Throughout the 2 days of knowing Harry Laynes, it has become apparent to me that I don't know how to improvise- at all. And, being exact: it has been less than 2 days, more like 44 hours. Call me a geek but you'd be wrong. I'm only guessing, but considering I met Harry mid-day now two days ago, it can't be exactly 2 days.
Yesterday, we went baking. I made a total mess of things. But then again it was his choice bring me there.
Blossom, he wouldn't of known.
Today Harry and I have decided to go to his place.
Okay, I lied. He said via messaging 'Good morning' now, call me lazy, but 7 am does not make things a good morning. That's way too early, at least give me another hour. Deal with it, Bloss. 'Hello Harry, why on earth are you messaging so early' He almost immediately responded in 'Did I wake you up, love? Sorry' I mean, yes he did but I was nice about it. 'No not at all' He said almost instantly 'You sure?'
Basically, then he asked me to come to his, I asked why and when, he said now, I said what do you mean now, then he said I'm outside, take you time.
And that's why I'm here. Standing in front of my wardrobe unsure on what to wear. I mean I do know what to wear--in a way. I don't even know how long I've been stood here. I should probably hurry up.
Unable to decide, I just grab some things and go.
I run downstairs and shout goodbye to Emma and her 'not so secret boyfriend'
What am I wearing? Oh god. Oh. God. I look down and realise I'm wearing a Winnie The Pooh jumper with popping out ears. This day is going great already. I'm only going to make a fool out of myself again and again and again. The only thing decent about my outfit is my black legging and my trainers. I don't think the trainers count though.
Without taking any notice of my surroundings, I bump into Harry's car. Splendid. That's probably a dent. He rolls down his blacked-out window whilst I feel my face go red. Earth, I am truly begging you to swallow me. "Morning, love," Harry says with his dimply smile. I look at him and his smile fades away. Yep, he probably has just realised my terrible fashion choice. "You okay love?" I shake my head no for 2 reasons. One, to answer his question, though this isn't my real reason, it just fitted with my feelings. And two, to wipe away my overfilling thoughts and smile. And nod. And without saying a word, I make my way around his car and enter the passenger seat.
***
"We're around halfway, love." He states, concentrating on the road. I take a peek at his face. His concentrating face is great! No, Bloss, contain your giggles. It's a very slight frown and a very slight pout. It's, how people word it, dorky. Maybe not, I'm guessing again.
"I don't even know why you want me there so early." I chuckle. Then it all kicks in. This is the first time at his house. And, the way I'm heading, I'll most likely trip up and hit a saucepan, then the pan will turn on the oven and blow everything up. In fact, that's exactly what I think is going to happen.
"Love," I really have given up on saying that love is not my name. "No reason." Suddenly I can read him like a children's book. Mainly because that is clearly and blatantly a lie. No one, and I mean no one, would wake you up at 7 am for no reason. "Just to see if," There a short pause. Whatever words come out his mouth, I almost instantly know, is a lie. "I've helped with your writer's block." He stutters. Told you he'd lie. No one would wonder about my wellbeing. Except maybe Emma.
"Why do I suddenly feel like the person driving this car is a lier?" I ask. Bloss, why did you word it like that? I forget that though and smile. Harry eyes me as his dimples appear alongside his smile.
"Maybe," His smirk just got bigger along with his nose "Okay love, it was a slight, tiny, small, mini lie." I nod indicating for him to continue. "But, I'm not telling until we get there." He chuckles. I feel the car make a turn as he continues "But I wasn't lying, love." I'm half confused. I don't know what the other half is yet. "I do want to see if I have mended your 'writer's block'"
Now, I like having him a company(mainly because he has been my only company other than Emma) but, I really am still having trouble to work out how going to London was in any way going to help me write a book.
The worst thing is about today is that he keeps looking at me. Well, not me, my Winnie The Pooh jumper. Now, as I have already very much discovered, I cannot improvise one bit. But, in this case, that's my only option.
He looks at me again. He gives me a smile and then turns back to the road. I know my outfit is pretty much a toddler's outfit or something similar, but he's just rubbing it in. Is he though? What if he isn't and I'm just overreacting like I do most of my life? I feel myself go red. I look down to my lap so I don't have to face the world around me.
