Chapter 19: Fallen Princess (3)
How come my affection becomes my shame?
Then our unforgettable memories become nightmares just in seconds.
Shui Jing
***
"Please, don't say it."
My head cannot process the new information that I get from him. He says that he is not my husband? No! I must be misheard, right? Xue Chen must be joking, right? I am not ready yet to hear his words. Now he is still inside of me and we are doing it now. I really want him. How come he said something inauspicious like this? I kiss his cheek while he is lying beneath me. I close my eyes because I am so tired but my body still wants him. I don't know what kind of red pill she gave me. I couldn't even let him go.
"No…It's wrong. It's a mistake. We must sober…" He said while trying to manage his breath.
"I don't want to be sober because I don't want to lose you again..."
"No…I am not your husband..."
"My husband, did I make you feel uncomfortable?" I asked as tears fell from my eyes.
"No…I don't want …" Xue Chen wipes away my tears. He looked so confused when stared at me so I kissed him vigorously until he kissed me back.
I know that I want him more. I know Xue Chen couldn't ignore me because of the pill's effect but his words still irritates me the most because all this time Xue Chen never hurt me but what can I do? I cannot control myself. I have to get him. I want Xue Chen inside me.
"Please…I need you now…" I plead.
"Listen, I don't want you to feel guilty…" He said but I don't want to listen anymore because the fire inside me pulled me to wanting him more.
I kiss him. I don't want to hear his rejection words. Tonight is our wedding night so why can we feel our love together? I just want to carve this night into my unforgettable memories between us. Could I?
After wiping away my tears, Xue Chen did not say a single word, perhaps the pill's effect is still working on him and that makes us do this until we have no energy anymore. I sleep on his chest. I calm down when I hear his heartbeat. I know …in my dream…Xue Chen is still alive.
Until…I know my dream just mirage…my affection becomes a curse. My reputation was destroyed. All because of…me.
The sunrise makes me see everything around me but my body is so tired beside I am so lazy to move from his body. Can I stay like his? Let our body connect like this. Feel him fulfilled me inside.
"Please open your eyes." He said. He still doesn't want to touch me. During this time I am the one who provoked him.
"I don't want this beautiful dream..." My throat stumbles because I see beneath me there is an ugly old man. His body is full of wrinkles. I am shocked. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I want to die right now. Our body is still connected but I can't move because I am not strong enough to face this real world. My tears are rolling down over his chest.
"I am sorry." He said with hoarseness.
I know during this night I am the one who became the whore. My husband had died yesterday but I became a whore for another man. Not just a man but an old man. My tears make his tattoo on his chest become wet. Both of us were really exhausted so he let me sleep on his body. I don't know how long but when I opened my eyes he was still beneath me.
Now nothing left on me. I feel so disgusted with myself when I remember about tonight. My body became sore. I still cannot move freely while he's trying to stand up. I see his naked body full of wrinkles. I feel so ashamed and I don't know what I should do.
That man is bathing at the waterfall then comes back to give me the water as he helps me to sit and feeds me the water.
"I will help you to come back to your family. If your husband divorce you, I will take care of you."
"My husband had died. This is just my mistake. " I replied. I knew and felt his sorrowful life besides we become like this because of that evil woman and Qin Qiao.
"That's my mistake also."
He pats my shoulder as if he said that he wants to console me.
"I will help you bathe if you want."
I can't move so I let him bring me on his back. He is so old but still manages to bring me to the riverbank. I can feel that he has a warm heart. My body is not secret anymore. Even I feel so disgusted but deep down I know that's not his fault. That is me. He helps me bath but he doesn't want to touch me. He just let the water wipe away the sweat, his seed, and my blood. He just touches my face and my hair but he doesn't lay his hand to my body. Then he brings me on his back and helps me to wear his inner layer. So we shared his layer.
"Is your body still hurt?" He asked nervously.
"Uhm."
"Do you want to eat?"
I shake my head. I don't have any appetite right now. I just want to die but I couldn't let Qin Qiao win.
"But if you don't eat. You won't get better. I will help you come back to your parents."
"They'd died."
He wants to pat my shoulder but he retreats himself.
"What can I do?" He asked with his hoarse voice.
"None can console me."
"Then…let me take care of you from now."
What??!! I don't need him to take care of me but now I can't move. My body is broken now. Can I forget that night? I am the one who should be blamed. Xue Chen please forgive me. Forgive me my husband.
Fresh blood suddenly spit out from my mouth.
"Miss, are you alright?"
This old man looks so worried about me. I just realized he has violet eyes. His unraveled white hair sparkling when the sun touches them. He has unique hair and eyes.
"Uhm. We have to go before they find us."
"But your..."
" I have to survive...", Even though my voice is still weak, I don't want to die here.
"Then I will help you."
***
Gifts
-- Gift
received Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone