doing. Then finally, my aunt and her boyfriend came, they had vodka in a water bottle. It looked like water so no one would be suspicious. "Drink more and go dance with them, they want you to party with them Samira." They told me, me taking big sips and going to go dance with the elders.
My mom was different than most moms. She wasn't a bad mom, just not like other mothers. She would always worry if we did anything that could lead us to getting hurt, but she also was the kind of mom who wanted us to do it and learn from our own mistakes. I am very thankful that this beautiful person was my mother.
The alcohol started to kick in, it started to <i>really</i> kick in. I sat back down and rested my head on the table, because I wasn't liking how dizzy I felt. It was so loud, I couldn't even hear my own thoughts... well, that's if I had any. Was I even? what?! "You shouldn't have had so much, Esme, bring her to your house please."
Esme, my cousin who is two months younger than me and my best friend. We grew up together and she was the one person who mattered most to me. She is my reason for living.
Her house wasn't far, just down the street, so walking wasn't an issue at all. Once we got inside, I laid on the floor, hoping to sober up soon. I really can't remember what I did in the next minutes? maybe hours? I'm not sure. I started to cry, because I didn't like how dizzy and sick I felt. It was my first time drinking, I didn't know it would be like this.
I slowly sobered up more, needing fresh air so Esme and my aunt took me for air on their porch. I was still crying. "I try so hard to do everything perfect for you, to be there for you, Esme. I watch you fall apart and be in pain, it hurts me so much. You are my world, the reason I want to breathe. I can't leave you... leave you in this cruel world alone." Esme sat there and watched me pour my feelings out, soon crying also. Auntie was sitting on a chair near us, trying not to listen. One thing slipped out my mouth that caught her attention completely. "I feel disgusting, My family loves him... I can't I can't do that to him. I am so scared of him touching me again."
It didn't take long for my mom to come driving to me, who had went back home thinking I would be okay with them. When she got here, I got in the car. I hate how I had to tell her something this big like this. I don't like making anyone worry, especially my mother. "Uncle has been doing... Uhm, inappropriate things to me for a few years now."
I can see it just by looking at her, that she was like a mirror that dropped onto the pavement, she shattered. Now, that didn't stop her from asking me millions of questions as I continued to let my tears roll down my soft, pink cheeks. "I can't believe this happened and I never saw it... I am a terrible mother." She was always the type to blame herself, I got it from her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just... what if... I thought no one would believe me or it would tear our family apart, because I know he is like a brother to papa. Where is he going to go? Jail? I don't want to deal with police right now mama."
Everything he did, every single detail, still lingers in my head... yet, I didn't want him to have a horrible life nor be in pain. No matter how much trauma he put me through, everyone deserved happiness in my eyes. "You can't always put everyone in front of you, Samira. What are we going to do now? If you don't want us to go to the police then what do you want? If I help pay for your sister to buy a house, will you live with them? Get you out the house then figure it out?" I nodded my head, wiping my tears away with my sleeve. I really had the best mom, she just wanted me comfortable. "Okay and when you're ready, we will talk to the police."
When we finally got home, I stayed silent walking into the house. I avoiding making contact with his eyes and walked faster out of the main room. I knew ignoring him would be hard, but I would hope he would catch on. I wanted to get out, I felt like I was suffocating, like I was a puppet for his show and I hated it with everything in me.
Days, weeks, months past and no luck on a house. At this point, we know he caught on to what was going on. My father was kept out of the whole situation, I didn't want him to act on his anger and go punch him or something. It was better he didn't know. We would know at some point, as so will my brothers. Everything was going right for once and it made me have little hope for myself. I've made it this far, why end it and give up now?
Weekly Power Status
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