Chapter 43: chapter 10:Lockhart
Harry would have stopped dead in the entrance to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class if not for the fact that most of the other students were pushing at him in an attempt to get through. At the overly-ornamented desk at the front of the classroom, Gilderoy Lockhart leaned against it in a pose obviously chosen to both suggest confidence and to show off his embroidered shirt and cape. His grin seemed to twinkle in the light as he waved one arm in greeting, a grin echoed by the many posters of him on the walls.
"Welcome to your first Defense Against the Dark Arts!" he smiled broadly. "Please, come in and be seated!"
"This is going to suck." Harry growled to himself as he made his way to one of the desks near the back of the room, noting that on each desk was a small pile of paper placed face down. "Probably worse than those damn Mandrakes we were repotting."
Once everyone was seated and had pulled their books out of their bags, Lockhart pushed himself away from the desk and paced round the classroom, his cloak flaring with every step, before coming to a stop at the front of the room.
"Good morning!" He proclaimed. "As I am certain you are aware, I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher this year. For the few of you who haven't heard of me before, and if it's more than a few, I need to have words with my publicist, I am none other than Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin (Third Class), Honourary Member of theDark Force Defence League, bestselling author and five-times winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award… but I generally don't make a big thing about that. I didn't get rid of the Brandon Banshee by simply smiling at her…"
"So going to suck." Harry grumbled quietly enough that Lockhart didn't hear him.
"Now, I see you've all purchased the books I put on your list, so now let's see how much you've read already." Gilderoy continued. "In front of each of you is a test. You have thirty minutes, so please turn them over and begin!"
Harry turned over the papers and stared in horrified shock at the questions written on them.
1: What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?
2: What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3: What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
Harry leafed through the pages, his horrified disbelief increasing, until he reached the final question.
54: When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday and what would his favorite present be?
"All these questions are about Lockhart!" He growled to himself. "Is he trying to turn this class into his own personal fan club or something?"
"Sir," Jor-El's voice came to Harry through his earpiece, "I have been monitoring this class and one of his claims is already provably false."
"Tell me." Harry sub-vocalized.
.
"Time's up!" Gilderoy called. "Quills down!"
Harry watched as a wave of Lockhart's wand caused all the questionnaires to fly to his desk, whereupon he tapped the assembled papers with a wand before frowning. Shuffling through the pile, he pulled out four sheets and looked at them, then his gaze rose.
"Mr Potter, any reason why you chose not to do this test?"
"Because the questions had nothing to do with DADA." Harry stated, knocking the books from his desk onto the floor. "How does knowing how much sage you prefer in your lasagna aid in defending oneself against… vampires or werewolves? Does knowing your favorite setting for a diamond ring help in fending off an attacker? As for your books, there are so many errors in them that they could almost be considered works of fiction!"
"That will be a detention, Mr Potter." Gilderoy stated coldly. "I would have thought that someone with your level of fame would appreciate this class."
Harry tilted his head. "Sir, as per Hogwarts Charter page two hundred and fifty-seven, section nine, subsection five, I, as Lord Potter of House Potter, hereby challenge you to a duel to prove your teaching credentials.
"Harry!" Hermione hissed and Lockhart's glare increased.
"Very well, Mr Potter," He snapped. "If you want a duel, you shall have one!"
"Professor Flitwick has the Dueling Hall prepared and as a Dueling Champion, he is undoubtedly the best choice to oversee our confrontation." Harry informed the irate adult. "Sunday at one in the afternoon good for you?"
Lockhart's nod was curt.
"I won't be attending tomorrow morning's class." Harry added.
"I'd throw you out if you did." Lockhart almost snarled.
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"What are you thinking?" Hermione half-shouted at Harry, who simply gave her a half-smile.
"Hermione, in my library at home, there's a self-updating book called The Greatest Of Them All: Recipients of the Order of Merlin. Guess who isn't in it."
Hermione's jaw dropped. "He lied?"
"While he has indeed been publicly nominated for one, Gilderoy Lockhart has never actually been awarded any Order of Merlin, unlike the Headmaster who has three. Two First Class and one Second Class." Harry confirmed. "Deputy Headmistress McGonogall has a single First Class while Professor Flitwick has two Second Class Orders. Heck, I have a Second-Class Order of Merlin which was awarded to me after the deaths of my parents. Lockhart? Just a note that he was considered for one, but there wasn't enough actual proof to meet the criteria."
Hermione paused while around them, the other students watched with undisguised curiosity.
"All of the books show him using spells, but ones which do not appear on the Hogwarts curriculum and a few of which are known to be Family Spells."
Hermione frowned in confusion, but it was Draco Malfoy who provided enlightenment for her.
"Family Spells are those taught only to members of a specific family or those who are brought into one. They can be wand spells, rituals, specific types of Wards or even a mutual reservoir of magic that they can draw upon in need, but they are well-guarded by the families in question. All the old families tend to have at least one Family spell. The Weasleys are believed by many to have fertility rituals, which is why there are so many of them. Family Spells are one reason why Purebloods dominate in the higher levels of our society. If Lockhart has been using Family Spells without being part of the Families in question… I need to write to my parents. They need to know this."
Draco hurried off, followed by Crabbe and Goyle.