"You alright, love?" He asks, his smile turning to a frowny concentrating face. I still keep my head down for one reason: I think I could cry of embarrassment any moment. My eyes are stinging slightly, which normally means that I'll cry.
"Is my outfit really that bad?" I say in a timid voice. I see his frown turn into a bigger frown.
"What's wrong with your outfit love?" He asks. I mean how doesn't he know what's wrong with my outfit. Everything's wrong with it. Head to toe.
"Well, you just smiled at me and my outfit is pretty terrible considering I feel like a 5-year-old in it, so I think it's even worst. I don't want to look silly today but I didn't want you to wait in the car for too long so I just grabbed some clothes and went but now I've realised that--" He's smiling again. And for the first time, I know why.
I rambled. When I get overwhelmed I always ramble, it's just me.
"Love, your outfit is lovely." He smiles to the point I think his dimples might pop out. Blossom, dimples don't just 'fall out'. "And, the only reason I was smiling was because," He looks both ways of the road so he can turn. Do I really want to hear his reason? "Was because you said it was too early for you though you still decided to come. You didn't have to love. But you did."
I look at him and smile as we arrive at his house.
***
I here the keys drop on a table as I enter. His house his big, well not really. I mean it is big but not too big. It's very tidy and organised though. Unlike my house. My house is pretty messy.
I place my bag on the floor beside the door as I look around the area around me. I really don't know what to say about his home. You could say I'm speechless. My jaw is on the floor in amazement. It's very well furnished and looks just absolutely amazing.
"You like it, love?" I nod still very unable to say anything at all."Good, the living room is this way." He leads me to the lounge and so I take in every last detail. His walls are a grey colour matching his sofas with why and grey cushions. One of his sofas is a corner one-that's the grey one. The other two are white with grey cushions. Told you, every last detail. I pinch myself as I still can't believe it's real. Update, it is.
I take a seat, not relaxing my back on the back of the couch so I don't ruin his perfectly displayed cushions. "So," I take one big inhale looking around the room again "Why did you really want me here?" I smile and then I look at him also taking a seat in the corner of the sofa.
"Well," He starts. Now, he should know I can't read his mind. So I stay silent. "Firstly for you to see the house I guess." Well, that can't be it, right? "And also because like I said, the magician that I am wants to see if I have helped with your writer's block." He stands up and motions his hands for me to follow him. "Here's the kitchen." He explains, walking over between the island and the counters. "Want a drink?" He asks, looking directly at me. I still think that he doesn't really like my jumper.
"Water please," I reply. He nods before swiftly getting me water.
"There's a party tonight, love." He says, his back to me whilst filling my glass up. And a party? I can't attend it, I will wreck the place. I would ruin his career. Bloss, he doesn't want to invite you. He'll probably just drop you off beforehand.
"Where?" I ask as if I'm in a rush. I freeze as I feel myself go red.
"Friends house." He replies, walking over to me with the water. He hands over the water and leans on the island, where I am. "And I was wondering," Don't say what I think you're saying, Harry. He plays with his rings, unable to make any eye contact. I can tell he's nervous. This is basically the first time I've been able to read him and his emotions. "Can you," You better not say it, Harry. "Can you come? And," He said it. The thing I didn't want him to say. He still is looking down. Why is he nervous? I'm the one who's going to be surrounded by famous people. Yes, I'm deciding to go. I'll feel too awkward if I said no, he's just been too nice of a person. "And, if you don't like it, I promise I'll take you home." He finally looks up at me, still playing with his rings. "Please?"
***
As I exit the taxi I realise what a big mistake this was. It's crowded with just everyone. And I see famous faces everywhere I turn and I only feel like an outcast.
Let's see how this night plays out.
Harry holds my hand and guides me inside the party only to be accompanied by more people and celebrities. Everything is a blur.
"Hello, Harold" A familiar voice shouts. I look up and see James Harris and his wife. My heart is beating rapidly and I can barely breathe.
"Hey James," Harry chuckles "How are you? You okay?" He says with a big smile on his face.
"Yeah I'm fine, who's this you have bought with you" My heart is rather beating so fast that I can hear it or its just my heart no moving at all. Blossom, try and act it out cool.
As unsure as I am, I look up at James and smile. Oh god, that smile was probably crooked."Blossom's a friend of mine." I feel Harry slightly squeeze my hand for maybe comfort?
