Chapter 3: Chapter 3 Telling her the Truth
< Sanada Seiji >
While sitting in front of each other , the sun is setting , haruka chan is looking at me , I can understand her worries , I can see now which I was unable to before , there are worries of her not being worth of me and blinding me from other women but that not all , there are worries of her me abandoning her over other and getting tired of her too , I can understand , if I was her , maybe I would feel the same too
< sensei , what I am going to say , please listen this first and then I will share what I have hiding from you >
< seiji kun , I will accept it no matter what > haruka said looking at my eyes
< Sensei , you have actually a 2 mole right avobe your hips and there is a small mark on your inner thigh and it look like half moon >
< ahhh, hm , aaaaaaaahhhhhh seiji how do you know that , do you peek at me , doing this you know >
< you were actually jealous of how natsumi was when you were kid , and often dreamt to be a person who will live freely and guide other people too >
< seiji kun , how do you know that > haruka chan looked at me surprised , her eyes wide open and staring at me
< you actually liked a cat when you were 4 but your mother never let you have it , that's why you always feed cats whenever you see them because it reminds you of it >
< seiji kun , seiji kun how do you know those things from childhood , I have never told anyone about that , not even natsumi >
< the scratch on your inner thigh was from cat and you hide it from you family because you were afraid of something happening to the cat >
< seiji , how ?> haruka was clearly shocked and staring at me like I was a ghost
< the cat name was mumu >
Haruka stood up and she was looking at me like I was some ghost
< no no its not possible , I have never shared it to anyone and no one knows in family too >
< you have shared it with me >
< no I don't remember when , was I drunk seiji kun >
< no 10 years from now , when we go to adopt a pet , you shared that with me >
< what are you saying seiji kun , 10 year from now ?>
< haruka chan , I told you before how I have time lapsed right , before when I cooked for you >
< yes >
< actually on first I was 30 year old adult and my regret was never confessing to you , I used to work a company and everyday I will regret never sharing my feelings with you in high school , I would often think that if I could >
< seiji kun , are you not saying that you time lapsed right >
< actually the day I confessed was the day I time lapsed , when I saw I was shocked and I mustered my all courage to confess to you >
< ahh , are you saying that for real seiji kun or are you joking with me >
< I can actually time lapse between me and 10 year later , I have happened to me many times >
< you may think I am crazy but it has happened to me , do you remember the text when I said I will find a way to make your family approve of us >
< yes , in the middle of night , seiji kun what it has to with that >
< actually in the future , I was a teacher and we were working together but we were still not engaged , when I asked you , you said your family didn't approve and your father asked me to have atleast 10 million yuan yearly to marry you >
< ahh , that much how can they do that and were you not dreaming seiji kun ?
< I know you don't believe me but I have seen that , I saw you smiling at me but there was tiredness in it , I realized then that I cant make you happy that way , that's why I asked you to share it with natsumi , so we can get your family approval , so I can be with you and make you happy >
Haruka was silently standing there
< second time I went , it was actually us living together with natsumi , your family company was falling apart ,w e had to rent a apartment and we lived there , we still weren't engaged , so when I asked you , you told me , your father approved but you told me to not ask them as it was hard time >
< that's why I started working on hrg thinking I could change it >
< but then in 3rd time , even though your family company was holding on , we still weren't engaged , you were right next to me laying on bed naked , I could saw your beautiful smile and that time I thought maybe we can be finally happy but when you told me that you don't want the ceremony and your mother didn't approve >
< I knew how much important a marriage is to you , that how you felt , attending all the marriages and that's when I realized maybe I could solve it and can finally make you happy >
I couldn't hold back now I was telling her the truth , I just couldn't stop , tears started falling
< you said you didn't want the ceremony but I could see that you were sad inside , how could I not know it , I wanted your parents approval and ,make you happy , I really loved you and have loved you for so long >
< that's why I went to meet your mother and went that far because I wished I could help you , I wished for a happy future where we could be together >
Haruka heart was stirred ,when she first started hearing , she thought it was just a joke but the more she listened , the more she realized it wasn't , because she also knew how her family was