"I'll be talking to Flitwick this afternoon." Harry continued. "As I told Lockhart, Flitwick's the best choice of referee."
"They have to be neutral and you call him Uncle Fil outside Hogwarts." Neville pointed out and Harry face-palmed.
"Bugger."
"Harry, language!"
.
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"Interesting." Lucius Malfoy mused as he re-read his son's letter. "But the timing could have been better. My plan should be starting to work… to have something like this happen…"
"Lockhart always did strike me as being somewhat fake." Narcissa said from where she was looking through several different sets of plans and pictures. "But for him to accept a duel against a twelve-year-old boy… whether he wins or loses, his reputation will be severely damaged."
Lucius nodded slowly. "I quite agree. But what to do? Naturally, since he is going to lose all the respect the pupils have for him, he should be replaced… but by whom?"
"It has been quite a while since I last walked the halls of Hogwarts." Narcissa remarked and Lucius stared at her.
"My love, it could be risky…"
Lucius' voice came to a halt as Narcissa seemed to Apparate to in front of him, her wand pressing against his throat.
"My beloved…" She purred as Lucius started to sweat. "Please tell me just what your plan is… for if it puts our son at risk, I shall take steps…"
If not for the wand pressing against his larynx, Lucius would have swallowed nervously.
"It's… I slipped an artifact that the Dark Lord gave me into the possessions of a Hogwarts student…" He whispered. "I was told that it would help the Dark Lord regain a mortal body and given how what happened to Quirrell proves that he has not yet passed beyond the veil…"
Narcissa frowned for a moment, then stepped away from her husband.
"All the more reason that I should be there to oversee things, my love." She stated as Lucius rubbed his throat. "After all, what would happen if this artifact ended up in our son's hands? Would you be willing to sacrifice your own heir to bring back the Dark Lord? I wouldn't, our son is our future and I will not see him endangered."
"Of… of course, my love." Lucius managed. "I shall begin canvassing support immediately."
"Better to wait until Sunday, after the duel concludes." Narcissa corrected him. "Let the others think that we are trying to correct the old fool's errors, rather than helping him make them."
"…of course, my love." Lucius replied with a smirk of appreciation. "As always, you know how to play the Great Game."
"Speaking of games," Narcissa smiled back at him, "How goes the testing of the game our son recommended be modified?"
"It is ready to go into production. May I ask why?"
"I think it would make a good gift to your old House." Narcissa replied and Lucius nodded in understanding. "However, I have to ask. Did your old Master explain about that so-called curse on the Defense position?"
"He did." Lucius nodded. "He told me that no Professor would last an entire year, unless they had the Dark Mark upon their arm, in which case the curse would end."
"And since the year has already started, I should be safe since there is less than a year left." Narcissa deduced. "Perhaps you could push for Severus to be the Instructor from next year. I believe that Andromeda would be more than happy to teach Potions in his place."
Lucius opened his mouth, then reconsidered his reflexive protest which cause Narcissa to smirk at him. Finally he nodded slowly.
"Yes. While I personally would prefer someone who has not been expelled from their Family, I cannot deny her skill at Potions, or the fact that she would make it less stressful for the younger years. Perhaps… perhaps it would be worth leveraging a place for her this year ready for Severus to make the transfer next year, dealing with the first few years while Severus deals with those about to take their OWLs and NEWTs… a donation to Hogwarts to fund such a thing may prove useful and would certainly raise our political reputation…"
Narcissa nodded approvingly. "Once again, my beloved, you follow my thoughts well."
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Albus gave a small smile as Filius Flitwick led Harry Potter into his office.
"Filius, Lord Potter." He greeted them, being careful to use young Harry's proper title. "Please, be seated."
Albus sat back in his comfortable chair and waited until both of his guests had made themselves comfortable before speaking again.
"I have been made aware as to Professor Lockhart's… shortcomings. Filius showed me the list you gave him and I've contacted a few of my overseas friends, asking them to do some investigating for me. However, it will take them a few weeks, at best, to conclude their investigations. No…" Albus raised his hand to forestall Harry's interruption. "I am not asking you to put off the duel that you are having with Lockhart. In fact, I look forwards to seeing how much you have learned under the eye of our resident Dueling Champion. However, your actions have brought about a problem… and oddly enough, an opportunity. For once, I may actually have a replacement for him lined up, assuming that I have interpreted her hints correctly, as well as an announcement about Potions that I will be making on Sunday evening. Why, Severus almost cracked a smile when I told him about it and he actually awarded a Gryffindor some points!"
Flitwick's jaw dropped.
.
"I need something to help me win! I need something to help me win!" Lockhart mumbled to himself as he strode aimlessly through Hogwarts. "I need something to help me… win?"
A door rippled into existence just next to him and Gilderoy slowly pushed it open. On the other side was a room piled high with various bits, pieces and other oddments.
"Oh. My." Gilderoy half-whispered to himself as he stepped into the room, then he chuckled. "Well, I think I'll find something useful in this… and maybe something profitable too… Now, let's see, I'll need something to put everything in... Accio Trunks!"
Only his surprisingly well-developed dodging skills allowed him to escape the horizontal wooden avalanche with little more than bumps and bruises.
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