"Nice to meet you, Blossom," James' words become more slurred the more he drinks whatever he is drinking, which is very clearly alcohol. He reaches out his hand. I look at his hand for a moment. I don't think this could get any worse. I go even more red to the point I think my head could fall off at any moment and shake his hand.
After a while of talking to known faces of the world Harry and I get a drink. I'm not a big drinker. I don't drink because I don't feel the need to. Though I do fill up my glass, I only take very small sips. "I'm going to go to the toilet, love, wait here." I nod as he quickly rushes into the crowd. And as soon as I know it, I'm alone in a sea of famous people.
I look down to my feet trying to hold in my tears. I'm not sad, I'm not happy, I'm very much not exited. I feel like I have too many emotions bottled up to the point where it's going to burst.
I can't handle this. I stay there sipping my glass, looking at the area around me. It's dark, full, and small. I feel as if I have no space at all. I need to get some fresh air. Now.
I put down my glass and squeeze past all the well-known people around me. I rise on my toes to see if there's a small gap to get past. There isn't.
There are many things wrong with today:
1. I'm here with Harry Laynes though I'm just a basic girl living the, sometimes, cruel reality.
2. I'm wearing a Winnie The Pooh jumper.
3. I'm at a celebrity party.
4. Everything.
Every single second that passes feels like the crowd gets more crowded and the I become smaller. I can barely see anything, just big blurs. I arise to my tiptoes again and see Harry come out a room, making his towards me. How does he know? Did he see me? How I could barely see him. The inside is even more crowded than outside. Even. More.
I turn right and to this even more crowded hallway. I don't look back and keep walking until I reach a dead end. Tears are pouring down my face and I feel lost. I am lost. Without thinking I drop to my knees and crawl under a table. At this point, I don't care if I make a fool out of myself. I just want to get out of here and go home and tell Emma everything.
I curl up into a ball and cry.
As weird as it is and it sounds, it's peaceful under here. You can't be judged and you can cry all you want. I don't know how I fit under here but I do.
"Blossom," Someone shouts from across the hallway. Harry. The calls become louder and louder until it comes to a pause. I don't know if I'm breathing or no. I don't think I am. "Bloss, love?" Harry says as I feel the table cloth lift up.
I don't look, I just continue to cry. He moves next to me, still under the table and I feel his arm wrap around my shoulder. He gently pushes me against his shoulder allowing me to cry. "Harry I'm going to get your tee shirt we--"
"Are you okay, love?" He gives me a hug in the snug space and I feel his eyes on me. Well yes, Bloss, you're the only other person under here. "Love, please tell me what's wrong." In a way, I can hear the worry in his voice. I can also feel his heart beat a little faster than what a normal heart should. I'm pretty sure anyway.
I stay in silence because I can't speak. I don't think I'm scared. I think I might be slightly claustrophobic. Maybe. I know I'm definitely nervous though.
***
We sit there for around an hour until my tears dry up in silence. Not an awkward silence. Not at all. We just sat under the table and we didn't move. "Harry, I want to go," I say feeling sparks of tears come. "Please?" He squeezes my shoulder.
"Let's go,"
***
It's strange how close two can get in the time span of two days. I mean, I'm an awkward toddler who only has had one friend up until now. And Harry's a success person who seems a lot more stable than I am. In a way, we are pretty different people. There's a Fine Line between our lives. Yet, here we are.
As of now, Harry is showing me around as I only saw the down stairs earlier today. "This is the spare room, love." He opens the door to this room that is pretty basic. I still like the room though. I think the only reason I think it's basic is that it's not full, it's pretty empty as no one sleeps here.
Harry lays down on the bed and smiles. I lay beside him. When did I think it was okay to lay down on a bed next to Harry Laynes? It's not okay. I forget the thought and try and get my heart back to its normal rate.
After some time of just laying there, he gets up from his position. I yawn as quiet as possible. Isn't yawning considered rude? Either way, I did, and he smiled. He is probably trying not to laugh. "Would you like anything, love?" He asks.
"Water would be nice," I reply. So just like that, he was off to get water.
Today has just been tiring. Luckily for us though, the day is ending. I'm tiered and I need to get back home soon. I'll tell him when he gets back.
I hear him walk back upstairs humming to himself as I quickly drift off into a night of sleep.
A much-needed sleep.