< you know then next time I time lapsed , I found we had broken up , I was sad , depressed , It was a very complex emotion , but then after I start asking around , I realized from other people , that we had broken up on 3rd month of the 3rd year >
< I really wanted to knew why , why have I gone along with it , why did I do to make you do that , I really felt sad that time , that's why nowadays I felt like some sort of time bomb was ticking on my head >
My tears couldn't stop , my face was wet with tears
< then it stopped , the time lapse , and I found out why we broke up , because you had felt some way that there could be a better women whom with I will be happier , and I knew why you said that , I can understand , for you I am just a teen high schooler who is blinded by you , you may even think that if you weren't there , then I would be happier or find someone even better , you felt that whenever you saw some girl approach me , because you thought they are young , he could deserve better >
My heart was aching , I couldn't stop my knees from bending
Haruka was first surprised then stunned but when he started talking about break up and how she felt , there was an empty feeling in her heart , so it did , in the end we weren't together huh , somehow she felt her heart shake but her awareness was shifted when she suddenly listened to next sentence
< you know it didn't end there ,after that you started ignoring me , the history room was locked , all our meeting places were vanishing , it ached , it hurted like crazy but I thought maybe it will work in the end , just like that I went to university worked hard , met lot of women like you wanted me to but sensei you know , you were always the most amazing one , then I started working at hrg , I will listen about you from natsumi , how she was worried about you , I will feel sad and hurt , but I knew until the Christmas of 27 we weren't together , inside I was afraid , afraid that you might reject me , you might not like me anymore or you would have some one else , or you might still not recognize me at adult>
Haruka seeing how much pain he was in , his every word and emotions in it , her tears started falling too
< then it happened , at Christmas eve I went to meet sensei , I asked you out and you accepted , I was glad that we were together again , that you accepted me finally and recognized me as adult , i thought it was finally a happy ending , days and years passed by , we got married and you even got pregnant but then when I realized that how much time we stood becoming mature , or I say me becoming mature while you were enduring it alone , when I asked you , you told me you didn't regret it ,and said you were happy that I came back but I saw deep inside you really didn't want to do that , you know I was even admitted in your family and my sister made a whole fuss at our wedding hah , I can never forget that blooming smile on your face , I really fell in love all over again for you>
< days were kinda happy , we would come home , date , hang out and do all the things we wanted , you would cook for me , spoil me but in time I started realizing maybe we didn't have to through that if I would have told you all this , maybe you would have accepted that I wasn't blinded by you but I was there because it was you >
I went on my knees and pleaded her
< Miss Haruka , I understand that to you I may be only a teenager who is blinded by you , you may think that I have been just blinded by you and there could be a better women out there who could make me happier and that's why you want to separate from me but I am only here because I loved you , I may look like a teenager but inside me is a man in 30s who have yearned for you most of his 20s and 20s , who everyday thought I wish I had confessed to her , who regretted not doing that >
Haruka was loss for worlds , from betting knowing his secrets to doing everything he said , she felt in her heart it was true , she felt sad and bad for all of it , how much he had gone through to be with me , how much he really want to be with me
< at first I confessed I liked you but the more time I spend with you , the better I understood you , the more I knew about you , the more I fell in love with you , I don't have way to solve the feelings you have , doubts and worries you have about me but I want you to know even if we decide to break up , I will wait for the day we can be together , even I meet all the women in world but sensei will always be the most amazing women , for you it may have been mere words from high school teenager but I have gone through it , and I am willing to go through it no matter how many how many times to be with you >
< if its not you , I would rather spend time cherishing our memories and working hard in hope to be with you , I understand that my words hold no value as I am nothing but a kid in your eyes , I know that but I wanted to share it with you , even if it changes nothing , I hope you know , I will still be waiting for the moment we are together again and I will always love you>
After I spoke about it , I finally felt the load has been taken over from me , I finally felt that something heavy from my heart is taken off and I felt calm and then I looked at her
She was standing there tears from her eyes dripping and looking at me
I didn't know what to do
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